How to Raise Children as a Strict Mother

Called by names like mama, mommy, big mama, little mama, ma and mom all of these amazing women want the same thing for their kids: for their kids to grow up safe, happy and loved and eventually become responsible adults.

The way these mommies pave the way for their children to become responsible adults is as varied as the names they are called.These moms on a mission generally blaze their own trail, some go it carefree and friendly, while others opt for a more cautious and concerned approach.

One way to raise a child that the world is to be strict mother, but only if you do it the right way. Doing it the wrong way might not only make the world cringe, but your kid just might crumble in the process.

So follow the proven strategies in this hub and learn how to be the right kind of strict mother and raise your kids the right way.

Hub author's definition of a Strict Mom:

A strict mom is loving, yet often is characterized as an inflexible disciplinarian. She provides guidance and instruction to her children, makes the rules of the house, ensures they are understood and enforces them with loving kindness. She is judge and juror.

If you ask any one of my kids, "Who run this?"

They'd all we chime in and say, "Mommy's got this."

As a survivor of two teenagers who are now far away at-college students (Michael 22 years old studying computer technology and Maya 20 pre-med) and still holding the esteemed job of mommy- in- training of two fourteen year old twin girls, I know the fear and uncertainty you face about raising your kids.

Who knew parenting could and would be so hard?

Well, our moms did but they wanted to be grandparents so they kept quiet and so will we.

One big reason why all moms should be strict is peer pressure.

Peer pressure can lead to violence, criminal activity, bullying, gang membership, teen pregnancy, drugs and even might cause your child to drop out of school.

Peer pressure is bad.

Kids succumb to it because like us, they desire to fit in but they don’t have all the experience like we have. They don't know better yet. It's up to us to teach and show them the way, the right way forward. And as parents we know that sometimes “fitting in” can and will leave you out especially you fit in with the wrong crowd.

Here’s an early preview to what’s coming; build your child’s self-esteem.

A child with high self-esteem performs better in life than a child with low self-esteem and will most likely say, “No” to peer pressure than a child with low self-esteem.

If you want to be a good strict mom then do the following and you’ll raise kids that you’ll be proud to say are yours.

Have Rules

• Write "The Rules" with clear goals in mind - i.e. Johnny will be a good boy in school because that will lead to Johnny being a good citizen, Johnny will not steal because stealing is a crimes and criminals get punished and go to jail.
• Make sure "The Rules" are clear
• Explain why “The Rule” Is The Rule
• Make Sure the Rules Are Understood
• Reinforce “The Rules”
• Forgive “The Rules” if you are wrong – yes, you will be wrong sometimes – admit it, forgive the fault and move on – your kid will not only love you, but respect you too

Set Expectations

• Set Realistic Expectations – when Johnny is old enough to do a chore – teach it to him but don’t expect a masterpiece too early in the process
• If you expect good grades make sure they are in line with your child’s capabilities or ramp your child up to perform in that way i.e. tutors, extra help from you

Build Up Your Kids Self Esteem

• Love your kid no matter what – divorce his dad so what, looks like Uncle Harry who you abhor so what, reminds you of a moment you want to forget – love your kid and love them big and boldly
• Value your kid’s opinion even if you disagree – listen intently and if you disagree, say so and why
• Always tout your kid’s good work – let the world know that your kid is awesome and make sure your kid sees you – you’ll be surprised how your kid will live up to that Rock Star Status
• Teach your kid the “Can Do” attitude by teaching them to dream big and believe bigger
• Be the loudest cheerleader at your kids games, events, etc – just embarrass the heck out of them

Check Your Kid’s Progress Always

• Let your kid know that "Big Mother" is always watching
• Be the warm shadow behind your kids work, world and ways
• The only way to know how your kid is doing is to watch – you are “The Watcher”
• Talk to teachers, neighbors, friends, family, nannies etc about your kid – know how they are doing always

Be the Adult You Want Your Kid to Be

• Even if you weren’t bright, act bright – your kid won’t know until they are older
• Be responsible
• Keep your word
• Only make promises you can keep - or use words like "try, maybe, we will see, hopefully"
• Be courtesy
• Live the way you want your child to live
• Your message should always match your method
• Your words must model your work

Want to raise kids that will embarrass you? Then do the following and seek cover;

• Let your kid do whatever he/she wants
• Take the blame for your child’s mistakes
• Don’t allow your child to make a mistake
• Allow your children to talk back, scream at you or call you names
• Believe your child never does anything wrong
• Make undeserved apologies for your kid
• Look the other way when you know your child has done or is doing wrong

• Make rules too complicated
• Make a threat that you cannot or will not deliver
• Favor one child over another
• Not allow your kids to have a social life or invite their friends over
• Nag or whine
• Be friends with their kids while their kids – be a parent, that’s your role
• Talk down to your child or call them names like loser or say things like, “You can’t do anything right. I hate you. When will you ever learn?”
• Be unapproachable

They change – little Chrissy will change. Today she will love you, tomorrow she might hate you. Get over it. It’s not about you. It’s called coming of age. Tip: Always remember you were THAT age before.

They will know better when they know better. –Practicing tough love, throwing down discipline is sometimes a bitter pill, but when you do it consistently they’ll respect you for it. Don’t look for the results or your eyes will grow tired.

If you parent the right way – they will always love you. Forget what they say when they say, “I hate you. You don’t care about me.” It will feel like a gut punch but remember this tip: You will always be their first love. Who forgets their first love?

I probably don't need to use my MBA from the University of Chicago to tell you but moms are leaders and strict moms are staunch leaders.

Staunch leaders are;

• fearless
• do it for the cause despite the low salary, lack of acclaim and recognition
• keep ridiculous hours 24 hours 7 days a week
• are in it to win

Yes, as moms, we are our children’s first leaders, be a loving leader. One of the things my mom always did was to what I call today is “game me up.” She prepared me for the real world by having boundaries, playing the role she was given and expecting me to play mine. She allowed me to fall, get back up and encouraged me to try again, all the while believing that I could do it. When I look back on it, my mom has passed on now; I realize that she was a loving leader. She led me right into this wonderful and beautiful life where I get to find and do the work love and have people pay me for it. I also get to be loved by a man that respects and loves me fully. And the most precious gift she gave me was a roadmap of how to be a loving leader for my kids. Strict mom or loving leader, call it what you may, but whatever you do, do it for love.

Indeed strict moms are leaders, go out there and lead our future leaders into the bright futures that await them.

Let's face it; With you in charge, we can't lose. The world awaits your child.