What to do when you're sister is a complete and utter *****? Help!

1. 83

   Sa Toyaposted 14 years ago

   My sister drives me crazy
   
   I am soo PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!
   
   You have NO idea, I wanted to hit her...but I never let myself get out of control.
   
   She has had issues with me since she was 14, and says I act holier than thou....when I don't she hates the fact that I chose to make different decisions in life than her.
   
   She buys me things when I don't want or ask for them and then calls me ungrateful even when I say thanks....
   
   She's still at university, because she f*cked up her course and has 2 more years to complete.
   
   She's made some bad decisions and I don't condemn her for them...in fact she has a bad atttude with the family but is sweet to everyone else...and gets everything...I mean her luck is insane. That pissed me off when I was younger I couldn't get how someone so hurtful, rude and disrespectful always wound up with whatever she wanted. GRRRRR
   
   I've made peace with that...but she says things, mean things like calling me a failure and that everything I'd do will fail...she never wants to give any input when I ask her to red my hubs or help with my blog.
   
   I always end up apologising when it's her starting all the sh*t. I always try to make amends. I'm at wits end now....it's hard any advice...sorry for the long read.
   
   I know I'm to blame sometimes and can tease when I shouldn't.
   Our family extend included are fully aware that she's a bitch I mean... a bitch you can love or have to love...I should probably write a hub

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      falcon64posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Hold your temper! Whatsoever happen she is still your sister. Always bear in mind..."Blood is ticker than water."

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         Sa Toyaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Agrred! Though it's easier said than done!!!!

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2. 61

   theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

   Now Sa Toya, I expect more from you, you are a woman, an intellegent woman, so lets talk to sister and make up.....

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      Sa Toyaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      lol
      
      I know..........but I have no where else to whine...vent!

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3. 70

   Cagsilposted 14 years ago

   Hey Sa Toya,
   
   I know how difficult family members can be to deal with. My family isn't the greatest.
   
   However, with that said. Do you feel that you are honest when you deal with her?  Do you feel your actions are honest to you?
   
   Are you willing to accept that you are human and move on?
   
   The method in which I can advise is to simply continue to live your life, in the manner you see fit and let her words roll off your shoulders, to not let it bother you. I know this can be difficult, but stay focused on yourself and when she is nice to you, be nice back. When she is mean to you, then be nice to her some more.
   
   Doing this, throws out all negative energy she brings, either to you via her actions or diminishes her effect when she speaks. Stop asking her for assistance. When she gives you something, kill her with kindness. Throw her out of whack by stealing her energy(a positive smile or excited reactions, even mimicked, deflates negativity).
   
   I understand how angry you can be, but do realize that you've already proven to yourself that you are above her petty actions. And, I know you're looking for help, hence why I responded.
   
   I hope I did help. Good luck going forward.

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   1. 83

      Sa Toyaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      
      
      Thanks alot Cags....It's so hard killing her with kindness sometimes...she can be really nasty.
      
      But I think it's worth the effort me, my peace of mind and sanity. I'm no angry anymore...since reading this I just feel a bit embarrassed because we just had an absolute screaming match.
      
      It's gonna be tough but thanks for the advice and reading my rant...
      
      I'll be using it

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         Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         You're welcome. Glad I could help.   I know it will be difficult, I still to this day get abused by my sister, her mannerisms and her method for looking into my life, is skewed by knowledge she doesn't have. So, what's that tell you? Just another thought.

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         1. 83

            Sa Toyaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            
            
            lol I'm actually smiling  now like proper...hahahahaha cheered me right up!

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4. 0

   Wendi Mposted 14 years ago

   Sa Toya honey, you haven't made peace with it...otherwise it wouldn't bother you this much.
   
   I find myself in your shoes a lot.  I have sister (although she is not a bad person) who can be very self-centered. 
   
   On those days when I feel like I'm going to explode, I do exactly what you just did, but I do it verbally.  I get on the phone (or sometimes just talk to my boyfriend) and do my ranting and raving about whatever it is that she's done to piss me off...and then I breathe.
   
   It's taken years of practice, but this is what seems to work for me.  We have no control over other people's actions, we can only work on learning how to deal with them.
   
   Good luck,
   Wendi

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   1. 83

      Sa Toyaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I usually don't vent about her...that could be my problem.
      
      She's not a bad person but is mean towards me especially she's fine with everyone else..........
      
      Looks like I need to kill her with kindness and vent more.

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5. 61

   theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

   Sorry that I gave you a verbal spanking then....I just dont like to see you up set

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      Sa Toyaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Cheers...I don't mind...
      I semi needed it...I can draw anger out for a looooong time
      
      8 sisters...bloody hell how do you do it!!!!!!!!
      
      That's alot of PMS and general female drama.

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6. 61

   theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

   I should mention that I have 8 sisters....

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7. 0

   A Texanposted 14 years ago

   I had a cousin like that but I can't tell you what I did for three more years, statute of limitations and all that!

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      Wendi Mposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      LOL...now humor works too!

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         A Texanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I'm serious! 3 years and I will talk, not a minute before.

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            Sa Toyaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            lol

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            Wendi Mposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Ok, I'll be right here.

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8. 61

   theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

   Texan, hear what your saying.....some times a good spanking can do the trick...

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9. 0

   Justine76posted 14 years ago

   family is hard cuz you love them, they have the power to really get to you. try to explain calmly how her actions make you feel, when your both calm. but dont expect a change. hope you feel better soon.

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      Sa Toyaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      forgot to say cheers...I feel better

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10. 61

    theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

    Yes alot of PMS why do you think I left home when I was 16, at least there was no surprises when I went on my first date...I knew everything about girls....well it was a small house...

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       Sa Toyaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       
       well a whole lot of sisters does have it's perks.

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          A Texanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          Do you have nude pillow fights? Talk slow!

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11. 61

    theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

    justine76 - feeling your vibe there, good advise...

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12. 61

    theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

    They often fought with me as I had a pet rooster and they were jealous......

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       A Texanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       They come to snuff the rooster

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    Ivorwenposted 14 years ago

    When my younger sis decided to be a royal *****, I told her I would not talk to her again until she was ready to be nice.  If she called, and started in, I would say goodbye and hang up.  I refused to see her in person.
    
    This year, for Christmas, I sent her a gift for the first time in several years.  She called, and we had the best conversation we have had in three or four years. (It had been close to 2 years since we had talked.)

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14. 61

    theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

    Yes Taxan they did, and I ..remember..a time ..when my rooster was so scared he went up the leg of my sisters tights....and as I was telling her to take of her tights and I would take out my rooster...my Mammy walked in....I was grounded...

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       A Texanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       The luck of the Irish!

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15. 61

    theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

    Thanks brother, I should have said my other 7 sisters were already grounded.....I wasnt happy but at least I wasnt lonely....

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    theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

    Sa Toya, I hope you feel better now......

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       Sa Toyaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       I do waiting on football to start now!! cheers irish

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17. 68

    torimariposted 14 years ago

    I have two younger sisters that can be a combination of this...except for buying me random stuff.
    
    Though I love them, one is very self-absorbed and catty, while the other one is materialistic and conceited at times.
    
    I know I can be a dick, but usually looking out for their own good when they do stupid things.
    
    I've learned that I can't win in a vocal argument. I don't like yelling. I usually am blunt, say my peace without raising my voice and walk away. That really gets them going.
    
    It's a losing battle for me but then they are the ones getting in real trouble usually...bleh. xD

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       Sa Toyaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Story f my life...I don't like shouting but she can take me to that point.
       
       I never really win and always end up saying sorry first...I don't like going to bed angry....and you're right they'r the ones getting into trouble....

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18. 59

    NewYorkerposted 14 years ago

    Be a bitch back! Easy!

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