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Yes, That is Your Child.

Updated on July 28, 2018
Creative Kylie profile image

I am the mom to two amazing young people. I am the wife of a Charter Captain, a preschool teacher, freelance writer and Artist.

Is my child that child?

You are walking in a dream world planning on what to buy or not buy at your local department store. When through the fog of your thoughts you hear a child raising a fuss, screaming and crying and having an all out tantrum. You are seemingly not phased by the commotion being caused, the glares from other shoppers and the whispers of the ladies just a few feet away from you.

All of a sudden you snap out of your dream world, just to realize that the tantrum and scream and crying is coming from your very own shopping cart. Yes that is your child having a fit because you won't buy them a new video game. The glares, stares and whispers are all meaningless to you and as you should you are ignoring them.

Don't worry mamma we have all been there at some point in our child raising lives. It can be embarrassing to us, annoying to fellow shoppers, and just flat infuriating because we always swore that would never be our child. Just when we think it won't happen to us, guess what it does.

That all too familiar tantrum.
That all too familiar tantrum. | Source
Setting Limits with Your Strong-Willed Child, Revised and Expanded 2nd Edition: Eliminating Conflict by Establishing CLEAR, Firm, and Respectful Boundaries
Setting Limits with Your Strong-Willed Child, Revised and Expanded 2nd Edition: Eliminating Conflict by Establishing CLEAR, Firm, and Respectful Boundaries
setting limits is a must do with children. This is one of the many books that I have read and recommend for setting limits and beginning discipline with children. We don't want to continue being that mom with that child in the store or local eatery.
 

What to Do.

Now that you have realized it is your child throwing the tantrum, what are you going to do?

  • You can leave the store immediately, jut leave the cart in the aisle, with your planned purchases inside and walk away with the child. You are completely embarrassed by this display of bad behavior, and staying in the store would just punish you and the other shoppers. While leaving sounds perfect, your child will learn nothing from walking out of the store, getting nothing, and going home to play in their room with their toys. I am a firm believer in giving a spanking on the bottom of child to, so I say once you get outside of the store, you give your child a spanking and firm reminder of what they are being spanked for and that if it happens again you will spank them harder the next time.
  • Punish Them When you Get Home, while this too sounds like a great idea unfortunately it is probably the worst idea depending on age. By the time you get all the way out of the store, into the car and home your child will no longer understand what they are being punished for especially if they are under 6 years old. Their memory is very short even when having a tantrum. Now for older children and teenagers, punishing them when you get home is acceptable because they are still aware of what they are getting punished for.
  • Stay in the store and keep shopping through the tantrum. This is a great idea, although I put a slight twist on this idea. I will take my small child to the restroom, and either give them a spanking if that is called for, or simply talking my child to calmness and explaining that this is unacceptable behavior and should it continue and you have to leave then their punishment will be worse. If you are getting comments and stares from fellow shoppers they need to mind their business, children have a right to be in this world, in public and they have a right to express their emotions as annoying and embarrassing as it may be.

Other shoppers will surely be annoyed with you and your child, they will more than likely make comments, and even offer their parenting advice and criticism, it is human nature. However you do not have to remain speechless and take their words, you can kindly tell them to mind their own business and you will raise your child as you see fit.

Time for Punishment

There are many ways to punish your child. Many of these way are effective, depending on child, age, and situation. Punishment is operative in a growing child's life. It teaches them the limits that they cannot exceed, it teaches them to take responsibility for their wrongs, and teaches them to be a stronger and more reliable. So now that it's time to punish them, what can you do that is effective

1. Be consisten

Just as with any child or young living human being, you will need to be consistent. If you are going to punish them today for telling you no, then you need punish them for it tomorrow and the next day. Being consistent with your punishing, it is important.

2. Be Firm not Abusive

You want to be firm in your punishment, but you do not want to be abusive. Regardless of your method of punishment you must be firm. I do not believe the flower child soft and sweet "Johnny don't do that again" method is effective. It is not being firm, nor is it being effective. I am firm believer that there is a time for sweetness and a time for firmness. As your child gets older the firmer you will have to be. You will want to stick to your guns and not give in to unwanted behavior. If you say no that means the answer is no, and whatever it's you or the people you live with need to respect your decision.

How ever you decide to punish or reprimand your child, you will need to make sure that is not only consistant but age appropriate as well. You will not want to put your 1 year old in time out for 15 minutes because they won't sit still that long and in 15 minutes they won't remember why they are there in the first place. You also don't want to put your 10 year old in time out for 2 minutes, they should be there longer as they will remember what they are there for and they can sit still for extended periods of time.

If you give a spanking just as with time out you want to make sure it is age appropriate. You won't paddle your 1 year old because that would generally be too rough, a simple swat on the behind or smack on the hand that is uncomfortable will do. Now your 10 year old would more than likely require a harder smack on the behind as they are older and bigger and it will take more to make them uncomfortable.

Discipline Is Essntial

Discipline is essential from a young age, or you will continue to have the child in the store that has tantrums and embarrasses you in the store. Children need to know their limitations and that there are consequences for their actions. In order to be effective you need to provide age appropriate discipline at the start of their misbehavior rather than let it get out of hand.

So things to remember when providing discipline to your children you need be age appropriate, behaviorally appropriate, firm but not abusive. Start doing this with your children and you will see a difference in time. Nothing happens over night, especially bad behavior, it builds over time so it's going to take time to correct it. Remember this one little tip above anything else, when you place your child in time out, remember it's usually 1 minute in time out for each year of age that they are. Toddlers don't usually sit still for more than a few minutes at a time.

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