- Family and Parenting
How to Raise Happy and Peaceful Kids
Happy and Peaceful Kids
To learn the best way to raise infants you can get either of these books, The Continuum Concept or The Baby Book , The first book is by a psychologist that stayed with a stone-age tribe for 2 years.
The second one is by an M.D., his wife (an R.N.) and their 2 sons (all MDs). It talks about baby wearing and attachment parenting. It says that something spoils if you put it on the shelf and forget about it.
The idea behind these books is that infants should be held all the time until they can creep (abdomen on floor) and crawl. Also the infant should sleep with the parents. Infants brought up this way rarely cry. They are very peaceful and happy and very mature for their age. In the first book everyone bringing up children in the Yequana village had been brought up this way.
I mention this because infants are very in touch with feelings and they can feel what the person holding them is feeling. The basic idea of holding is that is the only way that the baby or infant can feel loved. So the happier and more peaceful you are, the more the baby will feel this way. The more upset that you are, the more of that the baby will feel.
A popular saying that affects relationships is "misery loves company." So to raise happy and peaceful kids it is important for you to work on your happiness and peace of mind. You can do something like yoga or meditation. It is easy to understand pre-teens. Kids want to feel loved and love to have fun.
The more of this that kids can feel, the happier and more peaceful they can become. If you can understand this and remember this then you can get along great with your kids. All this other stuff that is important to adults is not important to them. When kids are not having fun and bored, they can create lots of trouble.
Two popular movies are Mary Popkins and The Sound of Music . In these movies the nanny has lots of fun with the kids that they are taking care of. In both of these movies the kids become more happy and peaceful. There is a more recent one called Nanny McPhee. In this movie the kids are awful and Nanny McPhee is very ugly looking. But as the kids become happier, the nanny starts to look better and better. Her face reflects how the kids feel.
Nanny McPhee is played by Emma Thompson who has won 2 Oscars-- one for best actress. She was also in 2 Harry Potter movies. There is now a sequel to the above movie called Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang . These 2 links are previews of the movies. This sequel also has in it Maggie Gyllenhaal, who was nominated for an Oscar. This movie is also called Nanny McPhee Returns (see below). This preview looks great.
Now at one time, you were also a child or kid. This is what you wanted-- to feel loved and to have as much fun as possible. This need is always there no matter how much it gets burried by other things. There is no need to teach them all the ideas in your head. They have no need for that. At around age 8, my mother would bring my brother and I to a library every 3 weeks. We would each leave with a bunch of books. We learned what we wanted to learn about and it was fun.
Children percieve time differently than adults. They are more in the present and feel that what is happening now, will happen forever. So for them it is more important to make the feel good now. A child cannot just think that this condition is for a short time and will soon be over. Also they can always be right because we have no guarantee that we will be alive tomorrow.
In the first book mentioned, The Continuum Concept , there was a story told to show the difference between the American adults there and the adults in the tribe. They had to carry canoes through the jungle and it was very hard work. The Americans were very stressed out doing this. The people in the tribe were doing the very same work but they were having lots of fun and joking around while doing it. Dr Wayne Dyer says that there is no such thing as stress-- only stressful thoughts.
Yesterday a mother's little girl was sitting on the ground crying. The mother said to me that the girl was not crying because she fell down but because she could not get her way. But to me, this girl was crying because her heart was hurting. When I watch her and her brother, she never cries. They are a delight to be around. There is a saying that people only use 10% of their brain. I also feel that most people only use 10% of their heart. Kahlil Gibran says:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
It is much harder for a child to be happy if they have autism or if they die. Make sure to see my articles, Cure, Reverse or Recover from Autism.
Children learn by imitation not by what you tell them. So if you want your children to be happy, then you should be happy. There is a saying-- "Take care of yourself so you can take care of others." If you are nice to your kids and do not yell at them or hit them, then they will not yell at or hit you. Just like the bible says "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
Some parents are rich but do not take care of the emotional needs of their children. The word for this is affluenza. They combine the words affluence (being wealthy) and influenza. Being a parent is as simple as caring about how your children are feeling. Children are affected more by love than adults are. It is extremely important to them.