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What Not to Name Your Baby

Updated on September 28, 2020
LouCannon profile image

Writer and Photographer - Life is there for experiencing, which I live each and every day to do!


Please: Don't burden your child with the curse of a really bad name!

Names are bestowed upon us by our parents, obviously without our input and we have no choice in the matter... ahh how the name matters! Hopefully your parents did a good job, where your name is concerned, after all no one deserves the punishment of going around with a name like 'Woody Held', former shortstop for the Cleveland Indians. A name sure says a lot about a person, if we want it to or not!

My advice? Stay away from first times like: Dick -- No kid needs that first haunting them! -- I have never met a 'Dick' that did not suffer at some point or another over their first name...

Bestow a name worthy of your child, that shows them you love them and will allow them to flow through the school years with out torture and into adulthood feeling grown up... "Oh yes, there you are 'Missy'... Can you gather that file and meet me in the boardroom'. Hmmm. Do you think that the people addressing 'Missy' are taking her at face value, for who she is, or do you think that perhaps, just maybe, her first name is leaving a lasting impression -- especially on paper, where there is no direct person to person contact...

Lets get this right for the children of tomorrow!

Rule #1

If the name rhymes with something vulgar, or a quick easy slam -- AVOID THAT NAME AT ALL COSTS!

Names that rhyme easily to multiple words or vulgar words make easy targets for bullies and harassers. Now it would be nice to think that these cruel people do not exist, but we all know that they do... So lets be wise and chose no to give them fuel against our children!

Now I know, people need to be responsible for their actions, no one should ever act or speak inappropriately to another person, but the truth is, it happens...

Take a defensive role for your child by playing the Rhyme Game, when planning out what to name your baby...

EXAMPLE: 'Hey look! It's Carter-The-Farter!!!' -- No thanks!

Carter: Farter, Tarter

Cooper: Blooper, Pooper

Jack, Mack and Zach: Flack, Hack, Pack, Slack, Smack, Track, Lack, Whack

Joe: Blow, Crow, Hoe, Toe

Chloe: Hoey, Blowy

Anne and Jan: Ban, Can, Fan, Man, Pan, Ran, Tan

Duke: Puke, Tuque

Give your a child a name that will make them happy with life...


Rule #2

Rule out names that are easily associated or manipulated to go with crude or offensive words.

This child will have this name for the rest of his or her life; be a responsible parent and ensure that your child will not endure stress because of your negligence --


Jack:Jack-ass, Jack-off

Liam: Liam-Disease aka Lyme-Disease

Matthew / Matt: Doormat

Max: Maxi-pad

Scarlett: Scar, Scar-face

Rule #3

Do your research

Look it up in one of the baby naming books -- Does it give a positive or negative description of the meaning of that name???

There are so many resources available now-a-days. Both on-line and in print format. Personally I prefer a book that I can go through with a high-lighter and pen. Any names that make the grade get high-lighted, others get crossed out. But if you are one of those modern people you might find this site useful and interesting:

A good name can be the start to a great life!


Your child will have this name for life! Let it bring them joy, happiness and empowerment!


As an adult do you feel that your name...

See results

Rule #4

Search it on the net: Plop the name in discussion into a search engine or two... What comes up?

In Google, I typed in my very own name (first and last) and what I came up with was a lot, and I mean a lot of other people with my name! Personal trainers, women on Pintrest, Twitter and Facebook... An Opera lover and an investment manager... I like what I found... Sharing the same name with others happens -- with so many people in the world it is very likely to happen... I also did a search for my full name, first, middle and last, verbatim and found only six hits...! Love it!!! My name is not overused!!!

When I did a search for some other names one that I found that might not be so great was Joe... No don't get me wrong... I love the name Joe, even debating on using it for one of my own children (and if she was born a he, he would have been named Joe!)... But what I found with Joe is underwear... --- Do you want to be known for underwear? I am pretty sure your kid doesn't either!!! Yes, do a search engine check of the name in question, first and last, and also first, middle and last...


Did you get bullied growing up over your name?

See results

Rule #5

Research famous people with the name -- are they a good, famous, bad, insane or an axe murderer...

Did you know??? Some places control what you can and can not name your child.

Take Sonora, where some names are outright banned! Like: Terminator, Facebook, Hitler, Rambo and Batman... Makes you wonder what the people of Sonora have attempted to name their children to established a list of banned names...

Names will leave lasting impressions ~

It is our duty as parents to make sure it a good one!

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2014 Lou Cannon


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