What are the ways that religious, particularly extremely religious, home environments produce the
most defiant, even rebellious children?
I would think one of the leading things would be the repression of sexual freedom. Once any lies told about that get exposed, I imagine it's a sinking ship for everything else and rebellion is on the horizon.
I think it depends on how the parents carry out the religion in the home. My parents were very strict and overbearing, creating a cult-like atmosphere where absolute obedience was expected. I loved the color black and I was a tom boy, my parents made rules around me, my dad decreed that we could only buy clothes that were colorful, then that we had to keep our hair shoulder length, then my stepmom started making us wear make-up, then my dad decided every Sunday we had to wear dresses.
Every attempt was made to drown out any individuality and protests were considered rebellion.
We also were not allowed to have any boundaries, we had to share everything, even things we consider special, because of memories. If we did not share we were grounded. If we didn't let our siblings in our room, because we wanted to spend time alone, we were grounded.
Once I left their household, I stopped going to church for awhile, began to dress in all black and cursed like a sailor. I also rigidly enforced my boundaries and still do.
I wasn't as "rebellious" as some might get, but I was a little out of control until I was able to figure out who I was apart from who they wanted me to be.
Which was a perfect Proverbs 31 woman.
There is a big difference between strict indoctrination and loving guidance within the parameters of religious beliefs. If a child is raised in a Christian household, for example, that child should start at an early age with the knowledge that God created him/her as a unique person that He loves unconditionally. A healthy spiritual relationship evolves and grows through thankfulness, tests of faith, and trust. It is not something that can be forced on a person through threats and aggressive behavior. This fear-mongering approach usually results in low-esteem, sometimes self-hatred, which reflects outwardly as defiance and self-destructive behavior. The worst scenario is unbridled anger and seething resentment which we have seen result in random killing sprees. Sometimes these are motivated by fervent and misguided interpretations of scripture.
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