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Teen Parenting and Pregnancy Options

Updated on March 2, 2017

How Do I Tell My Parents I Am Pregnant?

You have started to feel sick in the morning. You notice that you are late in your menstrual cycle. Now you begin to panic. What if I am pregnant? So many thoughts go through your head.

I wanted to go to college. I am only a teenager. I am not ready for a baby. All these thoughts go round and round until they finally settle on the most scary of all.

How on earth am I going to tell my parents? Quickly followed by, do I keep the baby? and what happens if I don't want to?

Teenage Pregnancy
Teenage Pregnancy

Keep Calm

For the first couple of weeks you will try to keep it to yourself just in case you aren't really pregnant.

In fact you will probably try and ignore it hoping the whole thing will go away. And sometimes it does. It could be a false alarm.

But what if it isn't? This is the time to start taking note of your options. The first thing you mustn't do is panic.

It's a fact that if you start to worry about people's reactions, you will get yourself in such a state that you will make yourself ill.

There are many options you can take that will help you make the best choice for you and your baby. Whether you want to go on with the pregnancy or choose to terminate.

Pregnant Girl With Mother
Pregnant Girl With Mother | Source

Talk To Someone

I know its hard. The second I became pregnant the first thought that went through my head was, Oh no, now I have to tell my parents.

And you know what? It was fine, they moaned a little but in the end they loved my son as much as I do.

Of course each and everyone of us is different. You know your parents better than anyone else. If they are kind caring and loving then there won't be anything to worry about.

I understand that the reason why you are scared is not just because they will be shocked, but you feel embarrassed about the whole situation.

You have to remember first and foremost that your parents were young once too. They will understand.

They may get angry to start with, but believe me it won't be anger directed at you. It will be the situation that causes them to act this way. Give it a few minutes and they will calm down, and then they will take over and help you.

If you think that for some reason your parents are not the right people to tell, possibly because you are not close to them, or for other personal reasons then choose another adult to tell first. Let them be the intermediary.

Have you an aunt or uncle? Family friend? Anyone who you trust can be a great help to open the conversation.

If you are still at school choose a nice caring teacher. She or he will want to help.

If you really don't have any adults in your life that you feel will help you, then ask a friends mother to step in and help. They will find the right people to help you.

But just remember. This is the first step you must take before you do anything else. A few angry words are well worth having, compared to months of trying to sort it out on your own.

And don't be surprised if your parents are actually glad you told them. The will be proud of you, and help you as much as you need.

Just remember that mothers are there to protect their children. They love you unconditionally, the only thing you have to worry about is them smothering you with love!

What Do I Say?

Its all very well saying 'Tell your parents'. But what do I say?

Make sure you are not going to be disturbed. Early evening is best after eating your meal and before bedtime. You don't want to be interupted in mid conversation.

Take a deep breath and say the words. Mom I am pregnant or:

Mom, I need to tell you something. I think I am pregnant.

This will be the start of the conversation and all you have to do is answer whatever questions they ask of you.

First step over. Breath a sigh of relief. The worse part is done. Pat yourself on the back. Brave girl.

The one thing you have to remember above all else:

You are not the first to have this happen!

Thousands of girls every year go through the same trauma of telling their parents they are pregnant.

Teenage Pregnancy public domain
Teenage Pregnancy public domain

Pregnancy Testing

By the time you tell your parents, you have probably done a preliminary pregnancy test via a home testing kit.

But to make sure that you are pregnant its a good idea to take another one with your family or friend as witness. It can be a frightening time, and you may have made a mistake with either result.

You can take your first pregnancy test on the first day of your missed period. But its a good idea to do another a couple of weeks later.

You may do these at home, or go to your GP and Family Planning Health clinic.

If your test proves positive then it will be correct. On the other hand if it is negative this may be an indication that it is too early on. Another one should be taken later as stated above.

I Am On My Own, What Should I Do?

If you are completely alone there are various options open to you. Get in touch with your local GP even if you are not registered. They will see you.

Or alternatively go along to your local Family Planning Health clinic. Where you can get advice on how to proceed with your pregnancy and other options.

There is always help out there if you need it. You will also find various options online so you don't have to worry.

public domain
public domain
Don't worry you will be fine.
Don't worry you will be fine.

Pregnancy Options.

You will have three options you can take when finding out you are pregnant.

Just remember, it's better to tell someone early on in your pregnancy as leaving it until later will leave you with less options to choose from.

  • Continue the pregnancy and keep the baby.
  • Continue the pregnancy and place the baby up for adoption.
  • End the pregnancy with a termination.

Your options should be based on family circumstances as well as how you see your future.

  • Will I be able to continue with my future plans if I have the baby?
  • Am I ready to become a mother?
  • What am I hoping to achieve in the next five to ten years?
  • Can I incorporate a baby into my plans?
  • How do I feel about adoption?
  • If I have a termination will I regret it?
  • What does the father of the baby think about the situation?

The babies father should be told and his family consulted too. What does he feel about it?

You should make a time for both families to get together and discuss the options . A baby will affect the whole family not just you. But at the end of the day, it should be your choice over everyone else.

You are the person who is going to have to live with the decision. The Pregnancy Advisory Clinic will be there to help you too. Along with your GP.

So remember, you don't have to do this alone. There are many people out there who are ready and willing to help you.

So take that first step by telling your mom, friend or teacher. And just remember this doesn't have to be a stressful time. With a little patience and help you will find the choice you make will be right for you.

public domain
public domain

Pregnancy Advice Service

For more information about teenage pregnancy and getting help click on the links below.

Pregnancy Advice Service GB

American Pregnancy Association.


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    • Janine Huldie profile image

      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Nell, this is such an important and timely issue, so first off great article telling young girls how to handle thinking they may be pregnant. Second, sharing your own situation was brave and so very wonderful. Glad everything turned out alright for you in the end. Great article and have of course voted and shared all over!!

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

      Hi Janine, thanks so much, yes I remember it well, I was terrified! lol! so I told my brother first, then he told my aunt and then my mother, all in the space of about ten minutes! and of course after the first initial, what? it was fine! thanks for the share etc, nell

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      What a wonderfully loving and gentle way you describe ...the things a young girl will think and question and her varying emotions at a time like this. You would make a fabulous counselor for young women to talk with and discover all options and feel much better and safer during her pregnancy. You have your own personal experience to guide you. Parents are usually shocked first and then I believe secretly happy and excited. babies are a precious gift, no matter when they choose to be!!............UP+++

    • dianetrotter profile image

      G. Diane Nelson Trotter 4 years ago from Fontana

      Nell, some of my students tell me I remind them of their grandparents. I tell the pregnant ones, "Don't invite me to the shower. I pay taxes so I'm already contributing." I let them know that they are in school to learn and they will have the rest of their lives to think about sex. My talks are working a little. For three years in a row I had 3 to 4 pregnant girls in my performing arts class. For the past two years I have had none! Today a mom brought her daughter in and told me how everyone wants to look at her sonograms. She had one with her. I didn't ask to see it.

    • carol7777 profile image

      carol stanley 4 years ago from Arizona

      Though I have boys this was never a problem...well not exactly..YOu handled this very delicate and difficult situation very well with some very sound advice and solutions. Great Hub..Voted UP.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 4 years ago

      This is an issue many teens and their parents face today. I like your straight talk on the issue and the sharing of how to face the pregnancy with positive choices. This will help many to move forward with hope.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

      Thanks teaches, I did try and put myself in the same situation, it was slightly different as I was 18 at the time, but it was still scary, thanks so much, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

      Hi carol, thanks so much, and I am glad you liked it, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

      Hi diane, that's great! it is so important to make sure the kids have an education before they leave school or college. They have many years to have children, but sometimes accidents do happen, so I hope this helped, thanks again for reading, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

      Hi effer, yes I totally agree, I am sure most of their parents are secretly excited! I did do psychology for over four years, and was going to be a counselor but things go in the way, but I could go back to it, thanks as always, nell

    • dianetrotter profile image

      G. Diane Nelson Trotter 4 years ago from Fontana

      Wow Nell! I saw "effer" and wondered where are we going with this. :-)

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

      Hi diane, lol! effer is Paula, she just loves the name effer!

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Nell, That's what i love about your articles, nothing is off limits, you give excellent advice. Thank's for being you. Cheers my friend..

    • tammyswallow profile image

      Tammy 4 years ago from North Carolina

      This is an excellent hub tailored to a very scared teenager. Excellent job and wonderful sensitivity on this topic.

    • abbykorinnelee profile image

      Abigayle Malchow 4 years ago from Ripon Wisconsin

      I was technically a teenage mother and I wish I had had this kind of information for I was scared and only 19 years old living at home. I took home pregnancy tests, took a friend from high school with me to Planned Parenthood and received a positive test. I dropped the paper in the driveway of my house in which my step-father found it and told my mother. She started screaming at me I was a slut and probably didn't know who the father was...I screamed through tears it was my boyfriends or the guy that raped me...she screamed I was a lier because I hadn't told her and I didn't go to the cops. Truth was I didn't have anything I could really tell the cops, had told no one because I was going to try and forget it and now I was pregnant and didn't know what the hell to do. She tried to force abortion on me and I was against it for myself and couldn't morally do it because the baby wasn't asked to be a product of possible rape and I was going to be kicked out at six months pregnant with nowhere to go. What do you do than? I got paperwork for adoption but the possible father wouldn't sign it just in case it was his and so we got married so I wouldn't have to live on the streets with no where to go and a newborn. I was given military insurance, had a place to live and luckily we had two other kids and lived happily for the most part for almost nine years before I divorced him. I have three kids with him and that child is now 13 and knows what the circumstances were and he is okay with it because I was honest. I almost lost him at four months pregnant due to the unnecessary stress of what my parents put me through.

      Many teenagers are like me...scared, lost, confused, alone, morals or values conflict with the parent, younger even than I was. I watched my 17 year old sister go through the same family to help her or support her and living with her abusive boyfriend from lack of choices. We didn't know about government assistance. We lived in Los Angeles County where it was so expensive we didn't know what we would do. I had to even quit my job because it was high risk, I got my car taken away because it was them that were going to have to make the payments, I didn't even have a ride to and from work when I did work because my parents wouldn't help me even with borrowing a car or giving me a ride. I either walked through bad areas at night, alone and pregnant, single and a white female, and a target written on my back or my boss gave me a ride. He even had to buy me food for dinner that is how bad it was.

      It is great to see that instead of sending out messages to these teenage mothers about what a mistake they made, or how different in a bad way their life will be, you have given them some hope and some guidance through different things to do that will help them. Maybe my parents would have reacted differently if I had done things differently. However, even though my life was harder, and I am single and in my thirties raising my four kids and just now finishing at home with my father who is the only one that tried to offer life is wonderful. I am a young mother to my first teenager and I am not a boy...but we are close, have open communication, I relate better to all the teenagers and his friends than most of the parents, I have been there to listen to other kids talk about sex, drugs, other kids, bullies, etc and have actually curbed a lot of them from making bad choices they were going to make. They trust and listen to me one because I am honest with them of the things I went through and what I did but also because I am so much younger and understand. The generation gap isn't so wide. I am definitely not advocating young parenting. Waiting is always best for I am probably a much better and responsible parent to my five year old than I was to my teenager at five years old; no I know I am. But its not the end of the world and good things can come from it but I did grow up fast and had to make it on my own with no one there to help or support or love me through it. I was forced to get married to someone I barely knew. I was forced to confront an issue like rape under undesirable circumstances that by the way, they really still don't believe happened and I gave up trying to tell them my side of the whole decesion making process of how I handled it.

      My mom is closest to the one grandchild she wanted me so badly to get rid of but she still says I shouldn't have had him. I don't think that we should confront this with kids this way. If they can't go to their parents they def should go to any trusted adult. I think this hub is amazing for the content itself and the fact you thought to address it this way. I respect you for that choice. I hope you don't mind me adding in why because of my personal experience myself.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

      Thanks so much Ruby, always glad to see you, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

      Thanks tammy, I just tried to see if from the girls perspective, by getting into 'her' mind I just remembered how it felt to be young pregnant and scared, thanks nell

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

      Hi abby, what an amazing story. The one thing that shines through is your strength of character the whole way through. I was amazed to see what you went through, and how you determinedly gritted your teeth and did it your way, and not only that your attitude to other youngsters today, totally different from your parents, I am so glad you liked this, I did try not to be be judgemental purely because morals have nothing to do with how scared a teen will be. We all make mistakes, and we forget that adults look at teens and say, well she should have known better. its a sad thing that adults forget what its like being a teenage girl or boy. They have'nt got the knowledge or street wise that we have as we get older, I just wish some parents would remember that. Hopefully even if this helps just one teen pregnancy then its been worthwhile writing it, thanks so much, nell

    • ImKarn23 profile image

      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      loved this Nell...

      i'm not going to get into the gory details, and - it didn't happen to me - but - it happened to someone very close to me back in the 70's (perhaps i missed it, but - i didn't notice a time frame here...)

      to say she was a mess is an understatement, but, in the end - she told her parents and they helped her find a doctor to have an abortion..

      she went on in life to be very productive..looks after her elderly parents now - and never had children..

      to each their own, eh..

      i don't know about her, but - i often wonder...

      This is great advice given in a gentle, never-judgmental manner. Your son is lucky to have you - and of course his grandparents adore him!

      life is strange...all we can do is live it the best we can and not judge the other...

      excellent hub...sharing..

    • Funom Makama 3 profile image

      Funom Theophilus Makama 4 years ago from Europe

      Woow so informing and engaging. This hub is fantastic with elaborate views to note. I definitely will vote it up and thanks a lot for the share.

      To Abbykorinnelee..... What a story.... I am indeed happy to know you overcame all the hurdles and now a stronger and more fulfilled mother.

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