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Advice for Teenagers | Practical Advice for Padawans, Young Grasshoppers, Teens, and Young Adults.

Updated on August 16, 2012

Listen to the wise men.

Sometimes the only weapon or defense you really have is snitching
Sometimes the only weapon or defense you really have is snitching

Listen to this young grassshopper

Getting older is no fun (okay, it stinks), and I would not recommend it to anyone. In fact, I would avoid it if at all possible. I stepped over a curb the other day and my ankle felt like it had shattered ( well at least for a minute or so). I do not even want to mention how one can hurt his back, shoulder, neck, or arm by simply taking a nap. The only thing that is good about getting older is gaining the wisdom that life mercilessly beats into you. The following is the pearls of wisdom, I would like to impart into teenagers/ those generations that are younger than I am.

  1. When a person says that they are a person of high integrity, honor, and honesty…run away as fast as you can. You might even want to find the nearest exorcist or start screaming the power of Christ compels you. Actions always speak louder than words, and a person, who has to proclaim his virtues, is a wolf in sheep’s clothing, a white devil, a promiscuous politician, or a used car salesman.
  2. Everybody on the planet is screwed up in one way or another. If a person is picking on you, they are even more screwed up than usual. I am currently seeking a PHD in Psychology, and I know what I am talking about. Oh, just so you know, psychologists and psychiatrist are messed up too.
  3. Being a snitch is not necessarily a bad thing. Okay, telling the police officer who just pulled over your dad for speeding, that your dad was actually going 25 miles over the speed limit, not 10, is a bad thing; however, telling a teacher, parent, or an adult that so and so is thinking about killing himself is always a good thing. Again, telling your mom’s friends that she lies about her weight and age, bad. Telling about how your friend is going to try meth, good.
  4. Our parents screwed us up too…it is a tradition. My parents thought nothing of letting me go to a debate tournament in a leisure suit (it was in the 80’s and leisure suits were never cool). I still have nightmares about that suit and my friends love reminding me about the whole incident (especially about the silk shirt with ships on it that completed the ensemble). Also, my parents said terrible things to me, but they were just trying to survive in a fallen or absurd world and did not have time to think of what they were doing.
  5. Everybody is afraid, and they are afraid all of the time. I am personally afraid of sparkling vampires and Justin Bieber but I digress. People are afraid of losing face, looking stupid, or not being cool, so you should realize that you are not alone in your fear and be the brave one in the bunch.
  6. High school is just a small part of your lifetime. You may be the prom king or queen, nerd (a compliment in my book), or jock now, but you will blink your eyes and high school was 10, 20, or 30 years ago.
  7. After the age of 18 or after you graduate from college do not accept a dead end job. Contrary to what people say time is not money. Time is life, and you do not want to waste it with very little money. Going to work and then going home and paying bills, then going back to work again so that you can pay for the place where you pay your bills is a hard life.
  8. Your credit score is very important. I went from no credit, having credit, to having bad credit in a blink of an eye. Do you want to drive a Junker or a Lexus? Do you like flashy phones with lots of fun features or Wal-Mart specials? If you said yes to any of my questions, one should take care of their credit.
  9. Everyone thinks they can handle taking drugs and drinking massive amounts of alcohol. If you think, you are one of those people watch the show called Intervention on cable. These people have destroyed their lives and lives of those around them. Better yet, listen to Ozzie Osborne talk some time.
  10. Love is a magical and great thing, but sometimes wifey has bad breath (or I do). I always tell newlyweds or people who have moved in together that a day will come when you look at your significant other, and you will think to yourself… isn’t it time you go home now. Then you will realize, the sobering truth, that he/she are already home.
  11. Always, and I mean always, be true to yourself. The biggest mistake I have ever made was listening to others tell me what I should do with my life. I ended up with a degree in Human Resources. I sold my soul for business? I believe that most corporations define business ethics as, “Lie, cheat, and steal for the company, not from the company.”

In closing, I wonder if you, dear reader, have any pearls of wisdom that life lovingly beat into you, that you would like to impart to the younger generation or even to an old man like myself?


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