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How to Make Small Talk with Anyone

Updated on October 20, 2016

Small talk can be Jaw Breaking or Nerve-wrecking

Two people trying to make small talk.
Two people trying to make small talk. | Source
Experience gets you out there to make conversations.
Experience gets you out there to make conversations. | Source
Social skills for children is great idea.
Social skills for children is great idea. | Source
They look comfortable with a smile.
They look comfortable with a smile. | Source

Small Talk is easy if you choose to get out of your shell

During my childhood years my shyness kept me from talking to anyone.

I knew or the visitors we had over for meals remember feeling very shy to talk to people.

My dad often invited a few co-workers over to our home.

Friends often came by on weekends and my mother would prepare great meals for everyone.

The women would chat to my mother while she cooked and the men would have good laughs with my dad.

Everyone except me looked forward to meeting these people visiting us.

Couples would come by and enjoy the day with drinks and meals and good conversations while i could not bare to be around people for a long period.

I did not like being around people, I was always shy, and my dad would call me many times to come out to the living room to greet our visitors.

I took forever to get out of my room just to say, ''hello,'' was such an issue for me.

My room was my cover up place to be at.

Talking to people and making simple conversations was my biggest obstacle. I did not know how to start a conversation.

Now when I look at how I have become it so hard to believe that my new life has really changed me around.

I gained confidence and feel so good to mingle with people.

  • I was not outspoken person.

  • How can I be confident and outspoken?

  • Interesting isn't it?

My parents often praised me with great comments but my shyness lived with me for a long time.

I was never sure of what to say or when to say it.

I feared the silence I developed over time and had to get away from that being.

Small talk for me was like lifting a load of baggage and that was my biggest fear of how would I get over it.

At functions I would be silent and watch everyone else having a good time.

While I sat there and thought of how to get out there and do the same. A simple introduction would make me hide away.

I have been to a few job interviews and may be my nervousness caused me not to get those jobs. On each interview I would be nervous, and was not sure of how to approach the answers with great confidence.

I did not have much time dating. When I did go on a date even that did not go as well. My small talk was always stunned and I always felt so speechless.

People have their own conversation skills and not everyone behaves in the same way.

I felt like an introvert and communication with strangers didn't go well by myself.

All I could think of was when will that moment be over.

The small talks can be so simple and yet for me it felt so difficult.

  • How can you find small talk easy and with anyone?

A great way to start small is to try find what you have in common before you get to bigger talks.

When meeting a person for the first time , it is normal to feel like you don't have anything to say, but don't turn them off.

A quick ‘‘hello,’’ and a brief conversation about the weather can make you feel good, and from there you can keep talking with great concern.

Someone has to get going with conversation standing there and looking at each other or around you in silence is not going to keep you together.

You can keep the conversations flowing freely and naturally.

Don't get uptight and look around to leave . If you do that then this situation will be an ongoing performance.

Be able to listen to what the other person has to say and communicate with a free mind.

If you pick out the conversations and show interest in what the person has mentioned, you are getting somewhere.

You will notice if the other person is feeling uncomfortable while talking to you. Their body language shows you such attention. Focus on what is approachable.

  • Change the conversation and make amends.

Some people enjoy simple conversations about families or careers. Topics of debate can be argumentative, you don't want to go there and dig up some debate that would ruin your small talk.

  • Be sensible, talk about gardening, children or about your hair.

The small talk requires eye contact and engaging in conversation truly with proper focus to keep that conversation going and interesting, is a way to go ahead.

Sometimes nonverbal communications shows you great interest in small talk.

Don't throw a tantrum and snap at the individual. Avoid misjudgment, and don't rush into conclusions. Also, don't get your mind overworked to make a point.

Open up and be confident with yourself. When you learn more about the other person you know what to talk about.

Sometimes argumentative topics can be a successful way to reach the other in good talks.

Strangers can open your mind to new avenues and valuable talks.

It is an enjoyable experience to meet new people.

Conversations become interesting when you make it.

For example:

Learn about the new culture of the stranger and slowly become friends with a broadened communication of the subject.

Know what is going on around the world and you can have something to talk about.

The main problem about small talk, is you got to know when to open your mouth to be conversational. Don't interrupt or be talkative to the point where the person gets annoyed with you.

Pouring out what you have on mind won't always impress that stranger and that can drive you away very fast.

Always share simple and easy conversations. Don't share any important information basic conversations are better than giving away our bank balance or other personal information to a stranger. You should know better.

A little bit of small talk each time allows you for more conversation each time you meet up.

You can come out with a new conversation daily, like talk about what you did for the day, your planned schedules, and of how you spent your day.

  • This can be a helpful way to get to know more people.

Keep in mind that people don't always agree with your every word.

It is not always easy to strengthen your social skills with a stranger. You can feel out of place and alone.

Some people enjoy talking to others and others find it hard to get out of their shells

You won't always want to share secrets with strangers but easy talks can be made with a great mind.

Don't over step boundaries and feel secure when you speak to people.

Respect each other’s secret and personal information and talk with a smile. Once you get to know that person they won't be a stranger to you. Maybe, a good your friendship can be.

Some people can ask a lot of questions, and some people can be most silent. The quick chats opens your heart and mind to new experiences.

I learned that after marriage and my shyness vanished after meeting many people I gained my self- confidence and moved on.

When I watched others go on and on in their conversations, I felt alone and distant from them. My new life gave to me. A way to open up and now I am most pleased with the way I handle my communication skills.

I make small talk with friendly people easily and it is a helpful way to manage my daily time. Small talk is easy for me and very interesting with the different people I meet on a daily basis.

I used to be concerned to talk to people, to start a simple conversation it was like a huge issue for me. Once I realized this is my life and no one is going to make it any better, I took full control of my life.

  • If I don't do anything for me then who would?

My courage grew back fast and allowed me to speak up. Whenever I felt like it and since then I have gained more confidence in myself.

The best starter conversations are as follows:

''It is a lovely sunny day.''

''How are you.''

''I have a great start to the day...''

''I have lots to do today.''

''I am going out for the day...''

''I like warm weather.''

''I have a new blender,..''

''I am taking my dog for a walk...''

''I spend time cleaning all day....''

''I like traveling...''

''I like eating chocolates...''

Compliment someone on their good deed, or on their cooking. Take conversations from there it can make a difference to you for small talk.

Be yourself and stop hiding and turning others away. social life is the best way to feel good about yourself.

There comes a time when you feel that you can do it, and you got to try to feel this way. If you don’t try you will never know.

People make mistakes all the time and the good thing about mistakes you can learn from it in the same way you can learn from small talks.

If you smile and meet different people you can catch their surprises and feel surprised yourself.

  • A good sense of humor makes many friends.

How to Make Small Talk

Small Talk can be a problem for many individuals

Do you find Making Small Talk is a Problem for you with Anyone?

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Love yourself

I enjoy sharing my mind with all my readers
I enjoy sharing my mind with all my readers | Source

© 2014 Devika Primić

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    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Good hub Devika. I too am shy around people I don't know and so even small talk is difficult. You offer some useful tips for starting conversations.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      There was a time when I was very shy and could not do this. Owing my own business helped me greatly, as did teaching school. Now I can talk to anyone. :)

    • CyberShelley profile image

      Shelley Watson 2 years ago

      Lovely hub DDE, unfortunately I am not great with small talk and find it difficult. I am a great listener so I've been told and once someone starts a conversation I am off. Up, useful and interesting.

    • Thelma Alberts profile image

      Thelma Alberts 2 years ago from Germany

      Great advices. I can relate to your situation. I was a shy kid and it was very difficult to overcome shyness at that time of my childhood. Living in Germany for more than half of my life has taught me to overcome shyness. I had to speak up. Thanks for sharing. Voted up and more;-)

    • dis-cover profile image

      Nikolic Predrag 2 years ago from Serbia, Belgrade

      Excellent hub Devika. You offer a lot of useful advices here. Voted up, very useful.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 2 years ago from USA

      I tend to be quite shy to but try to force myself to ask questions and get the other person sharing.

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 2 years ago from Wales

      Another brilliant share from you Devika;voted up and shared. So interesting and keep them coming.

      Eddy.

    • grand old lady profile image

      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 2 years ago from Philippines

      My daughter says I lack the art of small talk. Instead, when I meet someone for the first time, I attack with a lot of personal, intrusive questions. I guess that's the journalist in me. But my daughter and my husband are really good at polite, small talk that makes people feel comfortable and not like their life is getting under a microscope. I plan to write all your topics on a small piece of paper and carry it with me everywhere so I can learn the art of small talk.

    • jtrader profile image

      jtrader 2 years ago

      These are good tips. I heard an actor say once that many actors are shy people. It helps us all to have skills like these. Voted up and useful!

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Jodah small talk did make feel very shy and now I am most confident and open minded thank you

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi billybuc thank you for sharing your experience

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      CyberShelly thank you very much for the votes and small talk can be a problem for many people making conversations sounds like a drag so nice to read your comments thank you for stopping by

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Thelma ''I had to speak up'' You can't move on in life if you don't speak it counts for better careers and social lives well said thank you

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      dis-cover thank you for the kind comment and for all votes I appreciate your time.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      FlourishAnyway thank you for sharing your mind here small talk can be a problem for the very shy people was was for me.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Eiddwen thank you for the votes up and shared and for sharing your continuous comments

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      grand old lady making small talk can be a problem when you meet someone for the first time and it is not always easy to talk personal questions are out of the question don't even go there simple talk makes better conversations and more friends. thank you for sharing your experience.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      jtrader thank you for the vote up and useful your kind words are always appreciated.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 2 years ago from The Caribbean

      Good suggestions, Devika. Small talk is important in the decision to get or not to get closer to a person.

    • raymondphilippe profile image

      Raymond Philippe 2 years ago from The Netherlands

      Devika, I love how you mix your personal experience with advice. A great combination in my opinion.

    • VioletteRose profile image

      VioletteRose 2 years ago from Chicago

      Thank you so much, so many useful tips here :)

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi MsDora thank ever so kindly

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Thank you raymondphilippe it is how I like to make my point out to my readers

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      VioletteRose thank you for sharing your brief comment.

    • DabbleYou profile image

      DabbleYou 2 years ago

      Nice advice for shy people. :)

    • Cherylann Mollan profile image

      Cherylann Mollan 2 years ago from India

      Nice hub DDE, but I particularly liked what you said about being confident and being outspoken. In some cultures, shyness is appreciated, especially if you're a girl. I faced that and yes, it was a significant reason why engaging in small talk was like a nightmare to me for a long time. Thankfully, I have overcome it now, at least to a large extent. Very helpful hub for those who find small talk to be a challenge. Voted up!

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      DabbleYou thank you

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hello Cherylann Mollan I felt shyness when I was in my teens and after marriage I opened up thank you for the vote up I so appreciate your kind words. thank you.

    • precy anza profile image

      precy anza 2 years ago from San Diego

      I remember myself as I read this. I'm a shy kid too, and I think I just really prefer to be at home, than outside. Even got the nickname "the quite one" with my instructors. :)

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      precy shy people grow out of their shyness or remain that it all depends on how the project themselves when interacting with other people. Thank you for stopping by.

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 2 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      Great tips and suggestions Devika. Being able to converse with others is much needed in these times.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi rajan thank you very much for commenting.

    • Sherry Hewins profile image

      Sherry Hewins 2 years ago from Sierra Foothills, CA

      I hate small talk. I wish I was better at it. Thanks for the ideas.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Ho Sherry thank you kindly for stopping by

    • Harishprasad profile image

      Harish Mamgain 2 years ago from India

      Devika, I was also very shy in my childhood but reading a lot of literature made me confident and all fear vanished from my mind. Now it is very easy for me to open up with anybody known or stranger. I think our smile is very contagious and words spoken with a duchenne smile leaves a great effect on the listener. The tips suggested by you are wonderful. Voted up.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Harishprasad My shyness somehow vanished over the years my experiences allowed for that and I so much love my life the way it is confident, happy and outspoken. Thank you for the vote up.

    • profile image

      Edward Green 2 years ago

      Yes, exactly, smiling opens doors! Mind if I share the article with my training group over at https://www.smalltalkprofessional.com/ ?

      Thanks!

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Edward Green thank yo kindly for stopping by.

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