ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How to Handle Spoiled Siblings

Updated on March 6, 2013
Making fun of her little brother...Kids are cute but...
Making fun of her little brother...Kids are cute but... | Source

If you ever happened to take care of siblings, your own or others', you might have had a lot of fun. However, you might as well have faced conflicts, misbehavior, and other painful issues.

Knowing how to handle spoiled siblings can change your worldview and attitude towards children in general. It may also influence your self-esteem, make you a riper personality. But everything comes with practice.

I was an au-pair girl once, taking care of two boys in a French family for about a year. This was a very fruitful and educational experience. My duties were taking them to school and bringing them back, accompanying them in their daily routine, doing home tasks with them and taking them around the city.

I am really grateful to their parents for their being helpful in this uneasy task. Here is some advice I would like to give to those who are going to work with siblings or who simply need it.

Who is the first to take a bath?
Who is the first to take a bath? | Source

You Are Authority

Are you confident enough? Unconsciously, children want security. That's what adults are for, aren't they? They will try to test you and manipulate you. Stay calm. Give directions. It's all about you managing them, not them managing you. Be firm, but be fair.

When In Fight, Separate

When two brothers are together, they may start fighting. Rivalry is quite natural. It's inscribed in the thousands of years of the human history. Sisters and brothers may fight, too. If a fight takes place, separate the kids. Place them each in a different room. And make them occupied with some activity that each of them likes most.

No, it's mine!
No, it's mine! | Source

Keep Them Busy

Conflicts often take place when children are hyperactive. If this is the case, keep them busy. Play games. Tell stories. Sing songs. Read books. Do sports. You will also do them a great favour developing their skills in their favorite activities.

Busy-busy!
Busy-busy! | Source

Say "No" More Than Once

Educating kids is all about setting limits. They will want to cross borders more than once. But they should be aware of limits. They may make a face if you say "no", but they must know about the rules. They may want an explanation. Give it to them, find good reasons. Say it's for their own security or benefit. If it doesn't work and they argue, remember - you are the authority. It's quite enough that you decided so.

Show Your Character

When they do not get what they want, spoiled siblings often show their character. They would scream, lie on the ground, run away from you, maybe even call you names. Show your character back! You have a weak character? Be an actor with a strong one! It is good if you can train in advance in front of a mirror trying different intonations and mimics. It's important that they know who the boss is.

I'm the boss!
I'm the boss! | Source

Be Emotional

There is nothing more convincing for children than emotions. If you dislike something about their behavior, say it with anger. Children are very reactive to emotions. A phrase like "How naughty of you! Can you explain why you did that?" is much more powerful when pronounced with indignation rather than in a calm way. Even saying "I'm so upset you did it" with a sad face is very effective. On the other hand, you can always praise something they did right, or appreciate their ability to share, politeness, kindness, respectfulness. Positive emotions are very stimulating. "Now, that was nice of you! Great job!" is very inspiring for a child and they would want to do it again. Remember: children are not as aware of themselves as adults. The advantage of being an adult is that you can use your emotions consciously. When properly applied, they help children become more aware of what is right and what is wrong.

Now, you upset me!
Now, you upset me! | Source

Be patient

Kids are like fertile soil. They take everything you put into them and make it grow. If you spoil them, they get spoiled. If you educate them correctly, they become self-realized, socially fit personalities. Give it time though. Your efforts will certainly pay back.

Educate yourself

Read about educating problem children and sibling rivalry, visit forums, watch education-oriented films. Talk to other parents about their kids' issues. Share your experiences. This will do you a world of good. I wish all parents and educators good luck in this uneasy yet noble task - handling spoiled siblings.

How About You?

Did you have siblings rivalry with your brothers or sisters?

See results

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • avorodisa profile imageAUTHOR

      Anna Sidorova 

      5 years ago from Russia

      Tracy Lynn, thank you for the feedback! I guess most of the time parents are busy making their career, but often they are just not ready to face the responsibility of being a parent.

    • Tracy Lynn Conway profile image

      Tracy Lynn Conway 

      5 years ago from Virginia, USA

      You have made many great points here that many parents could learn from. Well done! It seems parents either don't know what their role is or are sometimes too busy to take the time to figure it out. Voted up!

    • avorodisa profile imageAUTHOR

      Anna Sidorova 

      5 years ago from Russia

      Thank you, Denise! I truly appreciate your feedback)))

    • Denise Handlon profile image

      Denise Handlon 

      5 years ago from North Carolina

      Your tips are filled with wisdom that will surely empower anyone in a parenting role, timid or not. I thought they were excellent.

      Some of my favorites: "Be emotional"-how freeing is that! Most people advise on staying calm, which can easily confuse the child.

      "Rivalry is quite natural"-yes, we don't learn to love what our siblings do back in our younger days b/c, frankly...we're quite uncivilized. That's why children need guidance to become civil and handle disagreements fairly. This happens with practice, fairness, and age.

      "You are the authority"-I cannot tell you how many parents in our society today withdraw from their responsibilities of setting limits and being the authority. Instead, they let the kids run the show.

      Rated up/u/a/I Very well said, and I am sure that your experience was very valuable. :)

    • avorodisa profile imageAUTHOR

      Anna Sidorova 

      5 years ago from Russia

      cashmere, I agree. Everyone is in such a hurry so they don't seem to have enough time to raise their children!

    • cashmere profile image

      cashmere 

      5 years ago from India

      Patience is what's in short supply! Great hub.

    • avorodisa profile imageAUTHOR

      Anna Sidorova 

      5 years ago from Russia

      MarleneB, gmwilliams, Ashish,

      Thank you so much for your feedback. I'm as always happy to be of help.

    • profile image

      Ashish 

      5 years ago

      Ultimate tips.

    • gmwilliams profile image

      Grace Marguerite Williams 

      5 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      Very interesting and informative hub regarding the sibling experience. Voted up.

    • MarleneB profile image

      Marlene Bertrand 

      5 years ago from USA

      Excellent tips for how to handle spoiled siblings. Your tip about setting limits is, to me, the most important. I think if people start with limits, the rest can be worked around that.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)