ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Kids Say the Darndest Things; Why Can't Adults?

Updated on October 13, 2017
Karen Hellier profile image

Karen Hellier is a freelance writer and eBay entrepreneur. She lives happily in the mountains of North Georgia with her husband and her dog.

Source


This afternoon, I was walking down the hallway at the school in which I was substitute teaching. At that time of day, the hallway was quite empty, but I passed by a little girl I knew well from previous subbing jobs in this school. I said, "Hi Jenny, how are you doing?" She looked at me with a quizzical expression, cocked her head a bit to one side, put her hand out in front of her, rocked it back and forth a bit and said, 'About in the middle." I was confused for a second, and my first thought was, 'In the middle of what?" Then I realized at a time when most adults would have said, "Fine, and you?" or maybe just a one-word answer, this sweet little girl was being totally honest with me and answered how she truly felt...not good, not bad, but "about in the middle." I wondered why adults couldn't be the same way. Her honesty had me smiling for the rest of the day.

I once had an adult woman who was born in the South tell me that people in our Connecticut town were too honest. They tell others how they really feel when asked. She was brought up by a father who told her never to tell people how you really feel if you are having a bad day. She was supposed to just put on a happy face for the rest of the world, and not let them see if she was sad or having a bad day. She was supposed to hide her true feelings. Being born and raised in the North, I told her that seemed pretty phony to me, and up here in the North, we believe in being honest with others. So while some people, apparently like her, ask the question about how another person is doing, and don't want to hear the real answer, there are those of us, being born in the North and I am sure in other places, that want to know the truth. If I ask someone how they are feeling and they are having a bad day, I sincerely do want to know the truth, because maybe there is something I can say that will help them. I am sure there are plenty of adults who don't tell the truth because they think the person that is asking is just being nice. But there are those of us who ask, and we really care so don't be afraid to open up like my friend Jenny and let the truth out. You may get a response that will help your day go from " about in the middle" to "pretty good."

Today I did not help my young friend Jenny because what she said took me by surprise. But next time, I will be ready.

By the way, how are you feeling today? And please be honest!

Response Poll

When People Ask How You Are Doing, Do You Tell Them The Truth?

See results

© 2013 Karen Hellier

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • Karen Hellier profile imageAUTHOR

      Karen Hellier 

      6 years ago from Georgia

      teaches12345,

      Yes that's true. And I still laugh when I remember that little girl's answer..."about in the middle."

    • Karen Hellier profile imageAUTHOR

      Karen Hellier 

      6 years ago from Georgia

      TCurtis Moore,

      Yes, true but there are other ways to answer...like one could say they are excited about an upcoming vacation, or they are looking forward to lunch, etc.! Just a little variety that is true is surprising and nice. And a true answer like, "about in the middle" made me laugh all day long!

    • TCurtis Moore profile image

      TCurtis Moore 

      6 years ago

      Nice article. It's good to hear the truth. Sometimes it gets a little old if someone is always complaining about everything. There is a fine line between the two.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 

      6 years ago

      I try to answer honestly when asked how I am doing. People don't really want to hear all the details of a dreadful day, so saying "okay" seems to cover it for most of us. I agree, children are much better at honestly sharing their feelings.

    • Karen Hellier profile imageAUTHOR

      Karen Hellier 

      6 years ago from Georgia

      hawaiianodysseus,

      Good point. Thanks for reading and commenting. I always enjoy your responses.

    • hawaiianodysseus profile image

      Hawaiian Odysseus 

      6 years ago from Southeast Washington state

      Parents have done such a good job to squelch the natural inclination of children to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. It serves a purpose, of course, but then it seems like we have to spend a lifetime finding our true voice. Being writers, we get there faster than most. Just my bias, but I truly believe that. Thanks for writing about this thought-provoking subject, Karen.

    • Karen Hellier profile imageAUTHOR

      Karen Hellier 

      6 years ago from Georgia

      Careermommy,

      I think a lot of adults feel people really don't want to know about how they are really doing, or are just putting on a front but I bet there are a lot of people that ask that question about how they are doing, and really do want to know...myself included! Thanks for commenting.

    • Karen Hellier profile imageAUTHOR

      Karen Hellier 

      6 years ago from Georgia

      Arline,

      Yes, I agree with you about kids telling it like it is. Too bad we have to lose that when we grow up. Most of us anyway. I was really surprised when that lady told me about what her father had taught her. I think that's a prevalent attitude down there. Just seems phoney and dishonest to me.

    • profile image

      Arline 

      6 years ago

      I found your North v. South point so interesting. One time a psychologist friend of mine ( from PA) told me that I had a harder time "opening up" about feelings *because* I was a New Englander! :) Children definitely tell it like they see it! They haven't yet picked up any of our adult privacy issues! ( must happen some time when they are teens!)

    • Careermommy profile image

      Tirralan Watkins 

      6 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

      Karen, you raise a good question. I think adults have a fear of being judged by others, or maybe we don't want to discuss our lives with certain people and prefer to keep our emotions and feelings to ourselves. Maybe this is selfish of us, or maybe we're just being protective. Who knows? But, I do think there is a way to answer people honestly without lying about it though.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)