How To Cope With Fastidiousness

The moment they walk in, the first thing they ask is "who moved the soffer".They go to the table and remove the children's toys from it and put them in their bag.At the dinning table mats are not placed correctly and on and on. Does this sound familiar?

Let's pause there for a moment to take a closer look at this behavioral pattern known as fastidiousness. It's basically an excessive or meticulous attention to detail. Everything has to be done in a particular way or things arranged in a particular order. I know of a person who when he sits at the dinner table and notices a book on the shelf that is not well pushed in and out of line with others,he leaves his meal and goes to put it right.A grain of sand felt beneath his foot and out pops the vacuum cleaner even at midnight.

So he's excessively, most likely annoyingly tidy, over exacting and over bearing. Such people are quick to find fault and very difficult to please because they have such a" high standard " of doing things.We'll be looking from three different perspectives,namely, as a spouse, a parent and an offspring.

1) As a spouse

Coping with a partner that is fastidious can be extremely difficult. Trying to please such a person can be a daunting task that requires a lot of effort.The following will be helpful.

(i)Understanding

You'll need a lot of this to be able to cope with this behavior. Knowing they suffer from it and taking them for whom they are and that there is very little you can do to change them.

(ii)Trying to adjust to their pattern-

Knowing their routine,their likes and dislikes would also help to minimize friction between the partners.Doing things the way they want and generally leaving things the way they are or returning them to their previous state after use is also a good idea.

2) As a Parent

At first, a child that exhibits this trait will be found amusing but it can quickly turn to" irritation." "Why all the fuss about everything", you wonder. Try the following.

(i)Patience

Is all you can exercise especially at the initial stage. As the child grows older, you could try talking and trying making them see things in contrary light.

(ii)Understanding

You'll also need this to cope adequately with the child. Try to control your impatience and irritability.

3) As an offspring.

As an offspring, the problem could be two fold- having a fastidious parent or a fastidious sibling.

a) A fastidious parent-

In this situation there is very little you can do.They are the boss of you. You can only be tolerant and occasionally murmur your discontent.

b) A fastidious sibling-

If it's someone older, just try and let them be, and keep out of their stuff so you won't be at the receiving end. For someone younger, don't bully. Just understand that they are unique and show them love and care.Basically we are all unique and different in our own way. Love ,understanding and tolerance would allow us all live in harmony.

Being fastidious which comes in varying degrees can put a strain upon the family life if not adequqtely managed. A show of love, understanding and tolerance will help.