- Mental Health
10 Wonderful Things to do For Yourself
There are days that I just need to do something to make myself feel better. I may just be down in the dumps or having problems that are wearing me out. We all have these moments and need some relief. Below are some of my favorite ways to lift my spirits up. Try one of them the next time you need to feel better and let me know if it worked!
1. Have a pity party.
There are times when we feel sorry for ourselves and that's ok. I think we make this emotion too negative, making people feel bad about it. It's human nature to feel sorry for yourself and I feel we deserve to sometimes. What is so wrong with that?
I don't believe in wallowing in self pity or having it become your main character trait. You need to get off alone, cry, feel sorry for yourself and then get over it. It's sort of like giving yourself the compassion you need for the situation that caused your bad feelings in the first place. If nobody else will sympathize with you, it's ok for you to do it for yourself. It will make you feel better and help you move on from it.
2. Eat a bunch of cookies.
To be safe, I have to say this is only for people who have no health issues doing this. The very best way to do this is to bake some fresh ones. The ones that come preformed and ready to pop in the oven are darned close to homemade, so pick the easy way. Bake them up and eat all you want. There is nothing that comforts like warm sweet cookies fresh from the oven. Just don't do this too often!
3. Have a bad thought about someone.
We all are made to feel guilty if we think something bad about someone. Even if we don't voice it, we make ourselves feel guilty and that's a shame. I love my best friend, but once in awhile I find something about her I really don't like. So I get mad and think, "wow, she can so irritating!" I immediately feel like I'm a terrible friend.
However, I have broken myself of this by realizing that we all have bad thoughts about people sometimes and again...human nature! None of us is perfect and we shouldn't try to be. We also shouldn't feel terrible about it. The one thing I also realized is that true friendship is about knowing the other person's faults and loving them anyway.
4. Put off a chore.
This one is hard for me because I'm convinced if I don't get my "to-do list" done each day, I have somehow failed something. What, I don't know exactly, but I have failed to accomplish what I set out to do, I guess.
As I've gotten older, I just don't have the energy I used to and my chore list was too long for each day. So, I started small and decided that when I'm wearing down that, maybe, I actually could wait to clean the top of the refrigerator until tomorrow, or even the next day! An extra 1/8 of an inch of dust is not going to matter.
5. Tell someone off.
I don't mean this in a one on one way, just in your mind. Better yet, get alone and do it out loud. Really let loose and tell them off about everything you are mad about. Tell them how selfish they are and how much they've hurt you, that their not there for you when you need them and you're sick of their whining and complaining...whatever it is that is making you so mad at them. Hold nothing back.
You will feel better and not be cringing the next day that you said it to their face. However, sometimes a face to face confrontation might be justified, but for this purpose, we are going to just keep it to ourselves.
6. Just for today...
I read this somewhere (and desperately wish I could remember where to give credit!) to tell yourself "Just for today, I will not worry." Since I suffer from terrible anxiety problems, this helped me so much. You can pick anything that applies to you. Just for today, I will not be depressed...unhappy...afraid...whatever you need to let go of.
7. Play ostrich.
I have always faced my problems head on and never stuck my head in the sand. I have suddenly realized this might not always be the best approach. I have learned that with some problems it is best that I do put off thinking about them or wait and see if they go away on their own. We sometimes make a problem more important than it is. Playing ostrich can even help us put some distance in there and allow us look at the problem more realistically later on.
8. Stand up for yourself.
Whenever I think of this phrase, it tends to bring up a confrontational picture. Like I'm going to have to be aggressive and angrily tell whoever that they can take a flying leap. Not a pretty picture.
However, I have this all wrong. I can finally stand up for myself in a calm, peaceful way. It's all a matter of believing in yourself and not caring what the rest of the world thinks. It's not a neon sign you wear, just a deep seated sense that you have to do what's right for you. If that means saying no or telling someone you're not comfortable with things, then so be it.
9. Don't excuse yourself.
I recently became aware of how may times I was excusing my behavior or things I said. I was telling my neighbor the other day that I said no to a friend who wanted me to watch her child and then felt terrible. I said, "I know that was a terrible thing to do, but I just couldn't face it that day. The little boy is really a brat and I wasn't up to it. I just had to get out of it."
I thought later, what the heck was I doing? Why should I go into such detail to explain what I did? Every time I do this, I'm trying to excuse my actions, when I have the right to do whatever I feel is comfortable for me. So, I now have stopped excusing whatever I do or say.
10. Excuse yourself.
I can hear you saying..."huh?" She just said don't excuse yourself! This is about letting yourself off the hook, being easy on yourself, being gentle with yourself. Stop thinking you have to take care of the whole world. When you can't help someone, don't beat yourself up over it. Excuse yourself! As they always say, if we don't take care of ourselves, we can't take care of others. So true.
I am the first person to jump in and help, to take on everyone's problems and save the day. It has also worn me out. But when I didn't help, the old guilt trip would start. No more. I will be there in a serious situation and any other time I can, but I now have limits. I can now not be there and not beat myself up over it.
Well, I hope these tips help you when you have "one of those days." Give yourself a break...you deserve it!