how can you discipline adolescent children without punishing them or being too strict ?
i am keen in bringing about self awareness in present day adolescents. make them know themselves and appreciate their true real self. any advice reading material help in this direction is welcome.
Talk to them like adults. Get buy-in and commitment from them. Then hold them accountable. If you talk to them reasonably, respectfully, they really do respond. I've had conversations with my kids where I said, "Hey, you're not going to graduate if you don't pass this class, you realize that don't you?" or "You know your Mom puts a lot of time into washing and folding your clothes and it's pretty insulting for her to come in here and see them thrown on the floor, right?"
They'll answer that they do know this (teenagers aren't stupid). So then I would ask, "So, since it's important that this not happen, and since I've tried for a long time to get you to do it and it's still not happening: what would you do if you were me, parenting you?"
You'd be amazed at how honest they will be, at least I was. They'll tell you first, "I don't know." But if you are patient and calm, and say, "I know, I don't know either. But we BOTH agree it's important that you graduate, so, we need a solution. So help me out, what would you do in my shoes?" They'll actually start confessing that they themselves don't understand their behavior and that they don't want to fail either. They'll help you devise a strategy that has buy-in on their part because they are part of the solution, but also because you respected them enough to include them in the parenting strategy. Then you hold them accountable. Brace yourself for failure, be patient, and allow them to "reset" the clock etc.--remember they are just LEARNING how to be adult even though they insist they already are--, but if the deal was they give up Play Station for a week, take it out. If they know consequences are sort of squishy because you avoid conflict after a long day at work, which I get, just know that YOU are the problem, not them.
by Lupozee 7 years ago
Was watching a programme this morning regarding extreme parenting, where this woman would punish her children if they didnt get grades above B, and wouldn't let her children go out with their friends, she even punished her daughter because she didn't put effort in her mums birthday card!!! so she...
by Candace Bacon 8 years ago
I recently heard a story about a woman who disciplines her kids with a spray bottle. She has a 3 year old son who has a bad temper. When he starts pitching fits, she sprays him with the water bottle to get him to start acting right. She says that it is the only thing that is...
by edmondpogi 7 years ago
Is physical force a justifiable method of punishing children?
by Stacie L 5 years ago
Spanking for Jesus movement lets God-fearing husbands feel good about punishing their wivesBy Eric W. DolanWednesday, June 19, 2013 21:29 EDTSpanking for Jesus or a movement known as Christian Domestic Discipline. The alternative lifestyle fell into the media spotlight on Wednesday thanks to The...
by everyday living 2 years ago
What would you say the best method of punishing a toddler?For those of you that have children ages 4 and below, what do you do to punish your children for misbehaving and/or throwing temper tantrums, biting, and other bad behaviors.
by Christin Sander 5 years ago
Is it worse to grow up without a father or have a dad who just stops showing up when you're 13?If you grow up without a father figure at all, do you think that is easier than having your father just decide to stop showing up when you turn 13? The child in question was very close with his father...
Copyright © 2018 HubPages Inc. and respective owners. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc. HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.
|HubPages Device ID||This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel||This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.|
|Remarketing Pixels||We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels||We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.|