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Honey, What's For Dinner?

Updated on December 12, 2015

"Honey, why don't we grab a couple of burgers for dinner tonight?" my lovely wife asked this evening. It had been a very long, rough day for both of us and the evening and dinnertime snuck up on us. I had made it home shortly after 5:00 PM and found our son working hard at his homework, my wife finishing Christmas shopping for the year online and I was beat: the last couple of days have been challenging at work and my attempts at dieting had met with some success but tonight I was in the mood for a treat. So when she suggested burgers, well that sounded pretty good to me.

Oh, how I was to regret that decision.

5:45 PM We leave the house to travel to the golden arches for a meal from the dollar menu. Not healthy but sometimes ya just gotta have some junk food. As we pulled up to order, I suddenly had a change of heart. For some reason, a chili cheese coney popped into my mind.

"Honey, instead of a burger I think I'll get a coney across the street after we get burgers and fries for the kids. Would you prefer something from over there?"

She considered this for a nanosecond then said, "Well, we can get the kids those chicken strip sandwiches from their dollar menu so let's just go there."

With nary another thought, I pulled out of the line and headed across the street.

5:55 PM Pull into the parking spot and make our decision. With our order in mind, I pressed the button and waited.

5:57 PM "Thank you for choosing S_n_c, my name is Mary; how can I help you tonight?" A young, nervous, yet moderately pleasant voice wafted across the tinny speaker.

"Yes, I need two chicken strip sandwiches plain..."

(voice interrupts) "Would you like those crispy or grilled?"

(Never been asked that before) "Crunchy."

"Will that be all?"

(Me shaking my head) "No, I also need a chicken strip sandwich with everything...crunchy!"

"Okay, one moment please." (What, am I on hold here?) I look at my wife and shrug my shoulders, waiting.

(Voice comes back) "Will that be all?"

(Voice in my head yells Hell no, stop interrupting me!) External voice says "No. I also need one junior deluxe cheeseburger; two small fries; a mini order of onion rings; and a foot long chili cheese coney with tater tots deal."

"Just a moment."



Wait. Look at clock. 6:10 PM.

"Okay, let me read this back to you. Two chicken strip sandwiches, one plain, one regular. One chicken strip sandwich plain. Two small fries, one foot long chili cheese coney, an order of tater tots. Is that all?"

Frustration setting in. "No, there is also a junior deluxe cheeseburger and a mini order of onion rings."

"Would you like anything to drink with this?"

"No thank you."

"Okay. That will be $25.63. Thank you."

Explosions going off in my head. "That can't be right! Let's see, coney and tots, $4.00; three chicken strip sandwiches $4.50; two small fries, $2.50; mini order of onion rings, $1.00; junior deluxe cheeseburger $1.50. That's like$13, $14 bucks!"

"One moment please."

6:15 PM "Okay, this is Shelby and I will be helping you now. The other girl is new. Let me read this back to you. I have two chicken strip sandwiches, one plain, one regular. One chicken strip sandwich, plain. One junior deluxe cheeseburger, one regular onion ring, one chili cheese coney and a tater tot. Is that correct?"

"That is supposed to be a mini onion ring and also please add two small fries."

"Okay, let me just add two small fries and make that a mini onion ring. Okay, that brings the total to $24.87. Thank you!"

"Whoa whoa whoa! How can that possibly be right?!? Let's go over that again. Each chicken strip sandwich is $1.49 so basically we're talking $4.50. Chili cheese coney and tots is $3.99 so call that $4.00. Junior deluxe cheeseburger goes for $1.69. A small fry is $1.19 times two so call that $2.40. Mini onion ring is a buck. $4.50 plus $4 plus $2.40 plus $1.70 plus $1.00 brings the total to what, $13? $14 or so?!?!?"

"Oh, I am so sorry! You don't want the super deluxe chicken then? Okay, let me change that for you."

By this time, I was getting a tad more than frustrated. I looked at the clock on the dash (6:17 PM) and realized I had been trying to place my order for twenty (20!) minutes STRAIGHT! I reached for the key, looked at my wife and in that instant, she read my eyes and knew I was ready to leave. But she laid her hand on my arm and said "Patience!". Then, in a whisper added "I really don't want my food to be spit on so watch what you say!"

(Deep breath) "Okay babydoll, I will", then I wait for that melodious voice to emerge from the tiny speaker next to my window.

And wait.

And wait.

My wife said "You know there is no way this order is going to be right, don't you?"

I nod my head and agree. "Check it here when its delivered or at home?"


Finally, at 6:23 PM I heard "Alrighty then, that will be $14.31. Your order will be right out!" Perky as hell, borderline smarmy, completely irritating after all this time talking.

Finally, at 6:30 PM our order arrives. Or at least most of it. The carhop rushed back out with one last brown paper bag and thrust it at us with a smile. "You need any ketchup with that?"

"No thank you. Bye!" I look at my wife and ask "Check it before we go?"

"Ah, hell no; let's just leave!"

So we head home for a long delayed dinner. Once we arrive, sort out the items and check them out we realize: there was one mistake. All three of the chicken strip sandwiches were plain. I looked at the receipt to see and it was correct (miracle of miracles), someone just forgot to add the normal items to the one our daughter would eat. But what the heck; after all that we went through to even get this miserable meal, she could just eat the damn thing plain!

Heartburn city!
Heartburn city! | Source

So in the end, we got a should have been hot but ended up cold dinner full of empty calories, stale fries, three (3) onion rings, a crappy cheeseburger, a greasy chili cheese coney and a boatload full of frustration. All for the incredible price of over $14.00! What a bargain!

What happened? I understand that a new person was in training but the simple fact that she was unable to listen closely to what I was saying is what I perceive to be the new norm. She interrupted me several times even though I was speaking slowly and enunciating each word, the better to be understood on the other end of the connection. Then when she was replaced, the other girl was not much better, continuing to misunderstand simple directions. Oh well, serves me right for not having a ham sandwich and chips at home.

But in the end, I find it humorous if for no other reason than if I don't I will get upset again. And as my stomach was upset enough after that chili cheese coney, I think that is enough, don't you?


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    • Mr Archer profile imageAUTHOR

      Mr Archer 

      2 years ago from Missouri

      Thanks Larry, glad you enjoyed this. And Mike, I have not heard of that; seems kind of strange. But the demand for higher profits trumps all, doesn't it?

    • profile image

      Old Poolman 

      2 years ago

      Several of the (McD) in this area have eliminated the voice from the window. The customer gets to push the buttons to order, and then pay right out on the drive thru. I guess the demand for $15 per hour encouraged them to eliminate yet one more job.

    • profile image

      Old Poolman 

      2 years ago

      Several of the (McD) in this area have eliminated the voice from the window. The customer gets to push the buttons to order, and then pay right out on the drive thru. I guess the demand for $15 per hour encouraged them to eliminate yet one more job.

    • Larry Rankin profile image

      Larry Rankin 

      2 years ago from Oklahoma

      Sometimes one just has to laugh not to cry.

      Well written

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 

      2 years ago from Central Florida

      My favorite fast food burger comes from Checkers. Love their fries, too. Most of the Checkers around here have been torn down. :-(

    • Mr Archer profile imageAUTHOR

      Mr Archer 

      2 years ago from Missouri

      Mac's lounge (McD) is reliable if not exceptional. Wendy's is good; Sonic okay. Braum's is my favorite great tasting cheeseburger and their fries are outstanding to me. But when I get a fast food hankerin' it is usually for a greasy chili cheese coney! This time, it led me astray! Thanks Cheyenne; take care!

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 

      2 years ago from Central Florida

      It seems Sonics is not-so-sonic when it comes to comprehension or delivery, huh?

      I know what you mean about craving junk food occasionally. Every now and then I get a hankering for a good old cheeseburger and don't want to go to a real restaurant to get a real one. I usually opt for Wendy's over Mickey Dee's when I get those cravings. And I absolutely hate Sonic's burgers. Theyre flat and soggy. They do have good breakfast burritos, though.

    • Mr Archer profile imageAUTHOR

      Mr Archer 

      2 years ago from Missouri

      Billy, Mike, Helga, Jodah and aesta1: thank you for your time spent reading this and commenting. It was frustrating at the time but provided me with a chuckle later. Take care and Merry Christmas!

      Michaela, this was meant to bring a smile to your face, not as a condemnation of those providing a service. I have worked in the industry, beginning at age 11, five to seven nights a week, weekdays 5:30 PM to midnight; weekends 6:00 AM to midnight at a ball park. Six years of that, every summer, all summer and then I went to work at a real fast food restaurant. I know and understand the job. But, regardless of what the job pays, one must have enough character to always, ALWAYS do their best. You are receiving a wage, perhaps not as much as you want, desire, need, or deserve but a wage you accepted to work for. Once you have accepted it is on you to do your best. If you do not like the job, find another. Times are tough, but we need to be tougher. I wish you a Merry Christmas, the best of luck, and may your dreams come true. Stay safe!

    • Michaela Osiecki profile image


      2 years ago from USA

      I'm going to assume none of you have ever worked in the food service industry and thus have NO CLUE what kind of underpaid hell these people go through on a day to day basis to provide you with the convenience you all take for granted.

      I've worked in the food industry and I'm a college graduate with a linguistics degree. Times are hard, guys, and when you have to settle with a shitty fast food job just to survive, you tend not to care that much about your work because your entire morale is down the shitter and they barely pay you enough to make rent AND eat.

      You know what I say to people who don't know the menu and want to stare at it for five minutes? Get out of your effing car, walk inside, and look at the menu - you don't make the person at the window wait for you and the people in line behind you won't hate your guts either. Just order inside and make it easy on everyone.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I laughed the entire way, buddy. Been there, done that and probably will do it again. It's a good bet that they don't give IQ tests before hiring, and that's being very generous in my remark. :)

    • profile image

      Old Poolman 

      2 years ago

      This hub made me laugh all the way through because I "Have been there and done that." Every time I swear I will never return but then I do with great reluctance. When I am stuck baby sitting great grandchildren, and all the females are out shopping, the "I'm Hungry" monster makes his scheduled visit. So off we go for happy meals or whatever their latest fast food craze may be.

      When the grand total finally shows up on the cash register that has pictures instead of numbers on the key pad, I am always shocked at the number. I know I could have gone to the deli at my local supermarket and purchased some really good food for the same amount of cash.

      I recently observed a situation at a local fast food joint where I had stopped for a rest room break and a coffee refill that made me laugh. A very little elderly lady approached the counter with her tray full of food and demanded to see the manager. The manager was a young man perhaps 17 years old and he looked terrified. The lady pointed at the unwrapped burger on her tray and asked, "Does this look like that picture you have up there on the menu?" The young manger looked at her tray and the glanced at the menu. "Yes mam, that is what you ordered." She, "I know what I ordered, I asked you if this looks like the picture." Manager, "Well not exactly I guess." She, "Well either make me another burger that matches that picture or give me back my money."

      He, "I'm sorry but we don't have what we need to match that picture so I will refund your purchase." He did give her a refund and she walked out shaking her head.

      My point in relating this incident is that perhaps more of us should have the courage to demand receiving what we pay for in these fast food joints. Perhaps they would get the message and improve the quality of the artery clogging junk they pass off as food.

    • aesta1 profile image

      Mary Norton 

      2 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      I am often overwhelmed with the choices they offer that going through the Drive Thru is rare for me. It must have been really frustrating after a long day.

    • Helga Silva profile image

      Helga Silva 

      2 years ago from USA

      That's why I cook at home! It's healthy, delicious and always on time.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 

      2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      It frustrates me that they always expect you to know what you want when you get to the speaker at the drive through. Going to fast food outlets is such a rare occurrence for us that we never know what is on the menu without reading it. It takes us at least five minutes to read through and decide and the service person always gets impatient and tries to hurry us up. Then they ask if we want to upsize. That order of yours would have cost $30 here I'm sure.


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