- Quality of Life & Wellness»
- Personal Development
4 Unpopular Principles You Should Live By
Being Right vs Being Popular
Popularity contest is hardly the right way to find out who is better. Popularity contest is to find out who is more popular. This is a common mistake which we have always done time and time again, and it does not seem that we are going to change our ways anytime soon. Every 4 years we are going to vote and choose one of the two people as to who has wooed our hearts the most and become the president.
Popularity is a very gross thing and can be easily misleading. It needs to start from the individual. Sometimes the people doing the right things are shunned by society, ridiculed and hated. Just look at history and see what the church did to Galileo for declaring that the earth was not the centre of the universe and that it orbits around the sun, a fact which at that time was considered heresy. It has only been recently that Galileo was pardoned. Who knows what more he could have discovered if he was encouraged and not imprisoned! What a waste of genius. An unpopular one, but a genius nonetheless!
Never be afraid to be unpopular. It is why Galileo's name still lives but no one knows who was his persecutor.
Deception is OK
Before anyone screams hail Mary, let me explain! Deception is ok if it is used for the better and benefit of society. Saying deception is not ok is like saying the chameleon is a cheater for changing its skin color according to its surrounding. Imagine how weird it would be if suddenly a chameleon grows a human consciousness and says "I shall not cheat, from now on, I shall show my true self when hunting for prey." It won't be long till that chameleon dies of starvation.
Deception or lying or deceiving whatever you want to call it, is something that we learn naturally to adapt, survive and thrive in society. And we all do it to a certain extent but we will never openly agree that we are doing so. A mother will always hide the greens inside a tasty dish so the child will unknowingly consume green vegetables which is healthy for him/her. The mother is using the art of deception for the good of the child.
Why do you think cough syrup tastes so great? Ever tried tasting one of them before they put flavoring in it? Try it sometimes when you get the opportunity.
It is the con men and cheaters who has given deception a bad name. Not businessmen mind you. There is a huge difference between a conman and a businessman. Both will seek personal gain, but an honest businessman will make sure that you will get your penny's worth, he will tell you what you are getting for your money and will give you what he told once you give him the money. a conman will take your money and disappear.
I have noticed that many people think businessmen are liars and cheaters, they are only after money. Well, if that businessman is someone like Bernie Madoff then I agree. But what about honest to goodness businessman like Richard Branson or Bill Gates or Mark Zuckerberg? How many people have their empire benefited? Millions!
Let's look at Mark Zuckerberg, we all know what he used deception in order to get facebook, it was someone else's idea.(the Winklevoss Brothers) The Winklevoss brothers told Mark Zuckerberg about making a social network for Harvard students, and behind their back Zuckerberg made facebook based on the idea the Winklevoss brothers gave them.
If Zuckerberg did not do that, we probably would not have facebook, and the idea of a social network would only exist in Harvard University. Was Zuckerberg guilty? Yes he was found guilty, but he should not (and probably did not) feel even one ounce of guilt for making Facebook into what it is today. He had the vision for bringing this idea to the world and not just in Harvard University, a small vision which the Winklevoss twins had at the time, and he was willing to deceive for the greater good.
Be Someone Else
Have you ever noticed how you always have a solution for other people's problems? We always seem to have a solution for someone else's problems or even a solution for the country and we always talk about it with our friends. We always say things like "he/she should have done so and so." "why is the government doing this they should do so and so." We are never out of good solutions for others. However, if we are the one who are facing the problem we are stumped and speechless we always seem to be facing a dead end. Why is this so?
This is because we are emotionally attached to ourselves, we have ego and emotions and preference. If we remove all this our solution will come as quick as the solution we have for someone else. The reason why we can find a solution for other people is because we are not them, we have the mental stability to be objective. A doctor cannot operate on himself, because he will be in pain which will overwhelm him greatly.
We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.— Albert Einstein
A good solution to fixing your problems in life is to remove yourself and view yourself from a third person's perspective. Try and be someone else looking at you and finding a solution for yourself. If your name is Jack, try to think along the lines of "Jack has this problem what should he do?"
Being someone else automatically removes your mental instability to the extent that you will have a more clear and objective perspective of your problem, and know how to fix it just as easily as you fix someone else's.
If Someone Slaps You, You Slap Them Twice
Let us be honest with ourselves here. You know you want to. When someone mistreats you, you will need to mistreat them back twice as hard. Unless you totally understand the meaning of turning the other cheek, and your natural inclination is to turn the other cheek like The Buddha has done so and not out of cowardice, you shall not do so and do what you feel you have to do. You should be true to yourself.
A lot of people try to act wise to cover their cowardice. They are scared of confrontation and they avoid it. Ask them why, and they will say it is better to turn the other cheek. They probably said it while imagining that they have a halo above their head. In truth they are seething in anger at the injustice done upon them.
Please stop acting holier than thou when in truth you aren't. Face your fears, and do not be a coward. It is a dog eat dog world, and there is no place for acting saintly. Again, I am not saying that you should slap them twice, I am saying if you have inclination to turn the other cheek just as Jesus did when he was tortured and crucified, then by all means hallelujah. But if you do not, then please stop lying to yourself and do us all a favor by being true to yourself, even if it means to slap him/her twice.
There is a story of a well known warrior who was traveling and two men decided to challenge him to a duel. The warrior knowing that he could easily harm them and probably kill them in the process refused to do so. The men told him that if he does not fight he will have to crawl between his legs, something considered to be disgraceful. The warrior immediately chose to do so in order to avoid harming them both. The warrior turned the other cheek not because of cowardice but because of compassion and pity for the men
You Do Not Have To Change Yourself
With all the self-help books and seminars and videos going around, some people have started thinking to themselves that if they want to have a better life they should first change themselves. I am here to tell you that it is nonsense. You do not have to change even one iota. All you need to do is take steps towards your goals IRRESPECTIVE OF WHAT YOU ARE ALREADY.
If you want to date that girl you have a crush on, do not waste your time going to a seminar or going to a gym to get in shape. That is not going to help in this case, what you need to do is to approach that girl and talk to her. Why? Because while you are attending seminars and watching videos on how to date and doing cardio exercises, another man will go and get her. A man who really does not care if he is fat/slim tall/short black/white. Basically a man who is not you.
If Richard Branson waited until he dealt with his dyslexia first before taking action and eventually built an empire, we would never have Virgin and countless people would not get the benefit that Virgin has given them. Richard Branson managed to turn his negative into a positive.
Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.— Bruce Lee
The thing is change will come once you do take action and things start to happen, it will not happen before that. You can read about it, but it will not happen. Change will happen once you approach that girl and you ask her out and she says yes (in which case you will be ecstatic) or no (in which case you will be disheartened and you will get up and wipe the dust of your knees and come back up stronger), that is when a change will happen within you. Not before that. This is true in all parts of our lives. The most important thing is to take action and do with what you have got first. Do not worry about change.
Waiting to change yourself first is a lot like waiting to grow some muscles first before you start lifting weights at the gym. It will never happen. I assure you.