- Family and Parenting»
Copyright 2009. Pictures are properties of Edwin Lester.
My friend's teenage daughter has started physically fighting/abusing her and my friend will not fight back because she doesn't want child abuse charges. Excuse me? They are charging kids as adults for violent crimes! In this day and time she needs to defend herself regardless if the assailant is her child. This is unacceptable behaviour and if she does not get a handle on it, the problem is going to only get worse. I've been there and done that. When my son was a teenager he began to run with these boys and girls that jumped on their moms and made them cry. I overheard them one day talking about it and they were laughing and thought they were on top on the world. These kids ranged from the ages of 11-13. I could not believe my ears! After hearing more than enough, I told my son to go into the house and told his little friends to get their as-pirations out my yard and not come back. One must have had me confused with his mom because he called me the "B" word and then proceeded to tell me he was going to kick my as-piration. Well, since this was not my child, I just grabbed his little as-piration by his little precious behind through his belt loops and told him that he did not have the balls to pull it off. Well, needless to say he went and told mommy. His mommy came to confront me and possibly kick my behind (smile). Keep in mind this was the same mommy that let her child abuse her.? She began clowning and screaming obscenties, you know, just put on this big show. Now, why would she want to go out like that? I know she had to make a spectacle of herself because if she didn't her son would beat her up once they went home, so I let her state her case. When she finished, I told her what I overheard her son saying and that he was no longer welcomed at my home. Furthermore, I let her know that I do not raise my son to disrespect his elders and I was not going to be disrespected by her child. Well, needless to say....she kept receiving her abuse; but her son did not come back to my home and I forbade my son from having anymore dealings with the boy. A few years passed and my son became rebellious, because by then his classmates where not only beating up their moms; they where taking their money. Therefore, being an impressionable young man, he felt I was punking him because I ran my house with an iron fist. Do not get me wrong, my kids where not neglected. They were clothed and fed as well as loved. I gave them parties. They were allowed to have sleep overs and visit their friends. I just had rules and in my house you followed the rules. Well, in my son's head some things needed to be changed because his so called friends was calling him a punk. Raising kids as both mother and father, sometimes the motherly side would want to bend a few things just to make him happy; but the fatherly side knew best and my rules where not to be broken. Without rules there is no order and with children, especially teenagers, you must have order. With a teenager they want to force their way, you know, when you bend they want you to break. Anyway, one day, he was very agitated and began to fight with his sister. I told them both to calm it down. My daughter went to her room but my son had other things on his mind. He began arguing with me, so when I told him that he was punished and go to his room, he began cursing. NO HE DIDN'T?! I followed him to his room and asked him to repeat what he said and the dumb as-piration did! I had to ask myself: DO I WANT TO GO TO JAIL? This was not a "What would Jesus Do", moment. In the middle of my thought process, he must have said something else that I did not hear, because my daughter ran to the room. (See, my thought process sometimes make me fade to black so I was somewhere else when he was talking.) Then the little as-piration told me to "F" myself. I HEARD THAT! I knew what I had to do. I told my daughter to leave the room and in the middle of me getting rid of her he punched me in the face. I went zoo-loo on that child. Needless to say, after the round was finished some charges nearly got made. He caused many family members from all around to come to my house to rescue him; but he never raised his hand to me again and that incident went down in family history. He now tells his sons the story. It's hard being a single parent simply because you must play the part of both parents. I took my dual role very seriously, because I knew, my children's lives where in my hands. I was not only raising a son in a fatherless home; I was raising a black boy to become a black man in a fatherless home as well as raising two daughters to become strong independent black women and it was up to me to raise them right and I did. Now, let's not get it twisted, although you raise them right does not mean, they will always make the right decisions as adults; but the upbringing always comes back around. Now, as for my friend and other victims of Parent Abuse, I can only tell you my story, it is up to you what you do about it. Kids are killing their parents these days and help is sorely needed. This issue needs to be taken seriously. Although at the time, it was not funny, my story is true. My children and I look back on it and laugh. We are better people from the experience and it's like my son said; He would not have respected me to this day had I turned and walked away...let alone break down and cry. Therefore, in times of adversity you must remember, you are the parent. It's your job to teach your kids right and wrong. A life lived by the sword dies by the sword and we have too many of our children, especially our sons, dying in the streets. The most productive place for your child to be is in the church and their heads in the Bible. You cannot go wrong when you raise your children up on the Word of God because in the times of trouble, love will prevail. At the bottom of the page you will find some useful self help books or better yet you can seek advice through the websites also at the bottom of the page. But, seriously speaking take it to God in prayer, because you need Jesus. GOD BLESS AND GOOD LUCK!!
PFP Copryright 2009
The rise of parent abuse has many parents feeling too ashamed to get the help they need. If your teen is violent, don't minimize the problem. Face it head on.