- Family and Parenting
Whose fault these kids ? Part (4)
Whose fault ?
No matter how hard I try, I now know that it’s almost impossible for me not to become totally consumed, wrapped up this adult playground that is parents and their children. That is the same in every walk of life.
I told myself that I would rest for a while, before attacking this subject, but it would not let me rest. No purgatory for me it’s a direct flight from start to finish. Because this is a topic that will never die off, At least not any time soon.it will always be a hot topic that’s stays fresh and in the news.
What is actually happening, it seems that because most parents have become caught up in the parental frenzy, they end up seeing their child /children, not as the investment that they are in these times, but rather this helpless needy being, that will forever signal to their parents the need to be pampered and catered for. Thus creating children that’s forever dependant on their parents more for those things that the parent does for them, rather than for who and what parents symbolizes or stand for.
We don’t need to be rocket scientist to figure out that practice is the only attribute that leads to a possible perfection?
As it exists, a dependency on the Parent, simply leads to a dependency on the parent. And as humans we also know, that if we can get something valuable for ourselves for free. It will be utter nonsense, us paying for it. It is these blunders and misconceptions in life, which creates more problems than solutions in the lives of children and parents.
If you are accustomed to having something for free who is this world is to now tell anyone , that my parents who never allowed me to want for anything, even before I can even think of it, there it is, and now you are saying to me that I must pay? For what! Yes even with attitude.
Some parents don’t seem to know it’s instinctive that their child will need them. It’s on this instinctive urge that is where the child will build the true love, and the need for their parents.
Not instead have a Likeness for their parents, because they have no choice, and that’s where all their goodies come from. But instead that never ending Love for their parents, because they do not need to have a choice, because this is where it’s at this is where I will learn and grow this is where I am permanent. All my preparations and lessons to get strong and be able to face life are here. It’s mine and it’s “Free”
This is where I get to know the expectations of which parents are, and what they do. Thus also taking in the skills I will most definitely need later where it’s possible that I too may also be a parent.
The idea of loving and over loving of kids can only be the result of inexperience on the path of some parents. It’s easy to understand that parents will also always be parents, but because of Love for your children you should desire to be nothing less, than to be the greatest parent you could be.
The more you allow instinct to play its role in the life of your child, the more capacity they will have for deeper learning. It’s just like exercise, or like learning to read or ride a bike.
Stop looking at your kids as magically becoming this knight in shining armor, which rode into your lives to save the day. That was already automatically done. From the moment you decided that you would have a child/ children whichever comes first. Don’t think that because you think that you will be a more loving mother than many you have seen, this will then get you a more loving child, and then that will magically put you in a greater position? Look around you and think carefully. Every single child was shown some kind of Love. Ask any parent, and they will tell you most definitely. So do you really think it’s a lack of Love? Ask yourself again whose fault these children?
They don’t somehow just grow to become a success. Wake up; remember nothing taught will result in nothing learned. If you teach them only to be loving, the chance exists that you may just only get loving. Love automatically comes with having the child/children it’s also instinctive. How you manifest and distribute that love will be evident of what you understand.
As it is said in the Bible, the book of Mathew 7:16 it says: By their fruit you will recognize them.
Do people pick grapes from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles?
They are not simply going to grow up and some how just wave this magic wand and poof! Everything will be made correct. Sadly in these times this has been proven to be the most devastating reality, many parents have to face. That their parenting skills were a failure, not that the kids met up with bad company or you do not know what happened! Again you can only reap that which you have sown. This is the case with millions of parents that for the remainder of their lives they will be living with the reality, that because they have
made an investment that for years looked to be heading in the correct direction, and it appears that all of a sudden it started heading south rapidly.
But that is as far from the truth as one can get, that’s your purgatory, that middle ground that many parents created as their own rest area, that time as a parent where they will tell themselves let’s forget about proper discipline for now it’s alright , it will be ok, that’s a huge mistake.
They are actually hoping that they would soon wake, from out of this nightmare, and it will be. Please say it isn’t so!
Sorry to disappoint some of you, it is so!
Instead of being the parent that you need to be, you went ahead and become the parent most dream parents “Want” to be. Many parents still do not understand the different between the “Need” and the “Want” and they eventually become eaten alive by the Fantasy of simply “wanting” to be parents, to their little prince and princesses, waiting for that castle that they have never shown their children the first step as to how they can build.
If parents show their kids all that they are working with, and none of it includes the discipline and truth,
Their kids will grow up void of discipline and truth.
They will also be more easily interested in outside influence at an earlier age than usual, because it will simply prove more interesting.
You did not set then to take on the world, your selfishness and inexperience made them afraid of the world and dependant only on you.
Only in some seriously rear occasions, you would hear people say that they “Need” kids, you will always hear they “Want” kids. It is from this basic misconception that children have been given this much longer than necessary leash, to take and do as they please rather than take and follow its guidelines and teachings.
Some parents of our time are actually thinking like the kids, instead of the kid thinking and acting like their parents. Believe it, this is miles from the correct way to proceed.
Any wise parents will surely know, because most have learned, that for best results, you must train up a child in the way he/she should go and when they are old they would not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6
Blessings and Give Thanks.
There will be a part (5)