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Parents Love Your Children
Love Isn't a Feeling. It is an Action.
The word "love" is used so loosely in our world today. People use love to describe the way they see objects. They say "I love pizza or I love ice cream." How can you love something that does not love you back? Love requires a giver and a receiver. Love is not an adjective. Love is a verb. It requires action. Love is not a feeling but a demonstration or action towards another person. I love my husband by showing him that I love him. How do I do that? By my actions towards him. If I know that he likes breakfast in the mornings, I show my love for him by making breakfast without him have to ask. The word of God describes love like this:
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
In these verses it talks about actions that can be demonstrated referring to "love". It goes on to say that love does not pass away like the speaking of tongues or gaining wisdom.
In these verses God gives us instructions on how to love. Not just how to love our children but also our families. Why would God feel the need to provide instruction as it relates to "love"? Because even today people fail to understand that "love" requires action.
As a parent be intentional about how you demonstrate love to your children.
I came from a family that didn't express love very well. When I had my child it was easy to love when a baby. But a toddler not so easy. You see I didn't experience "love" as a child. No one explained it to me. Like so many other parents before me I would use the word loosely to describe an object. Not realizing that I was minimizing or watering it down into something so much less than love.
I recognized early that I needed to show my child love. I know to some it may seem easy. But for those parents who did not experience that paternal love it is quite hard. My child wanted to play all the time. I had to train myself not to push my child away. When my child would approach me to give me a hug or play I had to stop what I was doing. I had to tell myself in that moment my child wants me to show them love. I had to tell myself when my child wanted a hug to let them hug me. I knew that I loved my child but I had to consciously tell myself to demonstrate it because that was not the environment I came from.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
As a Parent How Can You Demonstrate Love?
Remind yourself that love requires action. When you're child approaches you stop what you are doing. Give them your full attention. If they hug you, hug them back. When they spill the milk on the floor demonstrate patience. Do not raise your voice.
Let them know that you know they did not spill the milk on purpose.
Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.
The Greatest Commandment Is Love
The greatest gift you could ever give your child is to teach them how to love. You do this by demonstrating it in your actions towards them. Yes, sometimes you need to wear the hat of a disciplinarian but not all the time. There has to be a balance. Showing them love even in discipline will strengthen the bond you have with your child.. When you do this they will not only learn to love others but they will also learn to love themselves.
The word talks about that in the end times the hearts of the children will become cold towards their parents. Maybe the reason why this will happen has to do with a lack of demonstrating what love is rather then saying what it is.
Love is Sacrificial
In order to demonstrate real love it has to come from a place of selflessness.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
Jesus paid the ultimate price. But his father in heaven made the ultimate sacrifice. He showed us his love for humanity by giving up his only son. This should be our example of how to love sacrificially. They do grow up. We need to let them go and trust God.
Ways that Reflect Your Love
- Kids are going to push your buttons. They are going to test the waters. When they do, demonstrate love through patience, instead of becoming angry. You are their role model. When you demonstrate love through patience, not only do they receive it, but they will pay it forward.
- Sometimes children make us angry. They may like to talk back. Maybe they don't always tell the truth. It's OK to be angry. But channel that anger in love. Use that anger to turn into something more positive.
- It's OK to admit that you made a mistake. As parents we need to understand that mistake doesn't mean failure. A mistake is just a wonderful opportunity to learn. You can show your children that you love them by saying sorry when you know you are wrong. Not only does it teach them love but it also teaches them that it is OK to ask for forgiveness when they have wronged another person. You are showing them how not to be proud of wrongdoing.
- Don't get frustrated when your child doesn't quite get something. Keep in mind how old they are. Sometimes our kids are so intelligent that we forget they are children.
Love is an Action
Example
| Action
| Result
|
---|---|---|
Mom/Dad I had an accident.
| Anger - I knew you weren't ready to start driving.
| I can't stand my parents. When you react in anger instead of love you are teaching your child how to have hate towards you and others. The better response would have been to ask if they were ok. When you do that you are demonstrating love through patience. You are teaching them that they mean more to you then the car.
|
Mom/Dad I want to go on a camping trip with the school.
| Kindness - That's great. What can I do to help you pack?
| When you show your children kindness you teach them how to be kind towards others.
|
Steadfast Love
Deuteronomy 7:9 Know therefore that the LORD your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations
Keep Your Promises to Your Children
Don't make promises to your children you can't keep. God shows us in Deuteronomy that he is a God who demonstrates his love by keeping His promises. Children never forget a promise. Choose your words wisely. When speaking to them; If you make a promise you do not keep, they will remind you of it. Love your children completely. Be consistent. Do not waiver in your love for them. How you demonstrate your "Love" through selfless actions shows them that you are committed. That you are a parent who keeps your promises. This teaches them through your reflection that they should also love deeply. Be consistent. Be a person of their word. It also teaches them to believe in the promises of God for their lives. If you show them through love that you don't break your promises, they will believe through your actions that God also does not break his promises to them. They will know that God's promises apply to them.
5 Easy Ways of Demonstrating Your Love Towards Your Children
- Communicate with them daily. Let them know that you love them.
- Be present in the moment. Selflessly set your things aside to hear what they want to talk about. It's not always about you.
- Try your best never to respond to them out of anger.
- Demonstrate patience. Do not be quick to believe everything some tells you about your child.
- Demonstrate kindness by making them their favorite breakfast.
© 2017 Christian Momma