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How to handle the temper tantrums of your child?
I was in a mall when I heard the screaming voice of a child. I turned to look and I saw a child rolling in the floor of a toy shop. He was screeching and demanding a toy that caught his fancy. His parents yelled right back at him which made his yelling even louder. I don’t know what happened afterwards as I moved away from the place. It was a classic example of child temper tantrums in public!
What are child temper tantrums?
Your child acts unreasonably and wants to grab your attention by a nerve jarring screech which sets your teeth on edge. The tantrums could involve rolling on the floor, hitting out and even biting. You always want to yell back as you feel it is the only way to control your child. But you will be surprised when you see a renewed and more energetic ear shattering screaming.
You are an adult aren’t you?
Are you perfect in controlling your emotions?
What do you do when something you do not like happens?
You stomp away from the place, pull down your lips, frown irritably and generally make your anger displayed to the person who rubbed you the wrong way. If this is the behavior from an adult who knows how to control his emotions, an immature child will be more vociferous in his display of anger and frustration. But he has to be handled with care so that it does not become a habit.
How does a child of two to six years react to a situation he does not like? Your child is so small and immature that he does not know how to control his emotions. He knows only one way of expressing his emotions. He displays it in a telling way by throwing things around, screaming and blaring and generally being a terrifying Denise-like-menace.
When does your child throw temper tantrums?
- When you restrict him very much.
- When he is forced to do something he does not like.
- When you do not pay attention to him he resorts to attention grabbing tantrums.
- When he wants something which catches his fancy and you would not get it for him.
What do you do when your child is in his elements while showing temper tantrums?
You reprimand him and use words that hurt his tender mind. You shout back which aggravates the situation and makes him indulge in even more screaming and crying at the top of his tender voice. This is a very wrong way of dealing with temper tantrums. You should try to pacify him and try to reason with him. Do you think your child will not understand the words you are speaking? You will be surprised to know that your child will react positively to your amiable reaction.
A child’s anger or irritation is very momentary as his tender mind never harbors resentful thoughts about anyone. It is very easy to distract him and he soon forgets about what he was making such a big scene. You can take him outside and the changing scene makes him forget his tantrums in a jiffy.
Do not be a restrictive parent as he will feel his independence being intruded upon. A child is very independent and feels that he is capable of doing things on his own. When you are restrictive he feels frustrated and lets off his steam by opening his vocal chords. ‘Don’t do this’, don’t do that’ such words make him irritated no end.
Sometimes when the temper tantrums get out of control, you should choose to ignore it. He will resort to more shows of tantrums, but when he finds it not bothering you he will calm down immediately. He is after all a child and so has innocence on his side.
You should give a long leash to your child to make him feel independent. You should also be a liberal parent who gets him the best a child of his age will yearn for. You should never be an unreasonably lavish parent by showing off your buying capacity and getting him whatever he demands.
Do you know that your child is a good imitator? He enjoys copying whatever you do. If you are a person prone to yelling and shouting he will try to imitate you. So you should watch your behavior and set an example to your child. You should also explain to him why you are denying him what he demands.
‘Too much chocolate can harm your teeth’.
‘If you climb up the window you might hurt yourself if you fall’
Such explanations when said convincingly and pleasantly can pacify your child. Don’t be punishing as if he had committed a grave crime. Get down to his level and show that you are friend who will listen and that you are not a monster who always retaliates in a punitive way.
© 2013 mathira