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11 Hellsing Baddies For Arkham Horror

Updated on April 13, 2012

Paired up with the Hellsing investigators, these 11 baddies (technical term: monsters) should be just the thing to spice up your next run through Arkham! After all, when it comes to the denizens of the deep or the nameless evils of forgotten cults, nothing seems quite so at home in Arkham like the awesome and sadistic baddies of Hellsing.

These monster cards are fan-made, which means they aren't official and that I have no affiliation whatsoever with either Final Flight Games (Makers of Arkham Horror) or the people who are awesome enough to create and bring us Hellsing, but I've still made them look as awesome as possible with screencaps straight from the series and an especially amazing program for creating custom content for Arkham Horror called Strange Eons.



Ghouls are the meat and potatoes of the series, and so it's only fitting to bring them into play during a hellsing game. Ideally, you should have at least three (maybe more like 5-7) in the monster cup.

You might notice that the Paramilitary Ghouls are essentially those ghouls that made the siege on the Hellsing Manor early on in the series under the command of Luke and Jan Valentine. While they're still ghouls, per say, (and Walter's wires still slice and dice them just as easily) I think the fact that they're all armored up and carrying state of the art weaponry is enough to set them apart from the ordinary, run of the mill, civilian-got-bit-by-a-vampire ghouls. 



Here's another pair that should be fairly common in the monster cup during a hellsing-themed game-- the Chipped Vampire and the Nazi Vampire. Both are dangerous, and both have the ability to overrun the board with undead monsters, but if they're dealt with fast, then they become little more than speed bumps between the Investigators and the big game-- the uniques. 

The Uniques


First up-- The Valentine Brothers! For some investigators, this duo of destruction might still be little more than a speed bump, but the fact that they move together regardless of the symbol drawn for movement during the Mythos phase makes them all the more dangerous. As brothers, they compliment one another nicely, Jan being loud and physically destructive while Luke is more observant and more dangerous psychologically. Adjust your sliders carefully before taking this duo on, because one way or another, your Fight and your Will are going to be put to the test. 

The first of the really dangerous uniques is, without a doubt, Tubalcain Alhambra. With his razor cards and quick, inhuman reflexes, your investigators aren't going to be getting out of this fight without taking a few scratches. Psychologically speaking, he's not much of a threat, (being a card throwing suit who calls himself the "Dandy Man") but he's accurate and vicious in a way that can quickly bleed an investigator down to a mandatory St. Mary's visit in very little time.  

Taking destruction and danger a whole step forward, we have Rip Van Winkle and her rifle that fires magically seeking bullets. Psychologically, she's even less intimidating than "The Dandy Man", but her rifle will certainly punish any investigator without distinction. Being a weapon whose bullets are designed to hit a target and return to hit him (or her) again multiple times, I figured that the least you're going to get hit with coming out of this fight is the Overwhelming damage. God help you if you fail the fight or combat check. 

Zorin is, without a doubt, a master of magic. On the whole, I think she's earned her magical immunity, and the half-body tattoo definitely earns her the potential to tax an investigator's sanity. Where the real charm here can be found is in the fact that she uses investigator spells in combat, making her incredibly dangerous indeed. (A good draw of spells could lead to the possibility of losing 4-8 stamina with a failed check.) All in all, not someone to be taken lightly. 

Shrodinger is a spy and an irritant, but not much else, and as a Hellsing themed monster for Arkham Horror, he's especially irritating.

First of all, the pink/purple border indicates that he's a stalker, which means he actively seeks out investigators and dogs them relentlessly until he's killed or another investigator is closer. You can't sneak past or surprise him, he's resistant to physical and magical damage, and he has a pretty serious combat advantage (being able to phase in and out of reality at will). Sure, he doesn't deal any damage to your sanity or your stamina if you fail to kick his evil little butt, but what he does do can cripple you in other, far more irritating ways. 

I can see it now. Someone, somewhere is going to see this and go "WTF?" Come on people, where's the Incognito love? He's Canon. Sort of.

In the series, Incognito was exactly what Alucard needed to set him off and show the world just how badass he was capable of being. In Arkham horror, he's the most dangerous of the uniques I've brought to the pile, and if you draw him from the cup, he can bring your game to a blazing end in relatively short order. He's fast, he's dangerous, and with his ability to become even more so, he's the perfect opponent for Alucard as an Investigator. The fact that his very appearance ups the terror track gives Alucard an advantage, giving him another chance to remove yet another seal from his investigator card. 

What a minute! Where's the Major, or the Captain, or the Doc?

Fear not, my friends-- I haven't forgotten the three pillar-like masters of Millennium! They've been included in a single Ancient One card at the end of the Hellsing Investigators hub. Check it out, and may the Hellsing/Lovecraft sweetness begin! 


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