Signs Your Mom Used to Be "The Cat Lady" (Humour)

The Times, They Are A'Changing
Gone are the days when women stopped having babies at 20 and single women over the age of 25 became known as the neighbourhood "Cat Lady" until they died sad old spinsters.
Today, women are (re)marrying later in life and giving birth to healthy, happy children well into their 40s. So, while some women have a "Cat Lady" period during their life, it doesn't stop them from having a fulfilling family life. But some habits are hard to break.

A Proper Upbringing
The way your Mom trains - er, teaches you how to behave in polite society is a sure giveaway of a reformed Cat Lady. She .....
- sprays you with water when you're naughty;
- shouts, "No claws!!!" when you scratch;
- spreads newspapers on the floors during potty training.
Baby's "Pride"

Classic Toys
Your toys include such timeless treasures as a
- feather on a string;
- mouse on a circular track;
- covered sandbox and slotted shovel;
- a jingle ball and/or;
- cloth toy filled with catnip.
Meticulous Grooming

Affectionate Moments
Mommies who spent time as a Cat Lady have a special way of showing you love. She
- makes a purring noise when she cuddles you;
- calls you "Kitten", "Puss", "Kitty" or some other feline-related derivative;
- rubs you under the chin, behind the ear, or between the eyes as she walks past;
- includes "meow-meh-meow-meow" in her baby-talk to you.
Caught on Film
The photos and videos Mommy displays and shares with friends and family say so much!
- Her Facebook timeline consists primarily of funny cat memes and cute YouTube kitty videos;
- Family photo albums are filled with pictures of her "pride and joy" being cute, funny, or just plain adorable ..... and there's some of you, too;
- Your childhood Christmas photos are of you and "Santa Paws";
- The photos of Mommy's cats on the wall are as big (or bigger) than the photos of you ..... and what's that? Is Kitty wearing the the same outfit as you?!?
Education
Learning is essential, and former Cat Lady Mommies ensure their children learn about all the significant names in history.
- You've seen every episode of Simon's Cat;
- Your library consists of Garfield comics, Orlando adventures, counting books with kitten illustrations, and Richard Scarry's Busytown cats;
- Your invisible friends are named Sylvester, Tom, and Felix.

Fashion Sense
Cat Lady Mommy's have a unique way of bringing a special warmth to your décor and fashion with
- cat-themed bedding and curtains;
- prints and posters of famous cats and cats in trees with inspirational sayings;
- cat designs on clothing and outdoor garments;
- leopard print lampshades and throws;
- place mats, bibs, cups. and bowls with paw-print or mouse motifs.

It's in Writing
And, if there is any doubt that your Mommy used to be (or still is) a Cat Lady, you'll know it instantly if she writes articles about her ideal mate being a cat and comparing you to a cat.
© 2014 Rosa Marchisella

