One Year Of Fatherhood: My Personal Experience.
No one is ready for fatherhood. It just does not happen that way. I have heard many couples going, "we are not ready to have a child yet." To them I can now surely say, that you will never be ready. It just cannot happen. You can plan for it, but the thing is babies are spontaneity personified. Ultimately you can only plan as you go along.
Now that I look back at it, that unpreparedness is what makes it memorable. No one remembers their morning commute, because it is pretty predictable and let's face it, you were ready when you made your morning commute to work. You prepared everything and drove. It is just a routine, a predictable routine. But this is going to a totally unknown territory, and it was exciting and frightening at the same time.
The most exciting moment for me was when they allowed me to be present in the operation theatre when I heard my baby's first cry and they allowed me to cut the chord myself! It was pretty unnerving. That cry was like a declaration that we are now parents and there is no turning back from this roller coaster ride.
I Have Become More Empathic.
One thing that I have learned from being a father is more empathy. I cannot explain but somehow when my baby is feeling uneasy I just know what it is, to the extent that even my wife gets pretty surprised at my guesses. Many times she was not able to figure out why our daughter is crying and I would find out.
I have never been more empathic in my life than now. If there is one thing fatherhood has done for me it is being a more empathic person. I guess we are bound to have a more heightened sense of empathy after being a parent since the only way to understand a child's discomfort is by reading his/her cry, facial expressions and body language. The more we are exposed to this, the stronger our sense of empathy will become.
Being more empathic also has its benefits especially when my daughter is in a playing mood. It allows me to attune to her feelings and makes me happy to see her happy. Her smile pretty much melts away all my anger and frustrations. Yes my wife uses our daughter as a human shield from time to time when I am angry or frustrated at her and it works like a charm every time!
I Now I Have More Interest In My Job
It is funny how even after the numerous sleepless nights caused by her cry I tend to feel more motivated to work and support my family. I guess it is maternal instincts kicking in. The father provides, that sort of thing. Let's face it, bringing up a child costs money, lots of it. And if you are a responsible person you will work tooth and nail to be able to provide whats best for your child.
I have heard and read about many men running away from their family never to be seen again. This is just too much and hurtful. Yes the pressure to provide is there, all we need to do is go out there and work as hard as possible to provide for our family.
If there is one thing that having a child has taught me it is that there is no such thing as impossible as long as we work hard towards it, with discipline and determination. I am of the belief that everything we want can be achieved all we need to do is give the proper effort.
One of the very best reasons for having children is to be reminded of the incomparable joys of a snow day. -Susan Orlean
It Has Made Me Younger
When was the last time you made funny faces and made incoherent noises from your mouth? I bet you can't remember. for me it is everyday since she was born. Doing all these things to please her and just to make her crack a smile is very therapeutic. I always try to find way to tickle her funny bone. It is always nice to be childlike sometimes.
Being a grown up has its benefits, but we all have this child inside of us that we have never given the chance to express since we grew up, and having a child around allows us to express this side of ours. It removes the cloud from our eyes and makes us feel light hearted. It is a feeling I have not felt in ages. and it is nice to feel it again. I also find that it destroys this ego when we act like a child, as we totally let go of the constraints that the ego has on us.
It is funny, how we dread all the extra hard work we have to do to provide for our family and all the sleepless nights we will be going through when our baby wails and cries but instead of feeling tired and lethargic, here I am feeling younger instead. I guess the pros really makes the cons look minuscule in comparison.
I am Able To Relate To My Parents More
Being parents will automatically make you more understanding of your parents and the hard times they went through when they brought you up. It makes you feel more grateful to have great parents. Especially now that you have become a parent too.
A child no matter how great he/she is to his/her parents, will never understand what they went through to raise him/her until he/she has become a parent as well. There are many times when I wonder what my parents must have gone through when I was my child's age.
My parents had it tougher than me. My father started the business that we now run, and I just admire his dedication as a father and as a businessman. Working under him in the same company he started has been a privilege, and I am thankful for all the lessons he has bestowed upon me for business and life. I have it easy but I assure you I do not take it for granted. I am grateful for the life that I have and how much he has helped me. No one can replace a great father.
Looking To The Future
It has been a very happy and fun filled year, and I can't wait to see my daughter grow slowly but surely. I can't wait to go through life with her in it. Be there through all the different stages of her life.
Yes I am sure there will be problems and bumps along the road, that is life. But I am sure I will look back at it and laugh one day. As for now she is still 1 year old and my baby who I can grab and tickle and wrestle and while listening to her squeals. I might as well enjoy it while it lasts. God knows time flies nowadays and before you know it she will be a teenager who won't even allow me to enter her room.