Do you agree that parents of small families view & treat their children as more rare & precious than
parents of large families who tend to view their children as tolerable burdens, numbers, & as part of a collective?
The flipside of that is when you have an only child, the expectations and burdens on that child tend to be much higher. Or the horror and turmoil when your only child says "I don't want to have children".
We balanced it by having two children. Not as much pressure as a single child, like my husband, not a lot more work than a single child. And important to us, when we pass, our children have each other instead of being alone.
For large families, you have to move toward a more collectivist view to have the family operate - including delegating work to the older siblings and sacrificing individual interests for the financial and social good of the household.
Very large families are a throwback to when women traditionally had 6-8 children ... but only two or three on average grew up. Smaller families are the reflection of the human ideal of 2 children to replace the parents.
In small families, children are viewed & treated as more precious. They also are treated & respected as individuals. Even oldest children in small families are valued & not cast aside. They are treated & valued on equal parity w/their youngest sibling. In small families, children are planned for hence they are wanted & loved by their parents.
By contrast, in large families, children oftentimes aren't planned. They are oftentimes viewed as tolerable burdens, even noisome obligations. In large families, children are treated quite unequally. Oldest/older children are cast aside, even discarded in favor of younger siblings. Oldest/older children, if not cast aside, are only valued when they are in service 24/7/365 to parents & younger siblings. Individuality is frowned upon, even viewed as morally wrong in large families. Children are treated herd-like & viewed as a group.
Parents of small families enjoy & relish their children while parents of large families see their children as tolerable at best & as burdens to get out the way at worst. There is more instances of child neglect & abuse in large families because the children are far more than what parents can physically, emotionally, psychologically, & even psychically handle. Parents of small families have a span of control while parents of large families.....DON'T.
By the evidence of things, parents of small families love children in the loving ways such children are treated. By contrast, parents of large families really don't love their children. They treat the oldest/older children as persona non grata unless such children are needed to be in service, middle children are truly ignored, & the younger children are pampered.
Children aren't really & truly loved in large families. However, children are cared for & loved in small families. The former is why many children in large families gravitate towards gangs & girls from large families tend to be victims of teenage pregnancies. They are getting the love that they didn't receive from their parents. Children from large families have unmet needs which will cripple them emotionally as adults while children from small families have their needs met & are well-adjusted. Children from small families have a HIGH sense of self while children of large families have NO sense of self & actually hate themselves.
by Grace Marguerite Williams2 years ago
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by Nichol marie2 months ago
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