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Teen Parenting and Pregnancy Options
How Do I Tell My Parents I Am Pregnant?
You have started to feel sick in the morning. You notice that you are late in your menstrual cycle. Now you begin to panic. What if I am pregnant? So many thoughts go through your head.
I wanted to go to college. I am only a teenager. I am not ready for a baby. All these thoughts go round and round until they finally settle on the most scary of all.
How on earth am I going to tell my parents? Quickly followed by, do I keep the baby? and what happens if I don't want to?
For the first couple of weeks you will try to keep it to yourself just in case you aren't really pregnant.
In fact you will probably try and ignore it hoping the whole thing will go away. And sometimes it does. It could be a false alarm.
But what if it isn't? This is the time to start taking note of your options. The first thing you mustn't do is panic.
It's a fact that if you start to worry about people's reactions, you will get yourself in such a state that you will make yourself ill.
There are many options you can take that will help you make the best choice for you and your baby. Whether you want to go on with the pregnancy or choose to terminate.
Talk To Someone
I know its hard. The second I became pregnant the first thought that went through my head was, Oh no, now I have to tell my parents.
And you know what? It was fine, they moaned a little but in the end they loved my son as much as I do.
Of course each and everyone of us is different. You know your parents better than anyone else. If they are kind caring and loving then there won't be anything to worry about.
I understand that the reason why you are scared is not just because they will be shocked, but you feel embarrassed about the whole situation.
You have to remember first and foremost that your parents were young once too. They will understand.
They may get angry to start with, but believe me it won't be anger directed at you. It will be the situation that causes them to act this way. Give it a few minutes and they will calm down, and then they will take over and help you.
If you think that for some reason your parents are not the right people to tell, possibly because you are not close to them, or for other personal reasons then choose another adult to tell first. Let them be the intermediary.
Have you an aunt or uncle? Family friend? Anyone who you trust can be a great help to open the conversation.
If you are still at school choose a nice caring teacher. She or he will want to help.
If you really don't have any adults in your life that you feel will help you, then ask a friends mother to step in and help. They will find the right people to help you.
But just remember. This is the first step you must take before you do anything else. A few angry words are well worth having, compared to months of trying to sort it out on your own.
And don't be surprised if your parents are actually glad you told them. The will be proud of you, and help you as much as you need.
Just remember that mothers are there to protect their children. They love you unconditionally, the only thing you have to worry about is them smothering you with love!
What Do I Say?
Its all very well saying 'Tell your parents'. But what do I say?
Make sure you are not going to be disturbed. Early evening is best after eating your meal and before bedtime. You don't want to be interupted in mid conversation.
Take a deep breath and say the words. Mom I am pregnant or:
Mom, I need to tell you something. I think I am pregnant.
This will be the start of the conversation and all you have to do is answer whatever questions they ask of you.
First step over. Breath a sigh of relief. The worse part is done. Pat yourself on the back. Brave girl.
The one thing you have to remember above all else:
You are not the first to have this happen!
Thousands of girls every year go through the same trauma of telling their parents they are pregnant.
Buy Pregnancy Tests from Amazon
By the time you tell your parents, you have probably done a preliminary pregnancy test via a home testing kit.
But to make sure that you are pregnant its a good idea to take another one with your family or friend as witness. It can be a frightening time, and you may have made a mistake with either result.
You can take your first pregnancy test on the first day of your missed period. But its a good idea to do another a couple of weeks later.
You may do these at home, or go to your GP and Family Planning Health clinic.
If your test proves positive then it will be correct. On the other hand if it is negative this may be an indication that it is too early on. Another one should be taken later as stated above.
I Am On My Own, What Should I Do?
If you are completely alone there are various options open to you. Get in touch with your local GP even if you are not registered. They will see you.
Or alternatively go along to your local Family Planning Health clinic. Where you can get advice on how to proceed with your pregnancy and other options.
There is always help out there if you need it. You will also find various options online so you don't have to worry.
You will have three options you can take when finding out you are pregnant.
Just remember, it's better to tell someone early on in your pregnancy as leaving it until later will leave you with less options to choose from.
- Continue the pregnancy and keep the baby.
- Continue the pregnancy and place the baby up for adoption.
- End the pregnancy with a termination.
Your options should be based on family circumstances as well as how you see your future.
- Will I be able to continue with my future plans if I have the baby?
- Am I ready to become a mother?
- What am I hoping to achieve in the next five to ten years?
- Can I incorporate a baby into my plans?
- How do I feel about adoption?
- If I have a termination will I regret it?
- What does the father of the baby think about the situation?
The babies father should be told and his family consulted too. What does he feel about it?
You should make a time for both families to get together and discuss the options . A baby will affect the whole family not just you. But at the end of the day, it should be your choice over everyone else.
You are the person who is going to have to live with the decision. The Pregnancy Advisory Clinic will be there to help you too. Along with your GP.
So remember, you don't have to do this alone. There are many people out there who are ready and willing to help you.
So take that first step by telling your mom, friend or teacher. And just remember this doesn't have to be a stressful time. With a little patience and help you will find the choice you make will be right for you.
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