Mother's Day Memory

We had no idea that 2012 would be the last year that mom would be with us for Mother’s Day, and I was not planning anything, any different, than any other year; I would make her a card on my computer and sign it from the family, my husband would shop for her favorite cologne, and we would have Chinese food delivered for dinner. It was basically the same routine every year, until last year.

Last year mom went to my brother’s for the first time on Mother's Day, to have a special brunch; and my husband took my son and me out to lunch while mom was away. This was the first Mother’s Day that mom split the day between my brother and me. Little did we know it was to be her last Mother’s Day with us.

It was truly a gift that God gave to my brother; God allowed him to have time with mom on her special day. To make memories that he’ll cherish forever, photos taken with her that he wouldn’t have otherwise had, and my brother will always know that he made our mom’s last Mother’s Day very special for her.

I have to say that I don’t even feel like celebrating this first Mother’s Day without mom. There’s no card to make, no cologne to buy and I don’t feel like eating Chinese food sitting at the table looking at mom’s empty chair. I would just as soon sit in my room and get through the day by myself. But what if this was my last Mother’s Day? Is that the lasting memory that I want my son to have of me every year on Mother’s Day? No, it’s not!

Mother’s Day isn’t just about Mom, it’s about the children too, and the memories that they have of honoring their Mom, of making her day special, and letting her know how much she means to them. Those are the memories that are going to get them through all the Mother’s Days when Mom is no longer with them. How could I hibernate in my room and take away an opportunity to make a beautiful memory for my son?

Even though it was pretty much always the same every year, it was nonetheless how we celebrated Mother’s Day. My mom would have thought there was something wrong if I would have given her a store bought card, and she wouldn’t have smelled of her favorite scent, Jean Nate' if we wouldn’t have given her cologne, and the Chinese food delivered in, was the best Chinese food that we got to have all year long. It was actually a nice day to look forward to, mom always knew what to expect.

On this first Mother’s Day without mom, I have to find a balance between being a daughter who is mourning the loss of her mom, and being a mom who needs to be able to allow her son to celebrate her, and make a beautiful memory for him to always have. So I think I should let him plan the day, and we’ll get each other through, because he misses my mom (His Grandma) as much as I do.

May your Mother’s Day be filled with beautiful memory making moments.

God Bless!

We got through the first Mother’s Day without mom. My son planned the day. Like me, he didn’t want to eat dinner at home and look at mom’s empty chair, so we went out to eat. The first place we went to had a line of people all the way around the building. We thought we would be missing the lunch rush and beating the dinner rush by going at 2pm, but we were wrong. We went to another restaurant and it was lined up only halfway around the building. We came to the conclusion that it didn’t matter where we went; it was gong to be busy, so we stayed there. It was at that point that I remembered why we always ate Mother’s Day dinner at home.

The line went relatively fast, (Thankfully so, as it was a hundred degrees outside) and before we knew it we were being seated, and our Food server promptly came to our table and greeted us, saying; “Happy Mother’s Day! I’ll be serving you today, my name is Linda.” My husband, son and I just looked at each other and smiled; of all the names our Server could have had, she had the same name as my mom (Linda). There was something about that, it made me feel that we were right where we were supposed to be.

All in all, it was a nice day. I was trying not to spoil the day for my son, but there were moments when I just needed to be able to cry. I think it was the little things that really got to me; like, not making mom a card and not cutting roses for her room. Mom was always so appreciative of everything, and she had a way of making you feel that what you did for her was very special. Mom enjoyed all the little things, but I didn’t realize just how much it meant to me to do those little things for her until now, now that she’s no longer here for me to do things for.

I’m glad that Mother’s Day is behind me now, and I feel that the day was as it should have been. I was able to grieve as a daughter, but I spent more time being a mom, and allowing my son to make it a special day for me. I could tell that it meant a great deal to him to be in charge of doing the little things for me. It felt as if I had passed the baton.