How To Be A Mother And A Best Friend At The Same Time?
A mother plays a crucial role in child development because she becomes the first person who sees her newborn, breastfeed him or her, play and monitor her baby development. She has to take care of all her baby’s needs.
Years after years, your son or daughter grows, from a newborn baby to a toddler, and from a toddler to a teenager, then he or she becomes an adult. When your child grows, you must be ready to face more and more problems from your kid, from school, friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, drugs and other things. You start monitoring your kid as you don’t feel that you can trust them enough. Your children feel that they already know what they should do, and they don’t want you to pay attention to the detail about their activity again. It seems that everything is not as good as expected. Then, what should you do?
It is normal to monitor your children activity, to help them deal with peer pressure from their friends, who may have a bad influence on them. However, the mother must also realize that every stage of development has its uniqueness so they should handle it wisely. For example, do not feel angry if your teenage prefers sharing his or her problems to their peers, as it is a process for your teenage to find their self-identity.
If you are eager to be a good mother to your children, then you must be their best friend, so they can share their problems and stories safely. Here are some tips to be a great mom and also the best friend for children.
Realize that you both live in a different era. The problems seem similar a little bit, but of course, your kids face more complex kinds of problems than you did when you were kid or teenager.
Be a Good Listener
If your daughter is reluctant to share her story with you, it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t want to do it with you. Maybe it is because you seem to interrupt her story and make comments while she hasn’t finished yet. Since you want your child to trust you, and then be a good listener first by showing him or her that you understand and ready to listen to their story anytime. Just listening will make them feel more relaxed with sharing their problems with you.
Do not judge and blame them
Sometimes, we spontaneously make judgmental remarks or comments when we think that our children did what they shouldn’t do. It is not good because they will feel attacked. Listen to their story first, the given comment. If you think that they have gone wrong, try to calm yourself and not to blame them. Just explain that there are consequences of their wrongdoings.
No matter what they have done and achieved, your children need you to lift their confidence. Start appreciating them, tell them that you are always there to motivate and encourage them. If your child expresses a different viewpoint from yours, you must respect them.
Change Your Mindset
Mother always knows best. Are you sure that you always know the best for your kids? Remember, you breastfeed, take care of them, teach them how to write, read and count, but it doesn’t mean that you have full control over your children future. Your children have the rights to choose what class they want to take, what they want to be, and other decisions about their life. What you must do is to show them guidance and teach them to be responsible. You can’t expect your children to put their trust in you if you still keep this old mindset.
Try to build two-way communication with your children, start listening and appreciating them. Happy parenting!
Do you agree or disagree with this article about being a mother and a best friend at the same time?
© 2014 Mae Merriweather aka Boss Lady Mae