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How To Keep A Pessimist From

Updated on December 1, 2020
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Cindy has been a Substance Abuse/Mental Health Counselor since 2012 and believes that a healthy mind is a happy mind.

You have to deal with people almost every day; in your job, in your social circle and even in the stores you shop in. Some people add light to your life by just being around them. On the other hand, there are people who radiate negativity. Those people threaten to destroy our peace of mind and well-being. Learn how to deal with toxic people in healthy ways and preserve your sense of happiness.

1. Pick your battles:

Let’s face it- you’ll never win a battle with someone who is determined to be negative. Learn how to walk away and let them stew in their misery alone. Eventually they’ll learn that you cannot be manipulated and will not let them push your buttons. You will live to fight another day, when it’s really important for you to dig your heels in.

2. Don’t try to change them:

People who suffocate us with rudeness and hostility have deep-rooted problems of their own. They cannot and will not change until they address those problems. Keep in mind that their problems are theirs and not yours. Don’t make it your life mission to rehabilitate them. That will simply sap you of your own positive energy.

3. Set boundaries:

Decide how important it is for this person to be in your life. Just because they have inserted themselves into your life doesn’t mean you have to let them in. Let them know in no uncertain terms that if they continue to be nasty, spiteful and rude, you will cut all ties with them-then be prepared to do it.

4. Show some compassion:

You never know what a person went through to make them so toxic. Try to understand that they have had experiences they are not sharing with you. Be pleasant to them before you walk away. Don’t take any of their baggage with you. Don’t hate them or even spend time thinking about why they act the way they do. If they wanted you to know, they’d tell you.

5. Be assertive:

If you run into someone who starts every conversation with “you know what so-and-so did?” Immediately tell them you won’t talk about people behind their backs. Put your foot down like that a few times and most likely the person will simply avoid you. Misery loves company and you aren’t very good company for them anymore.

6. Don’t reward their behavior:

Sometimes it seems easier to give them what they want just to shut them up. When you reward bad behavior, the behavior will continue. Let them know that you will not be swayed by their ranting or antics and stick to your guns. They will soon learn that arguing with you is not worth it.

7. Let them go:

If all else fails, and if at all possible, remove the toxic person from your life. You are under no obligation to have to deal with anyone who robs you of your happiness. Toxic people can be like diseases…if you don’t get rid of them, their anger and hatred will spread like wildfire.

People who insist on spreading hate and negativity are like schoolyard bullies. They find the weakest link in their chain of acquaintances, and try to weasel their way into your life. Don’t let them. There is no reason on earth for you to have someone else's misery inflicted upon you. You deserve a little tranquility in your life. Don’t let one person’s toxicity steal that from you.


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