Why do I stress over my son growing up?
I have heard of women becoming depressed after having their children but I am having a hard time letting go. My son slept with my husband and myself for the first 10 months of his life now he is a year old and sleeping beside our bed in a playpen. I know he needs to move to his own room before long but I am having severe separation anxiety about it.
You've obviously become very attached to your son and that's good but your son will eventually move on at his own pace because "he" feels that he is ready too. Don't think that your losing him to the rest of the world, see it as your parenting brought to adaptive state of mind. So please don't fret over it.
It's absolutely a normal reaction! No need to worry. The answer above me is correct, you are obviously really attached to you little boy, just like any mom would be. But, you need to remember that he will always need you, and only you can fill the void. You don't need to make this step all of a sudden. I suggest that some days you sleep with him, and other days he sleeps in his playpen. Then, slowly you will be okay with him alone in his playpen. Your son is very lucky to have a caring mother like you! This is one of the major steps of parenting. You have to take it one step at a time!
Separation anxiety is normal to an extent, but you sound a little more anxious than normal. You need to let him be a person in his own right, holding on to him as a part of you is very different from viewing him as your child. You need to let him grow as a independent, healthy individual. It's one thing to love and another thing to possess. Try to develop hobbies or interests that will help you deal with this anxiety. If you do not handle this well it may become an issue between your husband and you, men do feel threatened by this strong bond between the mother and child during the early years. A balance is must even in emotions and relationships.
Please do take help from elders or professionals if you must.
My son just turned one and he still sleeps in the room with me and his dad. He's in his bed, but still next to us. I think you're a normal, loving mom.
It's a natural chemical reaction in all parents to want to be there for their child and many of us are bonded to them in ways we cannot understand.
Don;t worry about it so much and realize you are only human like all other parents.
Your his mom, your going to be stressing over him your whole life! You just have to put it in the back of your mind and support him when he needs it!
You will know when the time is right. Listen to your gut and your heart and rest assure that Mom (and Dad) knows best. You can't go wrong by listening to your own intuition on the matter. I remember when my son was a little baby and he did sleep in his own room in a crib but I was checking him every half hour to make sure he was breathing. I was paranoid about sudden infant death. This didn't last forever, but I gradually became confident and calmed down about it. Things take as long as they take! I know this isn't a very scientific answer, but believe me when I tell you it's all ok. Check out my website for more wisdom from Mimi (abclegacy.com) and childliteracyathome.com
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