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American McDonalds and the case of the fat fingers.

Updated on June 8, 2011
McDonald's Arches
McDonald's Arches

My sense of Humour

I recently took a trip to a McDonald's in Winnipeg, Manitoba in the good ol' country of Canada. Well, it really wasn't much of a trip because I live there. But either way, I lived in the USA for a long time and never really thought much of the fact that almost every McDonald's that I went to in almost every town had little auto-pour switches on their ketchup dispensers. Now at first glance this looks harmless. But going to the McDonald's in the Peg really made me stop for about 7 seconds and think to myself, "Why does this ketchup dispenser actually make me pump out the ketchup?" Then it dawned on me. Americans have fat fingers.

Now before you all go around bashing me because I said that you have fat fingers you must remember, I am one of you. I was born and raised American. Please note I gave American a capital "A". That means respect. I mean, how many people actually forget to capitalize the "A" but I took the time to do it. But back on track to the fat finger syndrome of American McDonald's. By now we should all know that McDonald's is not a healthy supplement for you. Sure it is good every once in a while but in all actuality, one Big Mac equals almost your entire days worth of calories and fat. To be blunt, it is horrible for you and is one of the biggest causes in obesity in America today among the young and old.

So now to the main point of this article. Why in the world would one of the most unhealthy fast food restaurants make you even more lazy by offering a flip switch ketchup dispenser. The answer is beyond me. Is it because they want to look high-tech? Or is it because they think the extra ounce of laziness will bring them more business? Who knows. But what I do know is that the fat finger syndrome will never end as long as McDonald's promotes this kind of behavior. Is it really that hard to put in the effort to pump out your own ketchup? If you want arms like Arnold maybe you'll have to do a little more than ketchup dispensing.

Definitely don't take me serious. Your fingers probably will not end up weighing 396.2 pounds but you might. Just imagine if your fingers did weigh that much though. What would they look like? Would they be allowed to be out in public? Probably so. But that's not saying I promote it. So, take it upon yourself to at least request ketchup packets so your fingers do get that extra bit of exercise that almost every American eating McDonald's fan needs. Or if you wanted to be hardcore, you could do away with ketchup completely. You could become a sweet and sour sauce kind of person. Or even BBQ for that matter. They don't have dispensers for that yet. You still have to grit your teeth and rip that big bad dipping sauce open. But who knows. They may have an auto-pour switch for that too in the near future too.

But you should definitely go out and get you that Big Mac that you are craving. It is the American way. Just remember what I have told you these past couple of minutes when you are standing there by the drink machines watching your little white paper ketchup cup fill up automatically while you just sit there and allow your fingers to become more obese. Have a wonderful day!


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