How to Play Fat Princess

Fat Princess is a fun, PS3-exclusive game, available through the PlayStation Network Store. Developed by Titan Studios and published through Sony Computer Entertainment, the game was released in America at the end of July, 2009. Since then, it has been the subject of much applause and much criticism. Receiving generally favorable reviews on Metacriticwith a User Score of 8.7/10, it seems to be $14.99 well spent. When you first start it up though, it's not immediately obvious what to do. And though the game includes a "Noob Assistance Program", it's not completely comprehensive. That is, hopefully, where this guide comes in.

The Main Menu is relatively simple. You are faced with four main options.

Play With Others: This will allow you to utilize your PS3's wireless internet connection to play online against other people. Online play will be the bulk of the fun in the game, but I wouldn't suggest you start there. Playing Fat Princess does allow voice chat, but you can easily mute obnoxious players.

Play With Yourself: Get your mind out of the gutter! This option simply allows you to play the short Fat Princess storyline and play games against your AI "imaginary friends".

Bragging Rights: This shows you your game stats and leaderboard rankings.

Twiddly Knobs: This will allow you to change the options of the game, including your character's appearance. You can also access the in-game guide from here.

Legend ot the Fat Princess: This brings you to the seven chapter storyline of the game, revolving around two princesses, their respective kingdoms, and irresistible cake. Within each chapter, you will play one of the four game types, which will be detailed later.

Mess About: This will allow you to set up your own offline game. You can choose the map, type of game, and number of computer/real players.

Gladiate: In this mode, you choose one class and the goal is to kill as many foes as possible before dying yourself. There are several increasingly difficult waves of foes for you to defeat, but if you can master this mode, there's a trophy in it for you.

Jump In!: Selecting this will cause you to "jump in" the first match located, regardless of game type. If you aren't picky at all about the game mode and map you play, you can select this to get started right away.

Play With Friends: This option will show you if any of your PSN friends are playing, and allow you to join their game provided that there is room.

Find a Game: Most people will use this feature the most. Similar to the first option, you will be able to jump in to an open game. However, you can select specific maps and/or game types and find a game based on your own preferences.

Control Freaks: This will allow you to start your own online game.

A standard game consists of two teams of 16 players each, whether you play online or offline. The Blue Team's castle is generally located on the left side of the map, and red is located on the right. Everyone begins the game as a villager safely in their own castle. Where the game goes from there depends on the game type.

Rescue the Princess: In this game, both teams will start with the opposing team's princess locked away as a prisoner. The goal is to rescue your team's princess while preventing the other team from doing the same. Having both your prisoner and your princess in the castle for 30 seconds will win you the game. The timer will not start if you have one but not the other. Fatter princesses are harder to carry, and cake makes the princesses fat. Therefore, feeding your prisoner cake will fatten her up and make it harder for the other team to rescue her. The princesses will lose weight over time though, so they will need more cake to remain plump. You will not be able to enter the opposing teams castle directly through the doors, so they must be destroyed (by attacking or bombing them) in order for you to enter. You can bypass the doors by using catapults and siege weapons, which will be discussed in the "Upgrades and Siege Weapons" section.

Snatch n' Grab: This game is run much the same as Rescue the Princess, but instead of keeping both princesses for a set amount of time, you will need to kidnap the opposing princess 3 times to win. Immediately after being captured, the prisoner will return to the opposing castle.

The last two games, Team Deathmatch and Invasion, get rid of the princess completely.

Team Deathmatch: Both teams start the game with a set number of lives, usually 250, and you win by getting the enemy's lives down to 0. There's no real strategy except to kill, kill, kill and try not to die.

Invasion: The goal here is to reduce the opposing team's morale by capturing as many outposts as possible. You capture an outpost by standing next to it. Once an outpost is captured, your team can use it to replenish health and drop off supplies. Capture over half of the outposts in the map to reduce the morale of the other team. Get their morale down to 0 and you win.

There are 5 different classes in Fat Princess, 6 if you count the villager. They all have their strengths and weaknesses, but I'll try to give a general description of each. All classes can be upgraded by upgrading the hat machines. Upgrading hat machines will be discussed later.

The Villager: This is where you start, and the class you default to after dying. You won't spend much time playing as a villager, as they only have two "heart" of health. Villagers can carry things quickly and use the attack button to slap enemies. Slapping an enemy causes them to drop anything they're holding (such as a princess or supplies). Kills achieved as a villager will usually give twice as many (10 or 20 points vs. 5 or 10 as another class). This class has no upgrade, since it is sans hat and thus has no hat machine.

The Worker: The worker is an integral part of the game, as without them essentially nothing gets done. To become a worker, pick up the hat in from of the worker factory. It will look like a bandana. Workers have 4 "hearts" of health. This is a sufficient amount, especially since they will not be in combat too much. The worker starts off with an axe, used to chop down trees and mine metal from rocks. These supplies can then be used to build upgrades and siege weapons. You start the game with just enough supplies to build the front doors of your castle, and only workers can build these. Though they are not primarily offensive, that axe can also be used to whack at the head of an enemy. Upgrading the worker class arms the workers with a secondary weapon: small bombs. These are much better suited to offensive playing as they after a few seconds or on contact with an enemy.

The Warrior: At 6 "hearts", the warrior has the most health of any character. This makes them perfect for running, sword ready, into groups of enemies. Often you will be able to kill off a group of 3-4 enemies before losing all of your health, leaving you free to heal and repeat. Warriors are best suited for tasks where you will take a lot of fire, such as destroying the doors of an enemy castle or kidnapping/rescuing a princess. When upgraded, the warrior can use a stronger pole arm type weapon.

The Mage: Mages have 4 hearts of health, a decent amount for attacking from a distance. They can attack single enemies directly or groups of enemies via an area attack. Mages start off with fire magic. If charged, this can set enemies on fire and cause extra damage unless the fire is extinguished. Once upgraded, mages can ice magic which can slow down or "freeze" enemies for a short period. Mages can also deal lesser damage by clubbing people with their staffs.

The Ranger: Rangers have the second highest health at 5 hearts, a great amount since 99% of a ranger's attacks will be long range. Rangers can fire arrows while running, from atop outposts and castle walls, and up some inclines. This makes them harder to hit, especially for close range fighters. Upgraded rangers get a slower, but more powerful weapon to use that fires 3 arrows at once when charged.

The Priest: Priest are mainly supporting characters, healing teammates one by one via the "attack" button or in groups via an area spell. They have 4 hearts of health, and their only starting attack will be whacking enemies with their staff. This makes them somewhat vulnerable. Priests should stay among groups of teammates, healing from the fringes of the fight and hopefully being healed by another priest. Hopefully, the attackers on your team will prevent the fray from reaching you. Upgraded priests become "dark priests" who can siphon health from enemies, putting them within an inch of 0 health and refilling some of your own health. This can also be used as an area spell.

 Health: Your health is displayed at the top of the screen in the form of hearts. These hearts will deplete as you are attacked, in lava, or in water that is above head level. You can replenish your health by resting for a few seconds, being healed by a priest, or going into the door of an outpost.

Aiming and Attacking: You can automatically target the nearest enemy by pressing L1. Perform a normal attack by pressing the "square" button, or hold it down to charge a more powerful attack. Workers will also use aiming and attacking to harvest resources.

Harvesting Resources: Workers can harvest wood and metal by aiming their axes at a tree or metal ore deposit respectively. These resources can then be picked up (by pressing the circle button), and carried to the nearest building or outpost controlled by your team. The resource counter displayed to the right of your health lets you know how many of each resource you have. Resources can then be used to build upgrades, the requiremnt of which will be displayed by "aiming" at the building or location. Once you have enough resources for a specific upgrade, a green arrow will appear at that location. Aim and "attack" to build the upgrade.

Upgrading Hat Machines: Upgrading hat machines is done once there are enough available resources and a worker finished the job. This provides additional weapons and skills to each class. In addition, the upgraded worker hat machine will produce large bombs which can be thrown into groups of enemies. The upgraded mage hat machine will produce a magic potion that, when thrown, will turn everyone nearby into a very vulnerable chicken with 1 heart of health for a period of time.

Castle Upgrades: There are two main castle upgrades after the hat machines. One is the catapult, used to launch bombs and players across the map. On most maps, fulling charging the catapult (by jumping in it) will result in being launched into the enemy's castle. However, the catapult is very demanding on resources to build. The other upgrade is fire torches which your team can use to light their weapons on fire and increase their attack. The fire affect on attacks will wear off after a certain number of attacks.

Siege Weapons: Resources can also be used to build ladders and springboards to bypass the enemy's castle doors or simply access higher areas of the map. These can only be built in predetermined locations by workers.

Points and Ranking: You get points by killing enemies, capturing outposts, collecting resources, and saving/capturing the princess and prisoner respectively. To the left of your health you will see your rank in the game followed by your score. Come in first to become a reaper (if you're on the winning team) or a giant chicken (if you're on the losing team).