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What a Child Wants : Understanding Child psychology to help them flourish

Updated on October 28, 2012

Every child has his own unique potential but not all children can be world beaters . For some children there's a enormous gap between their potential and reality and the huge expectations from them can block the way to a good life . Yet we can make a real difference in our child's life . To ensure our child's well being we need to understand the factors that make a big impact on the quality of child's life .

Five Common Factors Affecting A Child's Wellbeing

1> Every child is different : Every kid has a unique combination of talents , temperament which determines how they respond to the world . In young children their temperament is the first thing we notice : are they bold or shy , lively or quiet . This shapes how they interact with the environment and with people . Knowing the child is the first step towards that child development process .

My Unique Child
My Unique Child

2> Children are not like clay waiting to be moulded : Unlike animals the human brain takes a long time to mature and to develop into unique individuals . Any attempt to mould a child to someone's personal blueprint is likely to lead to frustration and disappointment , particularly if the adult's motivation is greater than the child's .Children driven under pressure react with the stress response, wanting either to escape or not doing anything .

3> Personal Strength , Self Discovery and Unique Potential : Children who don't excel in any particular area compared to their peers may struggle to gain recognition . All children need to know they can make things happen in their world and that's where personal strengths comes to play . Personal strengths are those interest and abilities which have strong appeal to the child . Personal Strengths enable children to discover the world and learn about themselves more effectively . Children needs time and freedom to discover their strengths .

4> Emotions and mentoring : Whether its anger , fear , happiness or love all emotions serve a useful purpose and contribute to our survival . Our emotions alert us to anything that might help or hinder our well being . Its necessary for family and community to stoke up positive emotions in a child's life and reduced the negatives . Children need mentoring through that emotional ride and when children know adults will provide for them and protect them they feel secure , and their negative emotions become less frequent and intense . A calmer , happier child is free to learn .

“A child needs both to be hugged and unhugged. The hug lets her know she is valuable. The unhug lets her know that she is viable. If you’re always shoving your child away, they will cling to you for love. If you’re always holding them closer, they will cling to you for fear.”

5 > Positive communication : The relationship between parent and the child has an almost miraculous effect in kick starting all areas of development . How this works is directly connected to the positive communication which make relationships work successfully .

  • How do children know that they can count upon your protection and support ?
  • What shows them that you care about them and want them to do well ?
  • Do they feel secure about asking you to do something for them when they are confused or frustrated ?

How a parent strike this relationship with his child shape up his child's growth and development .


Having said that the Resilience on parent's part is equally important for a child's development . We do everything in our power to ensure the quality of our child's life but there comes a stage when everything seems to be tottering and you begin to question yourself , your personal expectation can be the major reason for that . While some of us feel powerless at that stage while others rise to the challenge . The difference is a set of attitudes and skills called resilience . Resilience helps a child to bounce back from setbacks to keep on track . Resilience is all about confidence in your own and your child's capabilities , you need to accept that stuff happens and cannot always be prevented . Resilience is not something you are born with . Resilience can be learned , so what can you do to help your child become more resilient ?

  • Create a powerful sense of personal security in their mind so that they know they have a safe haven where they are loved and even if they make mistakes they ll be treated the same .
  • Give them a strong self belief that makes them aware of their personal strengths and confidence to work on them.
  • Belief in your personal capabilities and a sense of meaning and purpose which drives your efforts towards the growth and development of your child .

You need to set goals as far your personal expectations are concerned , but be ready for the failures because success rarely goes in a straight line so rather than being frustrated and demotivated , we can tell ourselves what to do next to avoid those mistakes . And try to have some social support with you because it really helps to stay motivated and confident of the progress .

Well that's what i knew from my personal experiences and i poured every bit of it into this piece , i hope you like it and you get benefited from it .

If you notice a mistake or have something to add , comments are welcome .


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    • vishvender13 profile image

      vishvender13 5 years ago from Chandigarh , India

      Thanks mate , really appreciated

    • Rob Winters profile image

      Rob Winters 5 years ago

      Hi Vish. Some interesting points on helping to foster healthy psychological development in young children.Up & Useful.

      P.S.Typo/Spelling mistake in your title - Psychology.