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I Will Always Seek Her Approval

Updated on May 9, 2011

Who do you seek approval from?

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Do You Approve?

I’ve always heard that a person who seeks approval from everyone in their life is just a big chicken and is too afraid to live their life for themselves. From time to time, I am this person…to a degree. While I don’t ask for advice from everyone who has ever known me, I am guilty of bugging a select group of people when I can’t seem to decide for myself. Yet, when it comes to big decisions, there is only one person who I must have (or would greatly like to have) their approval before making the final call--my mom.

From an early age, we are told to run everything by our parents. In my house, the final decision always came down to my mom. If the house needed to have repairs done, my mom would be the person to decide which ones should get attention first and who would be called to do the work. When report card time rolled around, I never worried about what my dad would say, just my mom. In order for me to feel proud of myself, I needed to know my mom was proud of me first. For the longest time, my mom held all of the cards. It was so unhealthy.

Though my need to have her approval has diminished a bit in the past few years, I know I will never truly be able to shake the need. There are days when I want to be five again and leave all of the hard decisions up to my mom. When I’m about to enter a situation that I’m not totally comfortable with, a part of me wishes she would jump out of the bushes and tell me to stop in my tracks, to turn around and to get into bed. I want her to show me the flaws in my plan so I can fix them and feel like we’re working towards the same goal again. Yet, as her views on how my life should be lived are contrary to how I want to/am actually living it and I’m okay with that, I obviously have come a long way.

In general, I believe that even people who say they seek approval from no one seek approval from someone. Just the admission that they seek no such approval is in a sense asking for approval of this no approval policy. We all need to be reminded from time to time that we’re on the right track. It’s not a sign of weakness. In truth, I believe it to be proof of strength of character. In short, people who are too into themselves to hear the words of another are to be pitied as much as someone who can’t last a day without knowing everyone is pleased with them. If it’s any consolation, I approve of your need for approval.


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    • LowellWriter profile image

      L.A. Walsh 8 years ago from Lowell, MA

      Thanks for the comment, B. :o)

    • bcook profile image

      bcook 8 years ago from Where dreams still live

      It's wonderful to know that others have the "mom approved" urge as much as I do. Sure, maybe slightly unhealthy but I had a professor explain this situation in a good way.

      We are born a character in our story, we are not a narrator yet. We can not make any changes while that young.Our caretakers are the narrators. As we age, we develop new narrators- friends, parents, teachers. The goal in life is to become the narrator of your story. This happens when you say "No, I think this is what I am going to do," regardless of what your other narrators think/do. Eventually your narrators become characters and may eventually just belong to a chapter in your story.

    • LowellWriter profile image

      L.A. Walsh 8 years ago from Lowell, MA

      Absolutely, FP! :o)

    • profile image

      Feline Prophet 8 years ago

      Unconsciously we're all seeking someone's approval..who among us is such an island that they don't need the occasional nod of approval from someone they value?

    • LowellWriter profile image

      L.A. Walsh 8 years ago from Lowell, MA

      Thank you, Maggs for your kind words. :o)

      Birte, I'll make those changes now. Thanks! :o)

    • BirteEdwards profile image

      BirteEdwards 8 years ago

      Additional options in your poll could also be 1. myself 2. no one

      Good question to ponder

    • maggs224 profile image

      maggs224 8 years ago from Sunny Spain

      Enjoy your mum and her approval while you can you only get one and I know I miss mine. I love the mother daughter relationships I get to read about on hubpages. I enjoyed your hub and I am sure your mum would approve of this and you

    • LowellWriter profile image

      L.A. Walsh 8 years ago from Lowell, MA

      Thank you both for your comments.

      Scott, I think you should. (hehe)

      Dottie, my mom says that to me all of the time too. :o)

    • Dottie1 profile image

      Dottie1 8 years ago from MA, USA

      Now that my daughter is a confident young lady in college I'm now finding myself occasionally seeking her approval instead of the other way around, haha!

    • puppascott profile image

      puppascott 8 years ago from Michigan (As far as you know...)

      I will give this some thought...If that's alright with you.

      Nice hub.