What would you do if you were stuck at home with a toddler and a newborn all day every day?
Being a housewife has it's perks, but let's be honest, I'd more than likely rip all of my hair out if it meant I could get one day of rest and not be constantly worried about my kids.
You should cherish every moment. Because thats what the "future you" would say. But you do need some rest and time for yourself. Maybe your mother or family could help.
Maybe you need to work one day a week to get out of the house. I was able to stay home 1 year with my son, and I thought it was really nice and not at all stressful. For me, it was awesome!
But you are not me. Lots of women would love not having to work both outside and inside the home. It could be that you need more mental stimulation. Have you thought about signing up for an online class? You could make time if you put your mind to it, and you would learn some interesting things as well.
Having a spouse gone for three weeks at a time makes you feel as if you're not just a "stay at home mom" but a single parent.
The issue probably isn't so much about being at home with two children as it is not being engaged with adults throughout the day.
You feel isolated from the rest of world and it gets boring!
Load them up in a dual stroller and go for walks, check out some of the mother groups on Meetup.com, have playdates with other stay at home mothers with children, if possible have the grandparents watch them for a few hours every now and then while you go meet a girlfriend for lunch, run errands, or shop at the mall...etc
Lastly if it's possible you might want to look into going with your husband to California as a family especially if his company puts him up in a hotel similar to Residence Inn or Extended Stay when he's there for three weeks. They have two bedrooms & full kitchens.
This way when he comes back from the office you'd have some family time and can take in some sights over the weekends.
Go to library story times where the children get to sit and play or listen for an hour.
Join a gym that will watch the children for free while you work out for an hour.
Swap baby sitting with other parents where you watch their children one evening, they watch your children another, so you can have date night with your spouse (even if only dinner and a movie at home).
I had been a stay-at-home mom (and a big worrier too!) for some years now; taking care of my five-year old daughter. While it thus seem that cherishing every moment is the best thing to do, still there will be days which can make me feel like so exhausted and somehow alienated from the outside world, especially when my hubby works for longer hours.
Video calling my friends or family while my daughter is napping is one of the best things that keep me sane, Also, listening to my favorite music while cooking and doing the laundry somehow soothes my tired soul.
May I suggest that you try to have some "ME Time" and do things that you like on your own? Me, I do like taking quick walks in the mall or just play my favorite video games while hubby looks after our little girl.
I didn't experience that but it feels like tiring and enjoyable maybe as well ..
First of all, you aren't "stuck" unless you've cemented your feet to the floor. You're free to get outdoors, take your babies for a leisurely walk, enjoy the fresh air and possibly talk with some adult neighbors.
Do whatever possible to synchronize the children's nap time together & you take a nap in the same room or close by. Catching a little sleep can do wonders for our frame of mind.
Try to make small changes in your routine if it seems too mechanical & boring to you. Arrange to have a friend & her child visit for an hour or two.
And while you're visiting, suggest the idea of exchanging favors with this Mom. If the 2 of you can supervise each other's kids while one of you goes shopping, or out to lunch or to see a movie, that can be just the break you both need, maybe every 2 weeks or so.
Good luck. You don't realize this yet, but your babies will grow up and leave home so quickly, looking back will astound you! I sincerely wish you & your family much happiness.
by sunbun143 6 years ago
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