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The Troubled Family

Updated on February 22, 2019
DDE profile image

Devika enjoys sharing her work with a friendly community. Writing is a big part of her life. Online work has improved her lifestyle.

There are no perfect families

A young beautiful woman eloped when she was just fifteen years old. Her plan was to marry her lover, the man she had fallen in love at the age fifteen. For this woman life felt full and lively with the one she loved.

Years went by, and still married to her only love. The couple have five children together and lived happily in those given years. She did marry the love of her life.

The marriage did not last for a long period.

After the sudden death of her husband the woman became lonely and distraught. She wanted more from her young life though did not know how and what to do to accomplish her needs.

Being alone and away from her family and since her elope adventure she had not been back to visit her family.

The children also needed her but as time went by she became withdrawn from her children. Leaving her children unattended and with the oldest child to take care of the siblings was a difficult task. A few years later the oldest child got himself a job this opened a way for all the members of the family.

The woman then quit her job and took care of her younger children. She battled for years on, paying the bills and having to provide with one salary was tough. The problem started when she ran away from home thinking she could have a good life.

She defined her parents and did what she wanted from a young age. The oldest son became the breadwinner of the home provided food and paid the bills. They were living from day-to-day, and not all the family members were happy with the living arrangement. After two of her children got married they decided to live in the same home, and could not afford to buy their own.

Living independently like other married couples do was not possible with these couples. Too many people were living in such a small space and to make sure all had a plate of food was hard to figure out.

This woman needed more food in her home and went daily to her rich sister to borrow her basic needs, off-course her sister gave her whatever was required.

From one sister to another she pleaded to have something from them to get her household going from day to day. The other problem with this family there was no parent control.

Discipline and respect for each other did not matter in this family household. Each day they squabbled about every little conversation. The lights and water bills were not paid on time.

That caused the disconnection of both water and electricity. It happened frequently. Other members of the family did not visit as often. The poverty-stricken family had become withdrawn from most of other close family members.

She often left her home and visited friends and got acquainted with several men. Meeting the different men did not make her problems vanish.

She spent many hours away from home to get rid of those continuous complaints. The issues were too much to cope with and that made her feel so unhappy for such a long time.

A family with many problems, from financially, emotionally physically and psychologically issues. Mentally the one son showed his part in many abusive ways. He tried to hit his mother and she did not retaliate in any way.

The family was going downhill from the time of her husband's death and she had no reins on her family.

As kids got older they had grown to be ill mannered. A single parent she has been for from the birth of her kids and she could not stand up to her children with authority. The woman's soft voice did not show any authority.

The problems worsened and other family members totally stopped visiting the broken up family. Only the one son has a day job while the other three sons and two daughters are married and failed to help out. Their lives were also in a mess.

He worked and did not marry because he could not make a life of his own. The situation left him with not of an opportunity to live his life independently. Without proper parent control everything fell apart in this family. It was sad to visit this family each time they tried to get up from their bad spot something caused them to fall right back down.

They could not live in any other way except in poverty. A dysfunctional family without the support of other family members made it even more difficult to show progress.

The one and only sister who helped did continue but that was not enough to hold the dysfunctional family together. They needed more than just food on the table.

The woman grew old and sad. Her stressful life caused her constant chest pains.

The woman had a responsibility to her grandchildren and one of her grandsons is an ADD child. It was another one of her greater responsibilities. Taking care of the child was part of her stressful life which added on more weight to her shoulders.

Her chest pains increased daily.

The woman lost interest in her appearance and looked most neglected at all times. Her soft spoken voice showed her humbleness but that was all it showed to her family. They took more of her energy and left her helpless and feeling motionless. There was no control with her kids from day one and raising all five children alone showed not much effort.

No respect, no communication, love, and attention, the lack of time spent together, and the not so happy moments left her disappointed and disheartened. There was no support from any of the family members. Those who helped were not involved in her personal life.

They knew her problems began when she ran away from home and she knew her mistakes at that time seemed right.

''If only she listened to her parents may be the situation would have been different.''

Parenting for her was hard. Being less educated about life in general made her life most stressful and problematic. At nearly sixty years old this woman was beyond it. Her life just went by with problems and hardships the days got tougher and tougher.

One morning she got up had breakfast and the youngest son and her had a row. It was about who will inherit their home it was another family problem to resolve. She rushed out of her home and walked down the street in hurriedly to get to her daughter's place close by.

In that moment she forgot to take her medication for the Angina pains she constantly experienced in her chest. When she reached her daughter's home she had by then had enough of her problematic life. Before she got into a conversation with her daughter she had a chest pain from that stressful moment experienced back home.

It was most shocking for her daughter to see her mother in that way. It was too late for medical treatment. A family who could not have it in their hearts to work together and help out to make the life of their mother easy.

They had faced more unhappy moments than happy moments.

The only son who worked and provided for his mother, while the rest did not care, had felt the loss of his mother most difficult to adhere to.

There are no perfect families.

Dysfunctional families have lots to cope with and sadly the situation does not get any better for most broken up families. What you put in is what you get out.

In this case, there was not much effort and time to make it all right. The battle went on and still is for the rest of the family.

Dysfunctional families

Family Issues

Spot the Dysfunctional Family

Family Problems in Dysfunctional Situations

Are you from a Dysfunctional Family?

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This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2014 Devika Primić


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    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 

      5 years ago from Texas

      You are welcome Devika

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Shyron you so right ''No one has the answers to all the problems of kids who marry to young or babies having babies.'' Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts here.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 

      5 years ago from Texas

      Devika, you could be talking about any family. Most families have some dysfunctionality, but thankfully not as much as the family you write about.

      No one has the answers to all the problems of kids who marry to young or babies having babies.

      A very interesting hub.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Thank you so kindly and so true about couples living on their own to relieve their parents of all the ongoing stress well said

    • grand old lady profile image

      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 

      5 years ago from Philippines

      This reminds me of a lot of Filipino families, especially because it's not uncommon for married couples to live with parents especially when they are just starting out. Whether rich or poor, the clash can be money or personalities. And even when there's lots of money there are still money clashes because the family members are used to a standard of living.

      People need space, especially young married couples. As much as possible, they should try to live in their own home.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi cherylann you are so right ''if at that time you sit up and try to make it right, try really hard, there's a chance you'll see a different tomorrow.'' Well said thank you kindly for commenting.

    • Cherylann Mollan profile image

      Cherylann Mollan 

      5 years ago from India

      Hi DDE. I like what you said in the end, 'what you put in is what you get.' It's honest and motivating. It's true that sometimes family issues go down a path you think you've got no control over. But, if at that time you sit up and try to make it right, try really hard, there's a chance you'll see a different tomorrow. Thanks for this. I'm going to try and remember that line when ever I have to deal with family issues.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Pamela99 thank you for commenting on my hub The Fallen Apart Family I appreciate your time and effort.

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 

      5 years ago from Sunny Florida

      You certainly summed up all of the problems in dysfunctional families. *It is a tough life for all. Very useful hub.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      kidscrafts ''And it's to bad that her older son became the breadwinner for the whole family; he had the right to his own life.'' it is sad when in such situations. Thank you for commenting.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      D.A.L. thank you for the vote up, interesting and useful so kind of you to stop by

    • kidscrafts profile image


      5 years ago from Ottawa, Canada

      I think some people make their life more difficult than it's necessary. Sometimes we need to put bounderies to protect ourself. In this family things went from bad to worse! And it's to bad that her older son became the breadwinner for the whole family; he had the right to his own life.

      You always find interesting situations to discuss, Devika!

      Enjoy your weekend!

    • D.A.L. profile image


      5 years ago from Lancashire north west England

      In your interesting and wonderful story of how this dysfunctional family fell apart makes me wonder would things have been very different if her husband had not died. {although I appreciate the moral of parental control in the first instance}. Not only people fall apart but also countries that become gradually dysfunctional, which is relatively more dangerous. Great read ,voted up,interesting and useful

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      FlourishAnyway, well said the many kinds we have in our families make us understand and misunderstand their lives thank you

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      midget38 thank you very much for stopping by

    • FlourishAnyway profile image


      5 years ago from USA

      Oh, there are no perfect families. I have a very large extended family myself, with my father being one of eight and my mother being one of six children. The extended family is huge and we have our fair share of starlets, superheroes, princesses, crackpots, scoundrels, and thugs. We put the FUN in dysfunctional.

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 

      5 years ago from Singapore

      Relationships take so much nurturing….and it's a pity that people seldom find the time to do it…and before they know it, it all falls apart.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Great thinking from you and so true Thank you


    • ologsinquito profile image


      5 years ago from USA

      There are no perfect families, but some seem to be more dysfunctional than others.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      billybuc thank you for commenting your time is always appreciated

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Wonderful points as always!


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