Should I, when at home, help my wife in her work?

1. 77

   m abdullah javedposted 10 years ago

   Should I, when at home, help my wife in her work?

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   Penny Gposted 10 years ago

   If she does not have a job, that is her job, full time. I never expected my husband to help when he went to work all day and I was home. Home was my work, fair trade I think. Just be sure you give a credit for all she does. I know women who stay home do nothing, the house is a mess the kids aren't cared for meals are not cooked, dishes piled up when their husbands come home. If I was a man, I would be very upset about that.

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      m abdullah javedposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      You are true, but what if she is overloaded with work, no one around her to help, then? Again, what about the development of her intellectual & cultural aspects? when & how can she get time & required mood to concentrate on these aspects?

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      Penny Gposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      If she has other interests outside the home that is different but a stay at home Mom can keep up I did it with 6 children,. My husband had his job this was mine.

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   dashingscorpioposted 10 years ago

   Ask if she would like you to help her.
   I have known women who appreciate help around the house and I've known women who felt (they) were the only one who do the job "right" and therefore wanted their husbands to stay out of the way or not attempt to help. Their way is the "only way" to do it!
   Having said that even under those circumstances there are usually (some) chores a wife will "trust" a husband to do a decent job with.

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      m abdullah javedposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Hi dash, seems to be experienced one , both should have a fair understanding of finishing off the household activities. If things like worship,children education etc becomes priority then contribution of husband in wife's work'll have significance.

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   Edward J. Palumboposted 10 years ago

   If it's a labor-intensive task, and a helping hand would make it easier, it is certainly appropriate to ask, "Can I help?" On the other hand, if it's a technique-sensitive task and she has her method, preferring not to be "helped", I am not offended when my wife tells me she'd prefer to do it herself. My wife relaxes by gardening, and she is the family's "Green Thumb"; I am the family's "Agent Orange". If she's in the garden and it's a matter of picking up what has been cut or pruned, I can be helpful, but if she is planting new flowers or bulbs, I do well to watch and enjoy the smile on her face as she works. If we've had guests and there's a pile of dishes to be dealt with, I can certainly be useful with that. My wife and I are a team, and I cannot sit and rest while she's buzzing about with housework. I should add, my wife works full-time in a stressful environment, and she deserves every moment of rest she gets.

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      m abdullah javedposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks Edward sir,a lot to learn from a good couple like you,may God bless you with many years of happy living.Just wanted to ask are there any co-ordinating activities with regard to studying books,discusing on social issues or children's education?

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   bethperryposted 10 years ago

   m abudllah javed, the difference for a marriage partner works who works outside the home and the partner whose duties are in the home is that while the first partner typically has only a certain fixed number of work hours per week and can look forward to a determined period of "weekend" hours, the at-home partner does not have this benefit. Taking care of a home -especially if there are children- is a very hard job. And as you have expressed concern for the cultural and intellectual options your wife can enjoy, it would be good if you could offer to let her enjoy her pursuits for some hours during the week. When my husband and I got married, he was the breadwinner while I was the stay-at-home wife and mom. I had no problems with this whatsoever, but over time I decided I wanted to spend more time at my hobby of writing. My husband -a generous and wonderful man- would take over some chores every week and even watched our little ones a few evenings every week so I could do this. Because of his help, sacrifice and encouragement that hobby turned ino a profession. I have had books released through a major publisher, and today sales of those books contribute to our income. While I still feel like my most important job is to be at home for the children, my husband is very proud of my accomplishments. And he has every right to be - because without the sacrifices he made I would never have had time to pursue my interests. I firmly believe that even in marriages where the roles are more traditional, loving partners help one another to realize their potential. For when we love someone we want to see them succeed and be happy just as much -perhaps even more- as we desire this for ourselves. And I feel the fact that you are asking this question shows you value your wife as a real partner and friend. I wish you and your wife all the best!

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      m abdullah javedposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Excellent Beth and thanks for the kind words & wishes. If we ensure love and understanding between the couples as is your case then very soon the world will say "behind every successful woman there is a man”.

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   DDEposted 10 years ago

   Most men feel they shouldn't help their wives  with her work at home. I think if she is a stay home mum then she has all day to get her work done. Unless she is too buys with a day job and the house work then you should try give hand to what she needs  attention.

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   1. 77

      m abdullah javedposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Devika thanks, you are right she needs help when the work load is high. I think once in a while help possible only when both have a fair understanding, if its there then husband will always be there to lend his support for her.

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   Angelladywriterposted 10 years ago

   Most definitely. It is not only considerate to do so but it also makes a good impression upon your wife that you genuinely appreciate her efforts to maintain a nice, clean home for your family. Keep up the helpful work.

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      m abdullah javedposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks Angel, I appreciate your thoughts.

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   peachpurpleposted 10 years ago

   depends on what work you are refering to. Housework, oh yes please, if office work, depends whether she needs or not. Just let her know you are there

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   1. 77

      m abdullah javedposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Hi, i mean at home, thaks for your good response.

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