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I Had to Divorce Some Family Members

Updated on December 11, 2019
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My own personal life experience over the past several years.

When you are fed up

I'm sure at some point of your life, you had to cut off a family member whether it's a distant family member or an immediate family member. They've drained you so much with their negativity, their leeching, and/or their callous attitudes. When you are at your wits end and it's the final straw in dealing with them, then I am here to give you some advice and tips to transition them out of your life because sometimes you have to let them go and focus on yourself and your household. Now, I'm not saying for you to never speak to them again, I'm stating that you have to extricate yourself from them so you can continue on your own positive growth. Let your relative know that they are too pessimistic and you don't need that type of energy around you. So, my first tip to you is to let them know how you are feeling when they spew out their negative thoughts and opinion. Also, let them know that you have to let them go if they are going to continue down the path of self pity. By stating this, they will know for future reference the reason why you have not been as involved with them as you usually were. Sure they may think you are bluffing at first, but like the saying goes "action speaks louder than words".

This brings us to the next tip, you have to stick to your guns and be adamant about not communicating as much and not attending family functions with them since you must keep you distance. They will see that you are serious and meant what you said and hopefully they will not pry and will keep their distance. You may have to ignore phone calls and interacting with them even on social media. I believe at this point they will start to reflect on how they have been acting around you. Maybe this lesson will show them that they need to look into their own life and re examine where their negativity came from and work on themselves too.

Embrace Peace and Positivity Into Your Life

Now that you have your distance and boundaries in place, focus on yourself. Enjoy the positive energy you have and continue to spread the positive energy to whomever wants to receive it. Grow!! Be the great and awesome person everyone knows you are!

One of my favorite quotes on handling negative people comes from Oprah. She has said in one of her episodes of life class that "sometimes you have to divorce your friends and family members. You must set boundaries by saying (I'm paraphrasing) "I will not allow you to treat me this way. When you come to your sense, you can come back into my life". We all should stand by this statement. Do not allow family to treat you terribly or take advantage of your kindness like that! I had to cut off several family members, some I still do not speak with and others have come back to their senses and we have repaired the relationship. If they attempt to act this way again, I have no problem with doing this again and if this happens again, the distance will be longer than the last.

In conclusion, I hope that my tips will provide you with some comfort and provide an easier way to let certain family members know they are becoming toxic to you and you have to temporarily let them go. Work on your own growth, all of us have problems and issues and we deal with it our own way. If they want to have pity on themselves, let them! Life is too short and all that drama is unnecessary. I want and welcome peace!


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