How did you heal from a dysfunctional childhood?

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   Compliancemommyposted 10 years ago

   How did you heal from a dysfunctional childhood?
   
   Adults who have survived a difficult childhood, whether having dealt with emotional or physical abuse, an addicted or mentally ill parent, or having been the black sheep of the family. How did you heal from the events of your childhood and (or) how does it affect you in your adult life?

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2. 79

   cathylynn99posted 10 years ago

   i attended a support group for children of alcoholics for about five years. also read a lot of self-help books.

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3. 61

   Penny Gposted 10 years ago

   As an adult I do not want to carry on this disfunction. Even though we lived it; as adults we have choices, can't change the past, leave it behind do something different, we have so many resources today to help us change what we did not agree with , learn from them make a better future for ourselves as well as the new generation we bring into lthis world.

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      Compliancemommyposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      That's excellent advice, thank you.

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4. 68

   choneycuttposted 10 years ago

   You don't heal from a dysfunctional childhood.  You move on by forgiving, forgetting, and treating it like a learning experience.  My mom was an alcoholic, manipulator, adulterer, and she was addicted to gambling.  Her mental instability took a toll on my whole family.  I did hate her for some time as a teenager,  However, now I don't blame her for the troubles she put my family through.  I forgave her because I realized that she may be a total screw up, but she couldn't help it.  That is just who she is.  She did love us; she just sucked at making her actions consistent with her feelings.
   
   I also simply forgot the misdeeds of the past.  Shutting out traumatic experiences from your memory is the best way to avoid from suffering from PTSD.  I do not ruminate on the bad times because the past is past and thus irrelevant to me right now.  No matter what terrible things happen to you, you can still be happy so long as you do not focus on the bad or view your life in a negative manner.
   
   Also, I learned from my mother.  All her behaviors that I did not like caused me to avoid turning out like her.  I learned at a young age never to douse pain in alcohol or to succumb to the futility of gambling or to depend on others.  It made me a better person overall.  I have not healed from the dysfunctional childhood; I just took control of my life by looking at it in a positive way.
   
   The whole messed up mother ordeal actually made me more responsible.  My little brother (he is 6 years younger) needed to be taken care of.  So, I changed him, fed him, bathed him, took him to school, and tried to teach and discipline him myself.  The only thing I will never forgive my mother for is the fact that she drank alcohol while pregnant with my little brother and she never took care of him.  Because of these things, my brother has been developmentally disabled by about 4 years for quite some time.  I cannot forgive her for that because only my little brother can do so.  You can only truly be forgiven by the person you have wronged.

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      Compliancemommyposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      my story is actually pretty similar. my mother was also a alcoholic, and obviously mentally illI, very abusive. I also have a developmentally disabled brother. My mother took her own life in 2006 which was a relief but also traumatic.

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5. 48

   Evaneposted 10 years ago

   I think it is a matter of perspective. What you think about life.

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