Her Name Is Heather - Losing My Sister To Alzheimer's Disease
Symptoms Of Mild Alzheimer's Disease
Alzheimer's disease affects people differently. This disease progresses in several stages: preclinical, mild (sometimes called early-stage), moderate, and severe (sometimes called late-stage). After extensive research, plus my sister's doctor's diagnoses, these are the most common symptoms in the early stages:
- Problems coming up with the right word or name. Heather cannot recall most words
- Trouble remembering names when introduced to new people
- Having greater difficulty performing tasks in social or work settings.
- Forgetting material that one has just read
- Losing or misplacing a valuable object
- Trouble handling money and bills
- Increased anxiety
Her Name Is Heather
Lashes laced with fringe
Feathering her beautiful face
The innocent child hides angel wings
Longing for a safer place
Her name is Heather
Afraid to eat from off her plate
Her trust is buried deep in fear
Reaching for her sisters food
Safe to swallow ghosts disappear
Her name is Heather
Rebellious spirit since her birth
Defying voices filled with rage
Unfair punishment lingers near
Beyond her years at any age
Her name is Heather
Senseless beatings fragile heart
To love or not to love
Scars wrapped in silk a tear apart
Too proud she wears them like a glove
Her name is Heather
Who will protect the innocent child?
Tornadoes whirl around her
Invisable rage a natural state
Poisons lurking to even the pure
Her name is Heather
The womans enemy now are seizures
Grand Mall is the name
Her body broken bruised and punished
The grown child there is no blame
Her name is Heather
Dementia steals her life away
Insideous thief of the mind
Grabbing chunks of memory
She cannot seem to find
Her name is Heather.
She is my sister in the dark
Trying to find her way
The time will come to claim her peace
"Take me home" is what she'll say
Her name is Heather.
God bless her for the life she lived
I'll miss her when she's gone
We'll only be a note apart
I'll find her hidden in my song.
Her name is Heather
Trying To Talk With Someone With Dementia
"So what did you do today?" (This is the third time my sister has asked me this same question.) A bit irritated I replied, "I told you...I went to the symphony." Then my sister asked again, "Who went with you?" My reply for the third time, "Randy."
Our phone conversation was getting on my nerves. My sister, Heather, had problems using the new cell phone. Every other sentence was interrupted by a dial tone. She wasn't the least bit aware of swiping the "end call" shown clearly on her cell phone.
This behavior is caused by dementia. Heather's long-term memory is amazingly clear. However her short-term memory is not. Seeing her slip in-and-out as my sister is like losing her again and again. It's tough!
Dementia Impacts Memory And Social Skills
Feelings of Guilt
Once the conversation has ended with my sister, and my emotions have had time to cool down, I'm left with over-whelming feelings of guilt and sorrow. "Shame on me for being abrupt with her. What's wrong with me?" I tell myself, "Next time I'll be more patient and understanding." After all, it's not her fault.
Still I ask myself, "When the abusive behavior affects the quality of my own life is it okay to withdraw and stop talking to her?" I search for answers. How do I honor my own feelings and still be there for my sister?
In Conclusion
I feel that my sister is gone. I hear her voice but somehow it's changed. Even the look, the familiar eyes, the strong movements of her body, are under the spell of this devastating disease. I want to save her. I want to rescue my sister. I can do nothing.
My heart goes out to all those who suffer from Alzheimer's as well as those left trying so hard to understand what has happened to their loved one.
“I want to tell you how much I miss my mother. Bits of her are still there. I miss her most when I’m sitting across from her.”
– Candy Crowley
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and does not substitute for diagnosis, prognosis, treatment, prescription, and/or dietary advice from a licensed health professional. Drugs, supplements, and natural remedies may have dangerous side effects. If pregnant or nursing, consult with a qualified provider on an individual basis. Seek immediate help if you are experiencing a medical emergency.
© 2015 Audrey Hunt
