My sister drives me crazy
I am soo PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!
You have NO idea, I wanted to hit her...but I never let myself get out of control.
She has had issues with me since she was 14, and says I act holier than thou....when I don't she hates the fact that I chose to make different decisions in life than her.
She buys me things when I don't want or ask for them and then calls me ungrateful even when I say thanks....
She's still at university, because she f*cked up her course and has 2 more years to complete.
She's made some bad decisions and I don't condemn her for them...in fact she has a bad atttude with the family but is sweet to everyone else...and gets everything...I mean her luck is insane. That pissed me off when I was younger I couldn't get how someone so hurtful, rude and disrespectful always wound up with whatever she wanted. GRRRRR
I've made peace with that...but she says things, mean things like calling me a failure and that everything I'd do will fail...she never wants to give any input when I ask her to red my hubs or help with my blog.
I always end up apologising when it's her starting all the sh*t. I always try to make amends. I'm at wits end now....it's hard any advice...sorry for the long read.
I know I'm to blame sometimes and can tease when I shouldn't.
Our family extend included are fully aware that she's a bitch I mean... a bitch you can love or have to love...I should probably write a hub
Now Sa Toya, I expect more from you, you are a woman, an intellegent woman, so lets talk to sister and make up.....
Hey Sa Toya,
I know how difficult family members can be to deal with. My family isn't the greatest.
However, with that said. Do you feel that you are honest when you deal with her? Do you feel your actions are honest to you?
Are you willing to accept that you are human and move on?
The method in which I can advise is to simply continue to live your life, in the manner you see fit and let her words roll off your shoulders, to not let it bother you. I know this can be difficult, but stay focused on yourself and when she is nice to you, be nice back. When she is mean to you, then be nice to her some more.
Doing this, throws out all negative energy she brings, either to you via her actions or diminishes her effect when she speaks. Stop asking her for assistance. When she gives you something, kill her with kindness. Throw her out of whack by stealing her energy(a positive smile or excited reactions, even mimicked, deflates negativity).
I understand how angry you can be, but do realize that you've already proven to yourself that you are above her petty actions. And, I know you're looking for help, hence why I responded.
I hope I did help. Good luck going forward.
Thanks alot Cags....It's so hard killing her with kindness sometimes...she can be really nasty.
But I think it's worth the effort me, my peace of mind and sanity. I'm no angry anymore...since reading this I just feel a bit embarrassed because we just had an absolute screaming match.
It's gonna be tough but thanks for the advice and reading my rant...
I'll be using it
You're welcome. Glad I could help. I know it will be difficult, I still to this day get abused by my sister, her mannerisms and her method for looking into my life, is skewed by knowledge she doesn't have. So, what's that tell you? Just another thought.
Sa Toya honey, you haven't made peace with it...otherwise it wouldn't bother you this much.
I find myself in your shoes a lot. I have sister (although she is not a bad person) who can be very self-centered.
On those days when I feel like I'm going to explode, I do exactly what you just did, but I do it verbally. I get on the phone (or sometimes just talk to my boyfriend) and do my ranting and raving about whatever it is that she's done to piss me off...and then I breathe.
It's taken years of practice, but this is what seems to work for me. We have no control over other people's actions, we can only work on learning how to deal with them.
Sorry that I gave you a verbal spanking then....I just dont like to see you up set
I should mention that I have 8 sisters....
I had a cousin like that but I can't tell you what I did for three more years, statute of limitations and all that!
Texan, hear what your saying.....some times a good spanking can do the trick...
family is hard cuz you love them, they have the power to really get to you. try to explain calmly how her actions make you feel, when your both calm. but dont expect a change. hope you feel better soon.
Yes alot of PMS why do you think I left home when I was 16, at least there was no surprises when I went on my first date...I knew everything about girls....well it was a small house...
justine76 - feeling your vibe there, good advise...
They often fought with me as I had a pet rooster and they were jealous......
When my younger sis decided to be a royal *****, I told her I would not talk to her again until she was ready to be nice. If she called, and started in, I would say goodbye and hang up. I refused to see her in person.
This year, for Christmas, I sent her a gift for the first time in several years. She called, and we had the best conversation we have had in three or four years. (It had been close to 2 years since we had talked.)
Yes Taxan they did, and I ..remember..a time ..when my rooster was so scared he went up the leg of my sisters tights....and as I was telling her to take of her tights and I would take out my rooster...my Mammy walked in....I was grounded...
Thanks brother, I should have said my other 7 sisters were already grounded.....I wasnt happy but at least I wasnt lonely....
Sa Toya, I hope you feel better now......
I have two younger sisters that can be a combination of this...except for buying me random stuff.
Though I love them, one is very self-absorbed and catty, while the other one is materialistic and conceited at times.
I know I can be a dick, but usually looking out for their own good when they do stupid things.
I've learned that I can't win in a vocal argument. I don't like yelling. I usually am blunt, say my peace without raising my voice and walk away. That really gets them going.
It's a losing battle for me but then they are the ones getting in real trouble usually...bleh. xD
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