Wondering if my hubs are up to standard

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   MeGunnerposted 13 years ago

   Hi everyone. Over a month on hubpages but the traffic is not encouraging. Followed the advice of some 'expert' hubbers but I'm just not sure if I'm even writing the 'right kind of things'. Your feedback is highly appreciated. Here is my latest hub: http://hubpages.com/hub/Doctors-Diary-A … -In-The-ER

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      Randy Godwinposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      It depends on what you are trying to achieve, MG.  Are you just looking for readers or do you intend to make money on your writing? 
      
      I notice you don't have very many tags on your hub.  Do you use Adsense keywords to try to draw traffic to your hubs?  Even if you do not write primarily for the money these keywords help direct traffic to your article.
      
      Break your paragraphs down into smaller sections and add some photos to break up the white space.  Check out some of the better hubber's articles to see what I mean.  Good luck!
      
      Forgot to add!  Do not expect to get great traffic for a few months.  It takes time to get established and to learn the ropes here.

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         MeGunnerposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Thanks so much. Well, am just writing cos I love to. i believe if I do it wee, then money'll eventually come. I don't know about the adsense keywords. I will find out asap.

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   nikki1posted 13 years ago

   Incredible hub.

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   1. 61

      MeGunnerposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you.

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         nikki1posted 13 years agoin reply to this

         U r welcome. It mainly how to share your stories to the world without spamming. Lots of forums,. Good luck.

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   Shadesbreathposted 13 years ago

   You asked for advice, so, I'll drop in my two cents from where I come from  as a writer (a NON monetized approach, focused on story telling and craft of writing them).
   
   First, proofread it, there are several grammatical things that break the "fictional dream" as it is called.  Which is a shame, because the scenes you paint are dramatic and riveting... or they will be when you fix the easy stuff that stops the eye from being sucked into the intense things you are describing. Dude, you can write.
   
   Second, essentially this piece is "memoir."  Which is great, you can do well with that stuff on here, although probably not a ton of cash, but a following of readership on HP and a smattering of links etc. here and there, eventually scrape off a hundred bucks and a lot of personal gratification.  However, and specifically, I suggest you work a bit more reflection in between scenes. There's a lot of jargon and hard core medical stuff, which is great, don't get me wrong, but, it starts to become a "day in the life" sort of thing rather than a story that someone who doesn't live in that world can become emotionally distant from.  You really write your scenes very well, very lucid, visceral, but as readers without that experience, we need to be included somehow, a bit of reflection, how you experienced it as a person - you aren't just a medical machine are you?  I realize as a professional, you have to have distance to be able to do it, but if you TELL THE STORY of it with the same distance as you the job, it becomes a littany of details that I, as a fellow human, have no way to connect to.  It's too far away from where I "live" as another human not living in your world.  Story teller is a different job than medical man; it requires a different kind of sensitivity.
   
   
   Feel free to tell me to F-off as a bombastic blah, blah, and I'll get it totally.  I only pipe in like this because your story is so good and has so much promise.

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      MeGunnerposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      F-in Shadesbreath. Appreciate your candour, although I've read your advice 3x and am still not sure if I get your message in full. Thanks a lot. I thought I struck the right balance by not being 'robotically medical' while telling a medical story. I obviously messed that up. Will try to work on it

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         Shadesbreathposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         It's tough to do, because it is a balance, a dance.  And no two songs, no dancers are the same. Plus, as writers, it's important to NOT get too sentimental.  That's a total turn off - it's easy, cheap writing: save it for Hallmark, you know? I think it can be useful when done drafting a story and preparing to start revisions to ask of your story's narrator : "What is at stake?"
         
         Building tension through a story includes crafting the tense scenes (which you have a gift for), and building an underlying understanding in your reader of how those events threaten or stand before something that the narrator cares about or needs.
         
         In your story, the reflection at the end is cool, but it comes suddenly.  Where was that guy during all those horrible scenes?
         
         The challenge you have is that you can't be all soppy and emotional in those scenes because your patients need your strength and calm to save them.  If you try to gush or divert from your narrative and move into thoughts of sorrow or dread (which you probably don't have during those moments anyway, being a pro), then you risk ruining your really awesome scene with sentimentality. The readers want/need to see your strength.
         
         So, your task as a story teller will require the same surgical delicacy with your words as your work does with your hands. The RIGHT word here, a precise use of metaphor there is all.  More would likely be ruinous.

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            MeGunnerposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Guy, you are just great!

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