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I May Have Been Born a Twin but Now I Am One of a Kind

Updated on December 1, 2016

Mother

Mother
Mother | Source

Father

Father
Father | Source

'The Twins'

'The Twins'
'The Twins' | Source

The Twins

Sally
Sally | Source
Ann
Ann | Source

Jack & Jill Shoes

We took off the lids from the boxes and parted the thin layers of tissue paper below. The boxes revealed two small pairs of black leather shoes and tucked inside were two red balloons. Printed on the balloons were two small children and above them, were the words, Jack, and Jill.

So enchanted was I with the red balloons that I almost forgot about the shoes, until the following day, when accompanied by our Mother we found ourselves walking out of the house wearing them.

I don’t recall ever being prepared for that momentous day, but the memory of the Jack and Jill school shoes and the balloons are indelibly recorded in my brain, as being my first memory.

What happened prior to that day seems to me, to have been completely erased from my mind.

We walked so trustingly that day, hand in hand with our Mother. It seemed to me that she walked very tall that day and I could sense the pride in her step as she walked with us. It was not long before we found ourselves heading towards the pair of large open gates which seemed to beckon us forward and then we were walking through them.

My twin and I, we wore identical bottle green cotton frocks that day, with white Peter Pan collars, short sleeves, and white upturned cuffs. A row of white buttons ran down the front of the dresses. The gathered skirts to just below our knees. A soft, green fabric belt encircled our waist, fastened in the middle with a matching white button. On our feet, we wore the Jack and Jill school shoes and identical down turned white cotton socks. Across the front of each shoe was a bar which ended in a little chrome buckle at the side of each foot. In my mind’s eye, I can still see them and the punched out holes which culminated in a little flowery design on each shoe.

I felt my mother’s grip grow suddenly tighter in my hand, to which my own hand responded, though I did not quite understand why! It seemed to me that Mother was walking a lot faster now! We tried to match our steps to hers. Then we arrived at the bottom of some well worn wide grey steps and behind them stood a beautiful soft red brick Victorian building.

Standing at the top of the stairs was a tall, older looking woman. She smiled at us with such kind eyes and lips. It seemed to me, that she greeted my mother as if she were known to her, just as if she was expecting us! My mother introduced my sister and me to her as ‘the twins’.

Then quite unexpectedly and quite shockingly, we felt Mother release her tight grip on our hands and then she passed us over into the hands of this complete stranger! She turned then and began walking quickly back down the concrete path and not once did she look back at us. Soon she had disappeared from our sight.

We burst into tears. The tears fell unchecked down our little faces. The teacher led us into a vestibule at the top of the stairs. There we saw, stood against the wall, a row of very low white children’s wash basins. Then we were ushered into the back of a large classroom, where row upon row of wooden desks were laid out before us. A vacant double desk stood waiting to receive us, just as if it had anticipated our arrival.

Mrs. Cloete sat us down at our desk. Through our tears, we could see and feel the eyes of lots of children watching us. The teacher handed us some Plasticine with which to play and in a little while we felt the tears and the sobs gradually subside. And so, we settled down to play. We picked up the Plasticine and pulled it this way, kneaded it that way and rolled it between our little fingers. All the while, we tried to shut out the watchful eyes of our classmates, who had turned to witness our noisy arrival.

It was not long before we heard the sound of a large hand bell clanging at the top of the stairs. Over and over, the bell clanged and then we were all lined up and led off in one great long crocodile, to god only knows where!

We walked together, my twin and me, hands clasped tightly together. We passed through a group of watchful, amused and much older children and then I found myself stopped short in my tracks, by the biggest pair of female legs I had ever seen! They signaled to me, yet another reason, to begin crying and so, as should have been predicted, my twin burst into tears.

We were led into the school hall, with what seemed to me, to be, an alarming number of children already assembled there. It was not long before the headmaster indicated to the teacher, that she should remove the ‘crying children’ from the hall, to sit on an outside bench, until they had calmed down’ while the rest of the school continued on with the assembly and the daily prayer!

That first day at school would come back to haunt us for many a year.

In year three, an attempt was made to separate us. Once again, we found ourselves sitting on a bench and in tears outside a classroom. This time, it was our future which was being discussed inside. A passing teacher who we regarded highly, stopped to ask us why we were crying? We explained that there were discussions going on inside the classroom, which would separate us from one another.

Taking both of our hands into hers, she marched us back into the classroom to tell the teachers gathered there, that ‘This is not going to happen, I will not allow 'my darlings' to be separated from one another’.

How she achieved it, I will never know, but no further attempt was ever made to separate us during our stay at the Primary School.

Upon reaching High School, we voluntarily went our own separate ways. It came as a huge relief to me to realize that I could finally go it alone. Primary school was a painful period for me, prolonged and interspersed with ill health and poor sight; there were also long periods where I was unable to attend school at all because of it.

Parents of twins can try to do more to help them discover themselves and their own interests before they go to school so that they don’t develop a reliance or co-dependence on one another as we did.

Twin Separation Anxiety

'The Twins'

The Twins
The Twins | Source

The Good and the Bad

People sometimes say, ‘I wish I were a twin. You are so lucky. It must be so nice to always have someone your own age to play with'.

Imagine always being defined as ‘The Twins’ and forever being compared to your sister or brother. People sometimes assume that this happens more with identical twins but I can assure you, it happens to fraternal twins too. Growing up as a twin can have a huge impact on their independence and also on their individuality.

My sister and I looked different, but a lot of effort was put into making us look the same. Our strong bond made it very difficult for us to have a clear sense of our own self or self-worth as we were growing up.

Unity came with a price and the constant fear of a forced separation weighed very heavy on me.

We were ‘the twins’. It was both good and it was bad.

To Share or Not to Share

People sometimes say:-

Twins should always share!

Correction – Twins should have the right to share but only if it is their wish


Anger

Twins should never get angry towards one another!

Correction - Twins are no different from other people. It should be expected that they will have a range of feelings for one another, just as anyone else does.


On being together

Twins should always want to be together

Correction – Personal space and boundaries should always be dictated by the individual needs of both children and not by others.

Being there for one another

Twins should always want be there for one another!

Correction - Twins should be taught that their own care is just as important as is it to care for their twin. Parents and siblings can and should model this care

Developing at the same pace

Twins develop at the same pace and need the same things!

Correction - Twins are no different from other children. They will develop at their own pace and each child will have their own needs and ambitions.

On being a Twin

Being a twin is everything!

Correction - Being a twin is just part of who we are. It is not the only thing that matters

I know what you are thinking

Twins always know what the other one is thinking!

Correction – Occasionally they do, though, for the most part, their feelings and also their thinking is as unique to them as yours is to you.

Equal treatment for all

Twins should be treated in exactly the same way!

Correction - Parents should treat each child as the unique being that they are. They should be taught to face the world as individuals. Twins do sometimes attract attention but seldom do people take the time to discover the individual people which they are.

Take Photos

  • Take photos of your twins as individuals.
  • Take photos of them wearing different clothes.
  • Take photos of them in different situations or places, both doing different things.
  • Take photos of them with their own friends and even sometimes with just one parent at a time.
  • Try to think of them as Individuals and allow them to have separate time with different members of the family and their own friends and take photos of them with these people.

Choosing Names for Twins


On choosing names for your children!


Give your twins names which make them the unique person or Individuals that they deserve to be.


If you do something with one twin, make an effort to do something different with the other.

Allow them to follow their own paths in life

Happy Twins

Happy twins are the ones who are encouraged to meet their individual goals - even if they began life together and on the same path.

© 2014 Sally Gulbrandsen

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    • sallybea profile image
      Author

      Sally Gulbrandsen 4 months ago from Norfolk

      Martie, thank goodness I put that I was able to put all that behind me a very long time ago. It is lovely to be me, unique and individual, just the way everyone should feel.

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 4 months ago from South Africa

      Hi Sally, this is a very interesting hub about twins. Non-twins seem to romanticize the relationship between twins - in the sense that the fear of being alone is not one of the many fears twins have to cope with. I can just imagine how difficult it must be to develop a healthy self-image, knowing that "I" am actually regarded as "We" - and that "I" should not be "I", but one of "We". Thanks for broadening our perspective on twins.

    • sallybea profile image
      Author

      Sally Gulbrandsen 14 months ago from Norfolk

      aesta1

      I think we are all unique and special in our own way. In my opinion we should treat all twins and triplets etc., as individuals. It is so easy for them to get lost in the mix. Thanks for taking the time to comment.

    • aesta1 profile image

      Mary Norton 14 months ago from Ontario, Canada

      It is interesting to know more about twins and how in our own unaware ways, we've not been helpful to them. I seldom know the names of each of the twins we know. We just call them "the twins". Thanks for stretching my awareness.

    • sallybea profile image
      Author

      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      old albion

      Hello Graham, how nice of you to visit this hub. My take of being a twin is perhaps revealing, but I suspect you have a story of your own to tell!

      Best wishes,

      Sally

    • old albion profile image

      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Sally. What a lovely revealing hub so well paced. A true insiders look at what it is like to be a twin. Spot on.

      Graham.

    • sallybea profile image
      Author

      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      DzyMsLizzy,

      I appreciate your very kind and well considered comment. It was indeed an emotional thing for me to write but was something I needed to write.

      My folks have been deceased for many years. They were an amazing couple, both so hard working and kind and I don't think bringing up six children could have been an easy task for them - especially when they too suffered the trauma of loss, war and leaving their country of birth. I know my mother would have struggled with the thought of leaving her 'twins' behind with a complete stranger and this was never written to make her appear unkind or heartless for that she was not. She certainly had her own demons to deal with as have I had.

      I hope that one day I will write my own story, just as my mother wanted to and was never able to. I certainly have enough material to write at least one:)

      Thank you for the vote up+++ It really means a lot to me that you were able to connect with my story.

      Sally

    • DzyMsLizzy profile image

      Liz Elias 2 years ago from Oakley, CA

      This was a very touching and emotional read. You are very brave for sharing this story, and I applaud your courage in putting it out for everyone to glimpse your private experiences.

      I am sure there are both difficulties as well as rewards in being a twin; just as with other siblings. I come from the other side of the spectrum entirely, for I was an only child. That has its own challenges

      But I have to wonder what happened in your family; I cannot get the image out of my mind; the picture you painted so well, of being left in the hands of strangers by your own mother. It broke my heart, and I cried along with those two little girls.

      You obviously overcame that trauma, and have grown into a capable and independent woman yourself. I applaud you again for that. So many would just crawl into a shell and wither.

      Voted up +++

    • sallybea profile image
      Author

      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      prairieprincess

      I very much appreciate your very kind and well though out comment. I am glad I was able to portray my own view of what it can be like to grow up as a twin. If it makes parents of twins more conscious of the delicate balance between dependence and co-dependence then I will have done my job.

      Thank you,

      Sally.

    • prairieprincess profile image

      Sharilee Swaity 2 years ago from Canada

      Wow, this was beautifully written! I love your stories of your school days. How strange it was to be left in that imposing building, and your Mom never gave you any explanation. It seems that was the way back then: to simply do things and not offer children much of an explanation.

      It is really interesting how being a twin made it hard to be your own person and too dependent on your twin. That makes sense, and it's not something really talked about much, when it comes to twins.

    • sallybea profile image
      Author

      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      Writer Fox

      I am pleased to hear that you found this hub interesting. No, my twin does not write on here. As far as I am aware she has never aspired to do - any writing though it is something I have enjoyed doing from a very early age. I appreciate your stopping by, thank you.

    • Writer Fox profile image

      Writer Fox 2 years ago from the wadi near the little river

      I found it interesting to read about your childhood as a twin and the advice you give to parents of twins. Does your twin write here, too?

    • sallybea profile image
      Author

      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      Sunshine625

      It is always good to hear that twins are being brought up as individuals because this is exactly who they are.

      I very much appreciate your stopping by to comment.

      Thank you,

      Sally

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 2 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Wow, I didn't know where this story was going...I felt so many emotions reading it and was hoping it was going to have a happy ending! Well told...I have twin-step-granddaughters who I always refer to as the M&L, never The Twins. They both have their own personalities and identities and are so much fun!

    • sallybea profile image
      Author

      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      brakel2

      Hello Audrey,

      I am glad that you enjoyed reading this hub. I very much appreciate your well thought out comment. Thank you for the share, Blessing to you.

      Sally

    • brakel2 profile image

      Audrey Selig 2 years ago from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

      Hi Sallybea - What a great hub about life as a twin. I have always heard that twins don't always want to dress alike and want to have a life of their own. It is amazing how you survived being dropped off at that school. I have a vision that your Mother left quickly , as she felt sad and did not want to cry. Your story made me sad at the beginning but so happy that you did so well and began to see your life as separate from your twin. You became independent, and make me proud of your success. You must be happy and proud of this well written amazing hub, Sharing, Blessings, Audrey

    • sallybea profile image
      Author

      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      Suzanne Day

      Cheers! I am glad I was able to uplift you, even if I were not able to raise my glass to you. I am glad you enjoyed the family photos and yes, in spite of everything, I am glad I were born a twin. Thank you so much for the vote up and awesome, it it much appreciated.

      You have a lovely day Suzanne,

      Sally

    • Suzanne Day profile image

      Suzanne Day 2 years ago from Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

      I was almost in tears over the first part of your story (I've had a few glasses of wine). But you were able to uplift me with the rest of it! Particularly liked the family photos - you were blessed to be a twin but I can see why you wanted better knowledge on your parent's behalf. Voted awesome!

    • sallybea profile image
      Author

      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      MarleneB

      Thank you very much. Your comment is much appreciated and I am glad that you felt this hub offered you some good advice about twins and their upbringing.

      Best wishes,

      Sally

    • MarleneB profile image

      Marlene Bertrand 2 years ago from Northern California, USA

      Filled with emotion. Today, I learned a lot about the inner feelings of twins. Your advice about how to raise twins is extremely helpful. I especially learned from your advice about taking photos. Treat twins like individuals. That's the message I received here. Good advice. Very good advice.

    • sallybea profile image
      Author

      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      techygran

      I very much appreciate your well considered comment and especially the part about my writing. This was a particularly difficult article for me to write, I have wanted to do so for what seems like my whole life but I am glad to have done it now.

      Interesting enough I met a mother of twins yesterday who told me that her own twins went through a similar experience. Her twins were parted at school without her or her husbands permission. She was outraged and phoned the school, the upshot being that her twins were re-united and some years later, they voluntarily went their own way when they felt ready. I did not mention this article or that I had written one.

      I love the photos too. Your vote up and awesome and shared is much appreciated.

      Best wishes,

      Sally

    • techygran profile image

      Cynthia 2 years ago from Vancouver Island, Canada

      sallybea, I am very impressed with how you began your story-- there was suspense, other intense feeling, and I particularly liked how you described the unspoken communication that went on with the firm hand grasping and the sudden release. I was engaged throughout. In the conclusion of the hub, the correction of commonly-held beliefs by 'non-twins' provided me with some freshly-minted learning to apply in my relationships with twins I know and meet. And I loved the beautiful family photos! Voted up and awesome, and shared!

    • sallybea profile image
      Author

      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      tobusiness

      How interesting it is for me to hear you perspective on life with twins in the family. You summed it up beautifully, the main thing is that the twins are happy, though I tend to agree - at some time in their lives they will be parted one way or another, whether it be by marriage, moving away or the inevitable we all face. These transition periods are a lot easier to face when the knots have been untied or even loosened a little in order for the twins to grow up independent of each other.

      I very much appreciate your well thought out comment,

      Thank you so much,

      Sally

    • tobusiness profile image

      Jo Alexis-Hagues 2 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

      Wow.. this is a wonderful and very moving article. My grandmother had two sets of twins, I have identical twin nieces, if only I could have read this when the girls were growing up. Having read your article, I think as a family we got some things right, but also much wrong. As children, it was very difficult to tell the girls apart, it got easier as they grew older and developed their own individual personalities, they are now in their late thirties and are still very close, while it's a pleasure seeing them together, part of me wishes that they had chosen separate paths, independent of each other. However, they are happy and that is important.

    • sallybea profile image
      Author

      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      Scott A McCray

      If by writing this article I have been able to create a better understanding of what it can be like to grow up as a twin then I am grateful. Your very kind comment is so much appreciated.

      Thank you,

      Sally

    • profile image

      Scott A McCray 2 years ago

      What a powerful article! With twins in my extended family (nieces, nephews and cousins) I can see every bit of what you describe in their lives! Thank you for a wonderful hub!

    • sallybea profile image
      Author

      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      Elsie Hagley

      It goes without saying that is my view of how I felt to grow up as a twin but nevertheless I am grateful that I have been able to share something which has been on my mind for a very long time. I very much appreciate your comment.

      Thank you.

    • Elsie Hagley profile image

      Elsie Hagley 2 years ago from New Zealand

      What a awesome hub, Loved reading your story, you said many things that I have never thought about being a twin. Would you believe it I always wanted to be a twin, so I could always have a mate that understood me and never hurt me. Thanks for opening my eyes.

    • sallybea profile image
      Author

      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      Wednesday-Elf

      It means a lot to have a comment from someone who has seen the separation anxiety I write about twins first-hand. I really appreciate your comment,

      Thank you

      Sally

    • Wednesday-Elf profile image

      Wednesday-Elf 2 years ago from Savannah, Georgia

      You've given twins everywhere ... and all us non-twins... a better understanding of why it is important to be an individual. In my teenage babysitting years, I became somewhat of an expert at babysitting sets of twins and I've seen some of this separation anxiety first-hand, plus some of the struggles to be a 'person' in their own right. Very well written.

    • sallybea profile image
      Author

      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      JenwithMisty

      You make me smile too - because that is exactly how I feel - thank goodness for your twins, now I know that the reason for my feeling like that - I was just sleeping:)

      Sally

    • JenwithMisty profile image

      Jen withFlash 2 years ago

      Your part about everything before this memory being erased made me giggle because my twins have always told me that they "woke up" when they were 3. Apparently, they were sleeping before that. Thanks for sharing your memories!

    • sallybea profile image
      Author

      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      Colleen Swan

      I doubt that my experience is confined to twins only. I am sure there are many siblings who can relate to having had similar experiences, Co-dependency can be debilitating to live with and I think that we owe it to all of every child to ensure sure that they grow up to feeling confident and able to deal with the world on their own. I appreciate your comment, thank you very much.

      Sally

    • Colleen Swan profile image

      Colleen Swan 2 years ago from County Durham

      Sad and Beautiful. It is an area that people take for granted. I have never given any thought to the implications of having a twin. Your article has given me an insight to think more about this. Voted up

    • sallybea profile image
      Author

      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      Minnetonka Twin

      Thank you, I am grateful that I still have them in spite of moving halfway around the world.

      Sally

    • Minnetonka Twin profile image

      Linda Rogers 2 years ago from Minnesota

      By the way Sally, I forgot to say how darling those photo's are of you and your twin sister. It melts my heart.

    • sallybea profile image
      Author

      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      Minnetonka Twin

      How wonderful that you and your twin celebrate your differences and enjoy your similarities - which is exactly how it should be. Thank you so much for your very kind comments - also for the share on your twin board on Pinterest. I look forward to visiting it.

      I will definitely be visiting it

      Best wishes,

      Sally

    • Minnetonka Twin profile image

      Linda Rogers 2 years ago from Minnesota

      Sally-Excellent article on twins. As a twin, I see many of your views. My twin sister and I never liked getting one cake on our birthday. We would tell mom and dad that we were two people. Laura liked angel food and I preferred white cake. Till this day, I have no desire to eat another angel food cake because that is what stuck in their head.

      As I have gotten older, I have become more and more grateful for the gift of my dear twin sister. I don't even mind that those that don't know me well, have certain myths about twins. Those that truly know sis and I, know we have similarities and differences and celebrate both. I am sharing this all over, including my twin board on Pinterest.

    • sallybea profile image
      Author

      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      MsDora

      A very nice compliment, thank you MsDora, that means a lot to me. Thank you so much.

      Sally

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 2 years ago from The Caribbean

      Sally, this is a very unique article. First the story of the twins is so very well told. Then, your common sense suggestions for dealing with twins puts such an unusual but appealing perspective on the matter. Great article! Yes, you're certainly one of a kind.

    • Iris Draak profile image

      Cristen Iris 2 years ago from Boise, Idaho

      Thank you, Sally. I think you're right. :)

    • sallybea profile image
      Author

      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      Iris Draak, you are a treasure and your writing is terrific - I don't think you will ever feel 'invisible' again:)

    • sallybea profile image
      Author

      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      Phyllis Doyle

      I am glad you enjoyed this read. Comforting it sometimes could be but add to it the fear of separation and it becomes less comfortable.

      Thank you for commenting. It is much appreciated.

    • sallybea profile image
      Author

      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      The Examiner

      Our parents were amazing and we led a carefree lives at home but I was only ever comfortable when I was away from school. Truthfully, I cannot remember anything before that day, it was as if it were the first day of my life. Reflecting on, I do wonder if the teacher did do us a favor - perhaps I would have become the unique individual I should have been much earlier if things had gone the other way. I guess the jury is out on that one.

      Thanks for the up++ share and pin. I appreciate it.

    • Phyllis Doyle profile image

      Phyllis Doyle Burns 2 years ago from High desert of Nevada.

      Not being a twin, it is hard to realize what it is like to always be exactly like someone else. As very young children, it must be comforting to have a twin always near, yet I can understand the need to be independent when the time comes. I really enjoyed reading about childhood with your twin, Sally. Well done.

    • The Examiner-1 profile image

      The Examiner-1 2 years ago

      That was awesome and interesting Sally but I cannot believe that your mother took you to primary school without telling you. As I read it, I thought that you were going to say that she left you with someone and deserted you!

      What they did to you you in that school, - reprimanded for crying? - what type of school was it? Perhaps that teacher who kept you together was your Guardian Angel.

      I voted this up+++, shared and pinned it.

      Kevin

    • Iris Draak profile image

      Cristen Iris 2 years ago from Boise, Idaho

      ...and of course I voted it up, clicked on everything but funny and shared it. :) In fact, I shared it with the person who jump started my "Invisible" article. I know she'll love yours.

    • sallybea profile image
      Author

      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      Iris Draak

      I appreciate your reading and commenting on this Hub. I think the important thing to note that it was written from my perspective alone and not every twin will have the same emotional and co-dependency issues which I had. The aim should be make all children feel unique and special, regardless of whether or not they were born twins.

    • Iris Draak profile image

      Cristen Iris 2 years ago from Boise, Idaho

      Sally, this piece is so poetic and poignant. I found it particularly interesting that though you are not identical twins you were dressed alike and treated as identical. Your perspective is interesting and your points about treating each child individually regardless of whether they were born on the same day or not is well stated and supported. It serves as a good reminder for all of us who have children. Thank you for sharing such a deep story and lesson.

    • sallybea profile image
      Author

      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      DealForALiving

      I am glad you enjoyed reading it.

      Thank you so much

      Sally

    • sallybea profile image
      Author

      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      tillsontitan

      It am sure this is not the experience of all twins. I tried to share my perception of how it was for me. I very much appreciate your very kind comment, also the vote up, useful, awesome and interesting.

    • DealForALiving profile image

      Sam Deal 2 years ago from Earth

      Great hub with a great idea and really insightful. A joy to read~

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 2 years ago from New York

      What a truly amazing hub Sally! More than a glimpse into your childhood, a glimpse into your twinhood. You have certainly opened things up for twins. People do tend to do all the wrong things you've outlined but then you would know from personal experience.

      Voted up, useful, awesome, and interesting.

    • sallybea profile image
      Author

      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      favored

      I appreciate your very kind comment. Thank goodness I know now that I am unique and individual in my own way and I like being who I am.

    • favored profile image

      Fay Favored 2 years ago from USA

      You did a wonderful job in explaining both sides of twin life. I would have loved to have been a twin and to have had them as a mom. After reading your article I can see God knew what he was doing by making only one of me.

      No matter what others may say thinking there are two of you, be assured that your are special and unique all by yourself. There is only one you and that's the way God wanted it.

    • sallybea profile image
      Author

      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      AliciaC

      I am glad that you found this an interesting read. I do hope that it will be useful to parents or even twins.

      My congratulations to you on your HubPages award, it was well deserved.

      Best wishes,

      Sally

    • sallybea profile image
      Author

      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      SANJAY LAKHANPAL

      We certainly do share wonderful childhood memories with all of our brothers and sisters and I had several of those.

      It did seem at the time though that the emotional strings attached to being a twin were very hard to deal with.

      I appreciate your stopping by Sanjay and thank you for your comment.

      Sally

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      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      Faith Reaper,

      I am delighted that you enjoyed this Hub. I am glad too, that I was able to portray my first day at school in the way I saw and it on that day. Perhaps my twin saw it in a completely different way and of course, she must have, for inside we are all the unique people that we are, even if sometimes the outside gets delivered pretty much the same.

      Thank you for the Vote up ++++ tweet, pin, G+ and share

      Blessings to you too,

      Sally

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      Linda Crampton 2 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      This is a lovely hub, Sally. It was very interesting to read. I'm sure that it will be useful to families with twins, too.

    • SANJAY LAKHANPAL profile image

      Sanjay Sharma 2 years ago from Mandi (HP) India

      It was like childhood revisited. We cherish the fond memories of childhood and share them, only with our brothers and sisters, even if we are not twins. Thanks for sharing this nicely written hub.

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

      Oh, Sally, this is such a wonderful, well-written and personal piece here that really had me glued to the page. Thank you for sharing so beautifully about yourself and being a twin. I felt as though I was there with you at that school and feeling what you felt, although I am not a twin and cannot relate to being one. That is just how great your writing is here.

      Then the interesting truths that all need to be mindful of when it comes to twins as each person is just that, a unique and beautiful person all on their own.

      I am blessed in reading this lovely hub here this night. Your photos are delightful.

      Voted up ++++ tweeting, pinning, G+ and sharing

      Blessings and (((Hugs)))

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      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      epbooks

      I think that how twins feel is probably as individual to them as it my experience was to me. A lot depends on their upbringing. I am sometimes amazed at how individuals brought up in the same family have a different perception of their upbringing. I very much appreciate your comment, thank you.

    • epbooks profile image

      Elizabeth Parker 2 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

      I enjoyed this hub as although I do know a few twins, I never asked how they felt to be a twin. Very informative!

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      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      DJ Anderson,

      It was perhaps the most difficult thing one I have had to do yet. I hope will write my book one day, as my mother so wanted to do and never did. I like to think that she at least, would have supported my desire to write this little piece anyway.

      Your comment is much appreciated.

      Thank you.

      Sally

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      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      DDE thank you so much. I don't know if you have ever watched the TVprogram where children are re-united with a twins or family after many years, say in a adoption - yes, unbelievably parents do sometimes give up only one twin! Twins have nine months to grow accustomed to one another in the womb and I think even the surviving twin will always wonder in later years about their sibling, I think that they will experience a feeling of loss or something missing. The emotional pull can sometimes be heartbreaking.

      I am very sorry for your sisters loss, we experienced a similar thing happen in our family.

      It is so lovely to see you here again.

      I really appreciate your very kind comments and the vote up.

      Sally

    • profile image

      DJ Anderson 2 years ago

      Oh, Sally, this hub is wonderful. It does take some courage to step

      out of one's comfort zone to write about personal matters. You have done a splendid job describing how it felt to be a twin, and how changes

      could have been beneficial to both you and your twin.

      The pictures brought this read to life, and I think your twin would approve wholeheartedly.

      Great job, Sally!

      DJ.

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      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Beautiful hub! You have mentioned such interesting facts about twins. My sister had a twin unfortunately the twin sister did live on and had died after birth. Leaving the other on her own and that was hard for the twin sister to be alone. Something not many people understand about twins. You did a superb job here. Voted up,

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      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      Jodah

      I appreciate your saying that. I had to smile a little at the photos of my twin because I noticed something which I had not seen before and that was, that Mum's sewing skills on the Peter Pan collars left a lot to be desired but during all the years I wore those dresses, I was completely unaware of that. Bless my mother, she was one amazing women women.

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      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      aerospacefan

      That is interesting. Twins are evidently becoming far more common now but I have only know two identical ones personally and they ran a merry dance around the teachers at school and with their girlfriends. I am sure you must be innocent of doing things like that! I appreciate your comment, thank you.

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      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      FlourishAnyway

      It was a difficult decision but something I have wanted to do for a longtime. It makes your comment all the more valuable, thank you.

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      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      This was a joy to read Sally. I learnt a lot about twins and you destroyed some of the popular myths. Happy 50th Hub! Well done, voted up. Great photos too. I'm sure your twin will be happy with this.

    • aerospacefan profile image

      John M 2 years ago from Chicago

      I'm a twin (identical) and can vouch for everything you have in this hub. This is a POWERFUL article. I'm voting up!

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 2 years ago from USA

      This is a terrific hub, Sally! I was thinking the same thing as Bill. I like that you invested so much of yourself personally in this and shared with us about your life. This experience makes you all the more special and interesting. I am not a twin, but twins run in my family. My twin cousins sometimes get labeled "the pretty twin," "the smart twin," or "the quiet twin."

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      LOL...it was a 50th hub worth cherishing my friend.

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      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      billybuc - thank you, the wet felting lady is still there but you encouraged her to come out for a little while - so I thought I would, just for this special occasion, my 50th hub - just hope my twin still talks to me:)

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Is this the welt felt lady? I didn't recognize her. :) Sally, I feel like you opened a package and allowed the real you to climb out of that box. What a revelation this article is. Well done my friend. You have moved on, beyond being a craft writer, to being an all-purpose, writer with some serious talent.

      This was a pure joy to read. I hope to see more like this in the future.

      your friend

      bill

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