Why do some brothers and sisters get along well in some families, but not in most families?
Getting along in the sense of having fun with each other, and not fighting each other, or simply being cold with each other. I have seen bros and sistrs who almost need no friends at all, they are friends with each other. In my case, we respect each other, but rarely see each other...why is that???? My hypothesis is that close family members are not the norm.
I do not know if most families have the problem you raised--many do. However, I think the problem is a lack of maturity and the failure to understand that some siblings will need more attention than others. I was one of three and the youngest. I had to bad eyes, speech impairment, etc. I got more attention. I think my siblings resented it. As we all matured, we all came to understand that each of us had our special time but in some cases more attention is needed for one child and more is expected of others. My wife was one of six. The age difference between the youngest and older children created some issues, that with time and everyone entering adulthood were resolved. As far as your question is concerned, are your siblings in the same city or state. Do they have families of their own, are your parents still living.
When both parents die, the children lose the focal point of the family. As they have their own families their priorities have to change. My older brother died several years ago. I had seen him three years before his death. We talked on the phone a few times each year. He lived in Montana. I lived in Louisiana. Visits were hard to arrange.
My wife has a friend who had six children. They all live in the same area and once a week they have family night. Whoever wants to come can, but it is not an obligation. Sometimes all six, with spouses and children come, some time only three will come.
Families and siblings have to adapt. Siblings need to forget some of the "short end situations" they faced as young children and look upon their brothers and sisters as adults and seek to build a mature relationship. That will not work for everyone--I know that. But it is the best starting point I can offer.
Good answer, I appreciate that. However, are there biological reasons behind this? Or is it all about upbringing? Is there anything I can do today to my children for them to grow close to each other? Children range in age between 5 to 18!!
My brother was 12 years older than me. When I was six he was 18 and two years later he joined the Air Force. He was my mother's favorite. My sister got stuck with watching over me. Give each child their space and do not compare one to another.
Sibling relationships are psychologically intricate.Siblings can be simultaneously the very best of friends or the very worst of enemies. Siblilngs can be comrade at arms or intense competitors/rivals.Sibling relationships can be either warm as a late August or as chilly as late December.
No one can love or hate like siblings.While some siblings stick together through thick and thin,there are same fairweather siblings that would go behind their sibilngs' back or would subject them to the most negative of scenarios.There are siblings who routinely abuse and/or bully each other physically, psychologically, emotionally, mentally, even psychically.There are favorite siblings to whom other siblings maintain that the world is alright with the former and such siblings are deified while are less favored siblings are ostracized, often treated as odd siblings out.
There are siblings who believe in fair play and respect while there are siblings who routinely use upmanship and gamemanship as methods of relating to each other.There are siblings who are happy at other siblings' success, encouraging and nurturing the latter towards success. Conversely, there are siblings who HATE that other siblings are more successful than they are.Some would go lengths to sabotage, even ruin the other siblings' chances of success.
There are envious siblings who hate other siblings because of physical appearance, talents, and/or innate psychologies.There are also siblings who deride and disdain other siblings because of their psychological makeup, disabilities, physical appearance, and IQ. There are siblings who stay together for life while some just simply grow apart because they develop different interests and beliefs.
Many siblings disassociate from other siblings because they have acquired a lifestyle that is divergent different from their other siblings. For example, a sibling may attended college whereas his/her other siblings did not and the former believes that because of his/her educational attainment, there is no longer a commonality.So he/she disassociate from his/her sibling bond and find people with whom he/she has a commonality with.
Yes, there are siblings who stick together because of family obligation. They feel that because they are blood,they have to tolerate each other. They tend to act perfunctory towards each other. This is akin to a toxic emotional incest. They MUST be with each other as they believe there is NO ONE ELSE.
by Elayne 5 years ago
I was born and raised in one area and then after getting married have lived most of my life far away from my siblings. It has been hard to keep the relationship going, although it really was never that close to begin with - how about yours?
by Jami Johnson 4 years ago
Who's smarter the first born or the second born (or the third or forth)?I always hear, the first born child is smarter because they have more attention from the parents.... or the second born is smarter because of the older brother/sister, etc... So what do you believe? Are the first born children...
by Diane Inside 3 years ago
Do any of you have parents like this. I love my parents but sometimes I feel like mine do this. I have no children, but both my sister and brother do. So they seem to help them all the time. My dad often goes to do maintanance around my sisters house and often helps my brother financially. I...
by Kevin Peter 6 years ago
Are the youngest kid loved most by parents?Once a mother told me that when she had her second baby she started feeling that her elder child was very big. She started loving her younger kid more. Though she loved her first kid, the feeling that the younger one is too small made her feel so. Is it...
by RBJ33 6 years ago
My wife has adult children as I do - are those adult children related? Or just friends?My wife and I were married late in life - we both have adult children, you have their children and in a couple of cases have grandchildren. Is there any relationships there - I know step-sisters or...
by Sumi 11 months ago
Why is that the youngest child gets most attention in a family?Not always, but usually that's the scenario. May be in 70% of the cases..!?!
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