Parenting Styles ~ What Kind of Parent Are You? Lenient? Strict? Balanced? Find Out!
What do you do when your child needs discipline? How much should you expect from your child? Knowing when and how to correct your child, or how much to expect from him is often a difficult task for parents.
Let's take a look at the three categories of parents. The strict parent, the lenient parent, and the balanced parent.
The strict parent.
Cutting corners is totally out in your book. You make sure that your child follows each task to the letter, studies within an inch of his life, and defies foolishness. "Never rest until the good is best," is your motto. You love your child and you want him to have the utmost in life; to excel above his peers and grow to his fullest potential. You make sure that he pours his all into every detail, and you feel disappointed if he produces anything less.
The lenient parent.
You, like the strict parent, want the best for your child but go about it in a much different way. You are often afraid of "over tasking" and you have a tendency to let things go. If something seems too difficult, you search for easier alternatives and your soft heart frequently wins out.
The balanced parent.
If you are a balanced parent, you are a blessed parent. You are one who presents your child with healthy challenges but backs off if she begins to struggle. You go to great lengths to work with your child, explain things in detail, and make sure that every requirement is understood. You enforce the things that need to be enforced and you pick your battles carefully when it comes to the "gray" areas. You praiseworthy accomplishments. If the child seems to be producing less than seems to be her potential, you will talk to her about it, and try to get to the root of the problem.
How Does a Child Respond To These Different Parenting Styles?
The child of a strict parent will almost always develop the desire to please. They will work extra hard to meet their parent's expectations. Although this sounds great, the child of a strict parent tends to stress easily, and blame themselves if they're having a hard time. They sometimes over work themselves which leads to exhaustion. This ultimately backfires and results in lower quality work, frustration, and low self esteem.
In the next category, children may try to manipulate without their parents knowledge. They know the right "buttons" to push to make their day a little easier. They tend to be a bit lazier and goof off more because they know they can. Since they don't have a lot to challenge them, many times they won't reach their full potential.
On the other hand, the children in balanced situations are less stressed, better behaved, produce quality work, and have better confidence levels. The reasons are clear. Assignments are well explained until the child "grasps" them. Boundaries are clear and children know how they are expected to behave. They know if they do well they'll be praised, and if they don't, they will have the chance to explain.
Well, What Kind of Parent Are You?
Did you see yourself in any of these examples? If you fell into one of the first two categories don't be too hard on yourself. We all have room to improve. I have actually bounced back and forth between all three of these categories from time to time. The bottom line is that even we as parents can still learn. We can take what we've read and grow. We all love our kids and want the best for them. Just keep in mind, discipline means discipleship. We must not only tell our children how to live, but we must disciple them and show them how to live. The fact that you are giving of yourself to them proves that you've already taken the most important step. Just remember, children follow our lead. Let's be the best so that they can be the best!
Which pareting style are you?
Links That May Help Your Parenting Get Easier
- Focus on the Family: Helping Families Thrive
Focus on the Family provides relevant Christian advice on marriage, parenting and other topics. Find practical resources for every age and lifestage.
- Intentional Living -
Ministering to others through Christ-centered communication. Ministries include Family Life Radio, Parent Talk OnCall, Intentional Living, Radio Programming, Conferences, and Resources.
- TALK Line Family Support Center | Home