Signs Your Mom Used to Be "The Cat Lady" (Humour)
The Times, They Are A'Changing
Gone are the days when women stopped having babies at 25 and single women over the age of 30 became known as the neighbourhood "Cat Lady" until they died sad old spinsters.
Today, women are (re)marrying later in life and giving birth to healthy, happy children well into their 40's. So, while some women have a "Cat Lady" period during their life, it doesn't stop them from having a fulfilling family life. But, some habits are hard to break.
A Proper Upbringing
The way your Mom trains - er, teaches you how to behave in polite society is a sure give-away of a reformed Cat Lady. She
- sprays you with water when you're naughty;
- shouts, "No claws!!!" when you scratch;
- spreads newspaper on the floors during potty-training.
Baby's "Pride"
Classic Toys
Your toys include such timeless treasures as a
- feather on a string;
- mouse on a circular track;
- covered sandbox and slotted shovel;
- a jingle ball and/or;
- cloth toy filled with catnip.
Meticulous Grooming
Affectionate Moments
Mommies that spent time as a Cat Lady have a special way of showing you love. She
- makes a purring noise when she cuddles you;
- calls you "Kitten", "Puss", "Kitty" or some other feline-related derivative;
- rubs you under the chin, behind the ear, or between the eyes as she walks past;
- includes "meow-meh-meow-meow" in her baby-talk to you.
Caught on Film
Photos and videos Mommy displays and shares with friends and family say so much ...
- her Facebook timeline is mostly funny cat memes and cute Youtube kitty videos;
- family photo albums are filled with pictures of her "pride and joy" being cute, funny or just plain adorable ... and there's some of you, too;
- your childhood Christmas photos are of you and "Santa Paws";
- the photos of Mommy's cats on the wall are as big (or bigger) than photos of you ... and, WTH? Are they wearing the same outfit as you?!?
Education
Learning is important and former Cat Lady Mommies make sure their children learn about all the important names in history. So,
- you've seen every episode of Simon's Cat;
- Your library consists of Garfield comics, Orlando adventures, counting books with kitten illustrations, and Richard Scary's Busytown cats;
- Your invisible friends are named, Sylvester, Tom and Felix.
Fashion Sense
Cat Lady Mommy's have a unique way of bringing a special warmth to your décor and fashion with
- cat-themed bedding and curtains;
- prints and posters of famous cats and cats in trees with inspirational sayings;
- cat designs on clothing and outdoor garments;
- leopard print lampshades and throws;
- place mats, bibs, cups and bowls with paw-print or mouse motifs.
It's in Writing
And, if there is any doubt that your Mommy used to be (or still is) a Cat Lady, you'll know it instantly if she writes articles about her ideal mate being a cat and comparing you to a cat.
© 2014 Rosa Marchisella