Different Stages of Child's Growth

I recently heard an educationist suggesting a rule to guide children in a very thought provoking way. Though, it sounded very strange but when thought over it and analysed I considered it to be a very proper step.

The educationist suggested that to inculcate right values in a child and help it to grow with a healthy mind, the concerned people, must follow a specific rule. Children, men in the making, must be treated differently according to their age.

The age of a child during the growing phase should be divided into four stages. Every stage has its own tackling process. The divisions are as such:

1) Zero month to three years- Treat the child as God. This is the age when a baby is almost like an Almighty. It must be respected and worshiped as its creator.

2) Four to twelve years- Let the child feel like a king. Give it, all the importance. Make him think one among others. Giving priority does not mean to allow the child to do misdeeds or ignore his disrespectful attitude. Over pampering must be avoided. It’s only to give the child a little value and not simply ignore it for being a kid. As for example- take a little help from the child or involve it in some small decision making or a little preference over the rest and so on.

3) Thirteen to nineteen years- Just treat the child as a slave, physically and mentally, both. Treating like a slave dose not mean that the responsible elders have to be inhuman. The basic thing is to prepare the child mentally and physically strong. Will power to be strengthened. Make the child ready for this world which is full of varied challenges. Pampering at this age, fulfilling all the unjustified demands and tolerating its misbehavior mean a bad man in the making. This needs to be carefully checked and handled properly. If we fail to do so then there is a high probability that the child will not be self dependent rather will be lazy, ill-mannered and self-centered.

Recently, I discussed the condition of considering the teenagers as slave with the present teenagers and 'no' is the one word in which they shot back. The teenagers of this age completely disagree with the thought of considering them as slave. They are not ready to understand the meaning of the word 'slave' that it only represents the strengthening of mind and body by making them do their own work. The teenagers take 'slave' as a derogatory word. They feel 'slave' is similar to bonded labor. Today's teenagers think that all their freedom will be axed and they will be treated in a bad manner.

I feel that the way the teenagers think is only because of the parents' over pampering. The working parents are able to afford a lot and they, as seen in many cases, are never bothered to instill few basic things in their child. Unintentionally, they encourage them to be dictators who intentionally will do nothing on their own but expect everything to be done by others. If this persists without any constraint then I am sorry to say that the day is not far away when the parents will become the slave of their own children.

Here, a huge responsibility is on the parents' shoulder. Doing little things at home, sharing responsibilities with others in the family, accepting liberty within limitation, making no undue demands or be considerate according to one's own family and not try to act by comparing with any other family and much more should be constantly mentioned to the children of any age. Especially parents of the teenagers must talk to them in regular intervals. Teenagers of the present age are extremely exposed to the luxuries and comfort so they are unwilling to shed the available facilities. In such a situation the parents must handle them with care and very softly keep on reminding the basics which may not be instantly effective but in the long run will prove to be quite good and help to build a healthy generation.

4) Twenty and on-wards- Make the child a friend. The moment the child becomes a friend it leads to a healthy environment. During this stage everything under the sky can be discussed without hesitation. The doubts of a child can be clarified openly. This gives an ample opportunity to a child, a bud, who for sure can bloom like a flower with fragrance, i.e. with umpteen good qualities.

The above mentioned stages of a child are quite interesting. I feel if the above written stages of child's growth is followed while guiding a child then it will be of much help. I have started imbibing it and using it upon my ten year old child. My child, is going through the second stage, and believe me, paying him a little more importance brings a big smile on his face., Naturally, he performs his work with extra zeal.

Expecting you all to think over and give it a go, I am confident it will turn out to be a wonderful training process. Make a move.

Caution- To go by the given norms, extreme rigidity must be avoided because we should not forget that every child is a different human being.

At present my son falls under the third stage. He has just stepped into teens but I have come to understand that how difficult it is to handle a teenager. That means coming six years will be very crucial for him as well as for me too. In fact, I have understood teenagers are very hard to tackle. They usually try to avoid work and shun the responsibility on others shoulder, be it on young or aged, and simply love to relax. Whatever is being said to them gets protested because they never try to accept easily the words of their elders. This creates a rift between the two, children and parents and guardians.

I have noticed, my child hardly wants to do work, be it easy or complicated, and especially asks favor from his father. This is not acceptable because the child will never learn to share work-load so it should be confronted, not in an ugly way but try to make the child understand the need of the time.

I wonder when I was in the third stage of my childhood days then how much I have made my parents suffer. It's truly a most difficult stage for every parent to be able to handle his/her child.