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Who Are You? My Name Is William Dale Holland and This Is My Life

Updated on June 19, 2013
A solid foundation.
A solid foundation. | Source
Love!
Love! | Source
Finding my way!
Finding my way! | Source
Finally at peace with who I am.
Finally at peace with who I am. | Source

The inspiration for this article came from my online nephew, Josh; if you would like to give him a shout out you can find him at http://josh3418.hubpages.com/.

How do we summarize who we are in 1,500 words? A lifetime of experiences and lessons learned, condensed into a packaged array of words; is it truly possible? Can words ever do justice to the intricacies of the human spirit?

That is the task before me. As I stare at the blank screen I try to sort it all out; sixty-three years of living on this planet, the thousands of people who have impacted my life, all crammed into this small space, exposing who I am for your review.

This endeavor seems impossible. Not that I believe I am a complicated man for I truly do not; it is just so much to shrink into a package that others will find readable. Yet that is the goal of any writer, is it not? Each time we sit down to compose, our job is to mold our words into something meaningful. And so it is now! We will begin, I guess, at the beginning.

AN ABBREVIATED FAMILY TREE

Dale LeRoy Holland and Evelyn Josephine O’Dowd were my parents. Darlys was my sister and toss in all of the aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins. I share DNA with none of them and yet they were my heart and soul. It is impossible to discuss who I am without first mentioning the influence my family had on me.

In the interest of brevity I will summarize my family’s influence on me in one word……love! I grew up knowing that I was loved. I grew up knowing that despite my transgressions, despite my insecurities and weaknesses, that I would always be loved. My family was the ultimate safe place, the bunker where I hunkered down when the bombardment of life became overwhelming.

THE INTANGIBLES

Describe who you are! What would you say? How much detail would you give if asked to perform that task? If I were not totally engaged in the answer I would say I was adopted, had a good childhood, became a teacher, a father, a husband, an alcoholic and now a sober writer. Sixty-three years in a nutshell. A fifteen second thumbnail look at Bill Holland. We are a convenience society are we not? Why not give a convenient, slick answer that has no substance at all? Isn’t that how many conversations go nowadays? How are you? I’m fine, how about you? What are you up to these days? Not much, same old same old. How about you? And so it goes, no depth, no connection, just two ships passing in the night, on our way to who knows where. The obligatory questions and responses which of course carry with them the obligatory illusion of caring.

But who am I, really?

Sensitivity to a depth which invites pain, that’s who I am. In my early years I cared far too much what people thought of me, so much so that I eventually lost sight of who I was in order to please everybody. An exhausting undertaking for sure but oh, so safe! I am still sensitive today; I can still suffer injured feelings, can still be struck down by words of malice, but today I accept the occasional rejection in favor of living my life on my terms. Certainly not as safe but so much more rewarding.

Empathy and compassion seem to control my heart; where does that come from? I feel your pain! I celebrate your happiness. I feel your tears on my cheeks and my spirit soars when yours does, as if I am piggybacking on your elation. No, dammit, I don’t want to feel so much! Please, don’t reach inside of me with your pain? Just nod at me and pass by; don’t plant the seeds of emotions that will haunt me into the night. I want to lay down at night without crying. I want to look at a newspaper without anguishing over the torment that is told on those pages. I want to watch children play in the park without seeing their future bodies wasted by alcohol and drugs.

Don’t tell me what is wrong with you! Can’t you see how it affects me? Can’t you see what you are doing to my serenity? Have you no compassion for me?

But it is necessary! Without empathy and compassion we are but hollow husks, mere empty vessels that carry no cargo, and that is not life.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN’T GO ON?

“Life will knock you down, Bill. You have to get up and always move forward.”

I’ve tried, Dad! I remembered your words when I was crawling in the gutters. I remembered your words when my soul ached and I felt abandoned by the human race. I have tried! “When you are going through hell don’t stop to enjoy the scenery.” I remember, Dad! I kept moving forward. Sometimes one inch at a time…one hour, one day, pushing on, looking for that light that would signal peace of mind….peace of heart. It was an ever-so-slight glimmer of hope but I kept my eye on it, reaching out, afraid to close my eyes lest I lose sight of it. Always forward! Always forward!

ODDS AND ENDS

Real men don’t cry! Well, this man does and today he celebrates the ability to find tears of joy in a newborn baby. Words of endearment will moisten my eyes; words of hate will bring sadness and yes, tears. It’s not supposed to be like this, is it? I’m supposed to be strong and not show emotions. And yet, in showing emotions, I reveal an inner strength of character I do not want to forfeit.

******

I detest phoniness. I detest bullcrap! Say what you mean; I’m a big boy and I can take it. Not everyone is going to like me and I’m fine with that, so if you don’t like me say it and then get out of my face. Don’t act like we are best friends while you sharpen the knife, waiting for the perfect moment to plunge it into me.

******

I was born a dreamer and a dreamer I will always be. Why can’t dreams come true? The only limitations are those we place on ourselves. We were not put on this planet to trudge through a life in ankle-deep quicksand of our own making. Man was meant to fly above all restrictions, the finest of creatures. Toss off those shackles and spread your wings. I believed that when I was five years old and I’ll still be spreading my wings when my final days arrive.

******

Cruelty is unacceptable. Rudeness should not be tolerated. We have earned the right to be treated with respect. To turn our back on cruelty and rudeness is to silently give approval.

******

Negativity saps the life force from within and it has no place in my existence. It is my responsibility to create a positive atmosphere in which to live, and if it is necessary to eliminate negative people from my life I will do so. Today I choose to be happy. I am the only one in my life who can make that choice.

******

One must have a personal code of ethics, a set of principles that serve as a beacon when no one else is watching. In the end there is always the mirror and it never lies. We can bob and weave among our peers, shuck and jive with strangers and manufacture for the world to see whatever image we desire, but the mirror never lies. Today I don’t mind looking in the mirror; there were days, not so long ago, when I hated that damn looking-glass.

******

Give back….give back….give back! It is ingrained in me! It is part of my fiber! There will always be someone who has it worse than me. There will always be someone who needs a shoulder to lean on until they can stand on their own. They are my responsibility! To push them aside and hope that someone else will come to their aid is beneath me. After all, I needed others to survive and in truth I still do. How can I turn my back on needy when I so desperately needed others?

******

My house is bigger than your house! My car is more expensive, my bank account makes yours look like a piggybank and my clothes are nicer than yours. Take a look at me because I have arrived! Well, no, in truth you are still playing the child’s game of “King of the Mountain.” It just doesn’t matter! Sorry, ladies, but size does not matter, not when we are measuring the girth of a person’s character. Put away the child’s toys and embrace the reality of life and all that true living has to offer. To state it another way, toss aside the ego and find true humility.

THE INEVITABLE CONCLUSION

1,500 words describing who William Dale Holland really is; it turns out it is impossible, just as it is impossible to describe any of you reading this. We are complex creatures, vessels comprised of bone, muscle, nerve endings and organs. We are seven billion in number and yet each unique, like snowflakes falling upon the landscape of time eternal.

I am William Dale Holland, son of Evelyn Josephine O’Dowd and Dale Leroy Holland, and yet so much more.

2012 William D. Holland (aka billybuc)

Try out these articles:

http://billybuc.hubpages.com/hub/A-Pleasant-Journey-Back-In-Time

http://billybuc.hubpages.com/hub/My-Old-House

To purchase one of my Kindle books go to:

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=ntt_athr_dp_sr_1?_encoding=UTF8&search-alias=digital-text&field-author=William%20D.%20Holland

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    • Just Ask Susan profile image

      Susan Zutautas 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Glad that Josh inspired you to write this. Enjoyed the video and all the pictures. This may sound cliche but "You've come a long way baby" :)

    • TToombs08 profile image

      Terrye Toombs 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      I really REALLY like this message, Bill: I am who I am and I will not be measured by anyone's yard stick other than my own. I am complex and unique and everything around me makes me who I am. I also took away: each person must find their own path and no matter how hard it is, we must continue down our chosen path until we reach the end.

      So many of these lessons have been lost on the newer generations and I think it's important for these to be recorded and shared; like a porch light on a small farm on a starless night in the middle of no where, yet it burns for those you might need it.

      Bravo to you for bearing your heart and soul and giving us a mere glimpse into all that you are and teasing us with the mystery of what more there is. :)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Susan, thank you! I have come a long way; I just hope I'm not going in circles. LOL

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Awww, TT, thank you! I love your description of the small farm on a starless night....I greatly appreciate you, Sis! I hope you know that.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      No fancy words........no frilly phrases........no wise cracks, for sure.........just simple terms, but complex emotions, running through my being at this moment.....................I hear you and I know you. ..........I.........understand........believe......appreciate.....respect....relate..

      echo, ....and concede..........I am grateful for your disclosure of such treasured realities.......I feel less alone.......I question less......and comprehend more.......giving back is the only way to breathe and go forward......learning is the only way to grow and flourish......loving is the only way to be loved....asking is the only way to be answered.

      WHY doesn't every living soul understand, believe and live this????

    • ashish04joshi profile image

      Ashish Joshi 4 years ago from India

      You did it, Sir.

      It's not about the number of words, it's about what they mean!

      And I'm glad I know you here.

      So true, "the mirror never lies"...

      "up' and 'beautiful'

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Paula, I do not know the answer to your question...but it feels wonderful to know I am not alone. There are some truths which should be at the core of every human being. I see those out there today, isolated, posturing, angry, lonely, frightened, shut off from the rest of the world....drugs, booze, sex, looking for answers in all the wrong places and like you, I ask why?

      Some day I insist that you and I meet....maybe halfway in Iowa...I would like to just share a hug and a walk in the countryside....we can dissect humanity at that time and laugh as old friends do.

      thank you

      bill

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Ashish, thank you so much! I greatly appreciate you and all that you stand for.

    • TToombs08 profile image

      Terrye Toombs 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      I do now, and I love you, too. :) You really are a beacon of knowledge and morality, not perfect, but the best description of what a "good man" is meant to be. :) And your imperfections are what make you approachable and a good role model. :) An example of "how to" live your life. :)

    • CMerritt profile image

      Chris Merritt 4 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana

      Telling it like it is!

      I love it and can relate very much to it.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      CMerritt, thank you Sir! I appreciate your words and I know you understand.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      bill.....Spooky you should choose "Iowa"........wife of my first born is an Iowan...her entire life until after college. May as well get a plug in here for her younger brother, who has done very well for himself, in terms of his "Photo-Journalism," career.... His first published book was nominated for a highly-coveted award.

      "DRIFTLESS" Photographs From Iowa, Danny Wilcox Frazier.

      Google him!

      Yeah, maybe some day we can exchange face to face......Someone asked the question in Q&A if any of us had met a fellow-hubber in person......I thought about the fact that there ARE a few I should try to do that with, since the distance is within the 500-miles range. I just think it would be a really interesting thing to do!..........Peace.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you TT....no smart ass response...just thank you!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Paula, it's a subconscious thing...my family was all from Iowa...it's the first state I think of "halfway." I'll take a look at the book...thanks.

    • profile image

      Starmom41 4 years ago

      this is wonderful! thank you for writing and posting it!

      I -wish- I could write something similar, but I know it would turn out all wrong :(

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Star, I am of the belief that if it comes from your heart it can't be wrong.

      Thank you my friend!

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Where abouts in Iowa? Would you not pass out if YOUR family actually KNEW her family? I would.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Charles City, Iowa....north central!

    • shiningirisheyes profile image

      Shining Irish Eyes 4 years ago from Upstate, New York

      Dear Evelyn and Dale,

      My purpose for writing this letter is to thank you for instilling the strong values and ethics in your son William. He has overcome many personal obstacles and struggles, and has survived a renewed individual. I have had the pleasure to know your boy and I felt it only right to tell his parents what a fine man he has turned out to be.

      He is a responsible person who faces diversity with class and tact. He has compassion for his fellow man and does not hesitate to let the people in his life know how much he loves them. I only wish this world consisted of a few more men such as he.

      Because of the love, time and patience you surrounded him with he had the skills and faith to endure when life became very difficult. I am happy to report that your fine young man kept his eye on the prize while never forgetting the advice and nurturing you both gave him.

      Because of the strong foundation you built, he is an individual any parent would be proud to claim. I have no doubt your pride is beaming no matter where in the universe you are reading this from.

      He never forgot to dream. Afterall - dreams are just a way of being reminded that change is always possible.

      I consider myself very fortunate for having been in the right place at the right time to have met your fine son. I am honored to call him my friend. He is a wonderful husband, father, grandfather and teacher who isn't afraid to speak the truth, even when it might not be so easy to hear. He will not compromise his principles and has a compassionate heart.

      I am confident you both have kept your eye on him over the years and am also quite sure you are aware of what I write. I just wanted to thank you again for providing a fine example of what a wonderful human being looks like.

      I only wish I could have had the opportunity to meet the two people who are responsible and shake your hand. We will meet someday. Until then - thank you.

      Sincerely,

      Your sons friend, Rebecca

    • Lisawilliamsj profile image

      Lisa Williams 4 years ago

      This is an amazingly beautiful, inspiring story of your life! I can relate so much to your words. Thanks for posting, I voted up!

    • CloudExplorer profile image

      Mike Pugh 4 years ago from New York City

      Bill you have went the extra Yard with this one for sure, I think that life is full of many things to think of, and what better to do then to define yourself, and I also read the hub Josh had written that you originally had inspired him to write, wow wow wow.

      This is sensational, your technique of video delivery is truly remarkable, the genuine content you've provided for us, is far above the call of duty as a hubber, you're an outstanding character and in every way of the word.

      Perfection isn't in my personal life pursuit neither bro, I simply want to achieve overall balance, and it shows from taking a peek into what makes Bill Holland tick, that your life has achieved such a goal today of overall balance.

      Awesome hub Bill, no doubt about that, and may this one take a leap of faith into the Viral zone of the web as well, because if anything will it must be, well thought out, original, clever and authentic today.

      You've scored on all those levels for sure with this hub here, voted up and I'm shooting for the stars on the sharing factors of your juicy hub here.

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 4 years ago from South Africa

      billybuc, thanks for this enjoyable autobiography. Identifying with you, I confirm your statement: "....Empathy and compassion seem to control my heart; where does that come from? I feel your pain! I celebrate your happiness. I feel your tears on my cheeks and my spirit soars when yours does, as if I am piggybacking on your elation. No, dammit, I don’t want to feel so much!......."

      It takes a lot of sanity and realism to care for others without losing one's emotional balance.... But I really don't want to be like those who don't care about anybody but themselves.

      Voted up and insightful :)

    • tammyswallow profile image

      Tammy 4 years ago from North Carolina

      Very insightful look into the man behind the legend. As I get older, I find myself becoming a lot like you. I enforce my own sense of values and integrity, I don't like BS, I grow intolerant of disrespect, and I discover those things that make me happy and fulfilled beyond the material world. I think many people can relate to you and your mission. Well written with no wish wash. :) Loved it.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Becki, I have tears in my eyes...no, scratch that, I'm crying! I can't see to type. Those are the kindest words I have ever read. I could write volumes about your comment but I'll keep it at this: thank you from the bottom of my heart. You have managed to touch me on a very personal level today and have made me very happy. That is a gift I will forever be appreciative of.

      My mom and dad send their love to you.

      your friend

      bill

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Lisa, I am truly thankful for your kind words. This was a labor of love and I appreciate your response greatly.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Mike my friend, I thank you with every fiber of my being. Bev deserves much of the credit for the video and of course, her love always keeps me strong. There just ain't nothing better than love, my friend, and I am thankful for your friendship and support.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Martie, I am humbled by your kind words. This hub took a lot out of me and I greatly appreciate your reception to my efforts. God bless you and thank you!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Tammy, perhaps that is why you and I hit it off so well??? We understand what is important in life, yes?

      Thank you dear friend and you are, indeed, a dear friend. Distance does not change that.

    • Curiad profile image

      Mark G Weller 4 years ago from Lake Charles, LA.

      Bill, In a few words you have illuminated your soul and shared the source of your spirit. Clear, straight forward, honest, and compassionate.

      If we could show the current and future generations this simple fact, that truth comes from within, and all we have to do is listen.....

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Mark, I have respected you since early on and that respect grows daily. Keep moving forward my friend; there is light at the end of the tunnel.

    • profile image

      kelleyward 4 years ago

      Wow Bill look at all those comments within a couple hours of posting. Obviously you've touched many people in your life. I see your sensitivity in your writing. I also have observed the empathy you have for those who are hurting. But one thing I've also noticed is that you do have something you do not like.... Vegetarian recipes ha ha LOL! Thanks for being such an open authentic man! I'm thankful to know you! Kelley

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Kelley...LOL....nice dig about the recipes. And a very nice comment. I try to be those things, Kelley. I get embarrassed when someone says them about me, but thank you....and thank you for being who you are, Kelley!

    • josh3418 profile image

      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Bill, this was truly remarkable! I loved every bit of it, you have made a great impact on everyone you have crossed paths with. I especially enjoyed how you mentioned your emotion and tears, we all have this, but it is whether or not we admit it. You are an honest and straightforward man who does not beat around the bush! That is a character trait not many people can claim to have! I also like how mentioned giving back, for so many people just take, take, take. Bill you are a great man of character and heart, may that always be with you, never lose sight of it!

      Yes, of course several votes and all that good stuff, thanks Bill for this enjoyable read and look into your life, and as always thanks for the shout out, I appreciate it! :)

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      according to the jacket of Danny's book (I have my own autographed copy!) they grew up in Le Claire......lives in Iowa City now w/ wife and kids......but my DIL would have grown up in Le Claire......w/o a map, I don't know how close this is to Charles City.......BUT...unless you played Sports against her Dad......Bill Frazier....you probably don't know them. Kind of a long shot, anyway.

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image

      Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States

      Billybuc! There is a simple reason why you are so popular and admired. All one has to do is to read this hub.

      Thanks for being a constant inspiration to so many - and to me!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Josh, you have me blushing....enough, nephew, enough! LOL Thanks buddy; people are worth the effort and if I make even a little impact in my lifetime then I am grateful.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      It was a longshot....not really close, Paula, but then, in Iowa, nothing is too far away.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Dexter, I am grateful for your kind words. Thank you my friend!

    • josh3418 profile image

      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      No problem Bill, you deserved every word in my comment! :)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Josh...:)

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 4 years ago from Singapore

      Bill, a really honest look at yourself and it was a really hard one as well. Kudos to you for your courage is telling so much about you......and, as for the comment in your hub, a really brave man is one who admits it and DOES cry. Voted up!

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      Ad I always say bill.. You are amazing.. this is a great write..

      I love your honesty your courage, and You!! I always learn something from your hubs..

      You bring Life to your work.. and I need to see that.

      God Bless you my friend

      Sharing

      Debbie

    • H.C Porter profile image

      Holly 4 years ago from Lone Star State

      Wow, is the very first thing that comes to mind as I read and listened to your beautiful story. As I absorbed your words, there were parts when you described your compassion and emotional involvement with others; how you hurt for them, feel for them and want to help, I felt as if you were speaking my hearts whispers. There are things that I do not say, thoughts that I can not share for fear that simply being who I am; is and will never be good enough. You have inspired me to continue to push through the fear of what others think and be at peace with who I am, heart and soul. You are a fantastic writer, and a kindred spirit. Thank you for pouring yourself into your writing. Beautiful- Awesome-Hub, sharing and rating up as much as possible.

      hcp

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Midget, thank you so much. It took me a long time to be honest with myself and oftentimes I think courage comes from having nothing else to lose. :)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Debbie, I think you know how much I respect you. I appreciate your words greatly and I am pleased that you liked this piece of my heart.

      blessings to you always,

      bill

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Holly, I am so happy to have finally really found you. I had seen you pop up on Facebook, and I had read an earlier work, but until yesterday I had no idea of the depth that is in you and your writing. I am proud to be following you and I am humbled by your words. I look forward to many more sharings between us my friend.

      bill

    • poojasd7 profile image

      poojasd7 4 years ago from India

      "I detest phoniness. I detest bullcrap! Say what you mean; I’m a big boy and I can take it. Not everyone is going to like me and I’m fine with that, so if you don’t like me say it and then get out of my face. Don’t act like we are best friends while you sharpen the knife, waiting for the perfect moment to plunge it into me."

      I second this opinion!

      What a soulful hub. loved every bit of it.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you so much, Poojasd; I appreciate you stopping by to visit.

    • ChristyWrites profile image

      Christy Birmingham 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      I agree with so many of your insights into life Bill. Negativity does sap energy, you are right about that! I thank you for letting us into your life; we are lucky that you are here to help us all on the path we call life.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      And Christy, I am lucky to have a follower like you. You give new definition to the word loyal! Thank you my dear!

    • Vellur profile image

      Nithya Venkat 4 years ago from Dubai

      A great insight into who you really are. You have expressed yourself very well in these 1,500 words. You are a great person with exemplary qualities that shine through this beautiful write about yourself. Great hub. Voted up.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Vellur, I am touched by your kind words. Thank you so much!

    • Trinity M profile image

      Trinity M 4 years ago

      Hi Bill. It takes a very special person to talk from the heart so I am not surprised to read the beautiful, inspiring story of William Dale Holland and know that it is you. You are an inspiration to many people and have personally shown me such kindness and support that it was only a pleasure to get to “know” you a little better and try to follow your example. Thank you SO much for sharing your story with us.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Trinity, it is my pleasure. Lessons learned are worthless if they are not shared. That is my hope...that is my goal in writing. I appreciate your kindness and you have made me smile today.

    • Julie DeNeen profile image

      Blurter of Indiscretions 4 years ago from Clinton CT

      I think I'm gonna call you the grandpa of hubpages. Okay okay, uncle of hubpages! It just doesn't sound as wise :P

      Anyway, you are inspirational as always, I wish you were my teacher back in the day. Great job Billy!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Julie, I wish I had been too! :) Thank you my dear; I am humbled by the outpouring of love on HubPages and I appreciate who you are as a person.

    • profile image

      Starmom41 4 years ago

      mine didn't go over so well. not a single comment. am finished with hubpages- I don't have a 'voice' here either.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Star, don't you dare give up. I have your hub saved; I just haven't gotten to it so I could leave a message. I look forward to reading it and will soon.

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 4 years ago from United States

      As we age I think many of us take that inside look of our being, what we are about, how do we treat others, what makes us happy, do we have boundaries? I relate very much to your life. I treat people the way I want to be treated and the rewards abound. I don't want to hate anyone, hurt anyone, I am not particularly impressed by wealth or power, and I like people who tell it like it is. I like you because you don't mince words, you have a message and the ability to spread that message very well on Hubpages, and I am sure in the rest of your life. This is a very touching hub that touches me.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Pamela, thank you so much! I like you too and for many the same reasons. It's funny, but it isn't hard to separate the genuine people from the pretenders, even on HubPages where all we see is the written word. I am happy that you are one of my followers.

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      Mary Craig 4 years ago from New York

      How privileged I am to be part of your circle! Your hubs are all good, many very funny, many touching. This one is so personal and soul bearing. What a wonderful idea to not only write but read it!

      "In the end there is always the mirror and it never lies." I'm sure you have no problem looking in that mirror.

      Hey, how far is Iowa from Tillson?

      Voted all the way across for the feelings you stirred and SHARED with my followers in case they don't know you.

    • PurvisBobbi44 profile image

      PurvisBobbi44 4 years ago from Florida

      Billybuc,

      Such a beautiful journey you have shared with us. You might look into a mirror and wonder in solitude about your DNA, who do I look like, where are they, do I have ways like them or am I completely different? Please let me share this with you---It is not the DNA that is important from your past---it is the love you received from your family. The DNA in your child or children you have passed it on is what is important, because you gave them life with your love.

      You are a wonderful man who feels so deeply about others until you became a “Human Sponge” and

      absorbed the hurts and negativity of others. What does this do to someone---it makes them want to get rid of the pain in their mind and heart. Some take drugs and some become alcoholics trying to stop feeling so deeply.

      Now life should be beautiful for you, because sometimes it take a lifetime to realize how great we are to begin with--and that means today.

      Only the best men cry because they know it is the only way to flush out the known and unknown hurts. It is giving our body and spirit a bath to be clean again---like a new born baby. We start over with a renewed attitude about how to appreciate ourselves.

      Now, this is what I would tell my brother if I had one to tell.

      Your Hub Friend,

      Bobbi Purvis

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you so much Mary! It's been quite a journey but it took me to this place, this time and I can't think of anywhere I would rather be.

      I am honored to have you as a part of "my circle." You can break bread with me any old time. I'm guessing Iowa is what, 1200 miles from Tillson? LOL

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Bobbi, that is one of the sweetest things someone has said to me. Please call me Bill! I am a firm believer that it takes what it takes to get us to a place of peace and I am glad it took what it took for me to arrive here.

      You are a kind, generous soul and I'm proud to be your online friend. Hey, Bobbi, I'm adopted, so that brother thing might not be so far-fetched. LOL

      Sincerely, thank you!

      bill

    • Pamela Kinnaird W profile image

      Pamela Kinnaird W 4 years ago from Maui and Arizona

      Pamela99 said everything I feel after I read this hub. And she said it so much better than I could. I do relate to everything you have said. You have so much courage to have opened up like this. Your paragraphs on sensitivity and your empathy and compassion really tugged at me. I can't bear to read the newspapers or watch the news anymore. I read the occasional headline -- mostly the world news and the politics -- but nothing late in the day or I might not sleep. Friends and community problems are enough for the heart to deal with. So I really felt the truth resonate as you explained that part of yourself.

      All of this was so real. I especially loved your last sentence -- made me cry -- family ties and bonds of love -- and your video was perfect. It's a privilege to know you through your writings.

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 4 years ago from San Francisco

      how does one describe a person?good attempt.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Pamela, thank you very, very much! It is heartwarming for me to know that there are people out there who can relate and so accepting of my writing. I truly appreciate your kind words and it is a privilege to know you as well.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Mhatter!

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Your story is such an inspiration to others. Adopted and loved, what more could we ask for? Not everyone learns that love and respect is the greatest gift bestowed to mankind. You have found that..Thank you for sharing another story of your life..

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Ruby, I am always grateful for your visits; it is a constant in my life and I greatly appreciate it...and you.

    • Michele Travis profile image

      Michele Travis 4 years ago from U.S.A. Ohio

      There is one amazing thing about your life and that is learning from one's past. If the leaders of this world's country's could learn from past mistakes, then the world would be a better place. Your hubs are always inspirational. I do hope someday, this worlds youth, could learn this also.

      Voted up.

    • ComfortB profile image

      Comfort Babatola 4 years ago from Bonaire, GA, USA

      Hello billybuc, we've crossed path a few times in comment capsules, and that was pretty much all I knew about you, until now.

      I really enjoyed reading this. You painted a picture of yourself, in these texts that somewhat described so many of us..

      "Sensitivity to a depth which invites pain, that’s who I am. In my early years I cared far too much what people thought of me, so much so that I eventually lost sight of who I was in order to please everybody. An exhausting undertaking for sure but oh, so safe! I am still sensitive today; I can still suffer injured feelings, can still be struck down by words of malice, but today I accept the occasional rejection in favor of living my life on my terms. Certainly not as safe but so much more rewarding."

      There are many who will read this hub, who have lived all their lives for others. I pray that through your words, they will find the strength to break away from that exhausting way of life and find true freedom in living a life that's very much on theirs (and God's) term.

      You sir, are walking in your calling, touching lives, and making them better. God Bless You.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Michele, if that were to happen I would be a very happy writer. Thank you for your kind words my friend.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      ComfortB, I really appreciate your words. Wouldn't it be nice if we could learn these lessons at an early age? It was not meant to be for this guy. :) I'm glad you stopped by; I will repay the compliment soon.

    • Lord De Cross profile image

      Joseph De Cross 4 years ago

      Gee! Bill, took me 45 seconds this time to scroll down this piece from the heart. Just to share a personal note: Step son who is in the Air force, told his superior bosses to send him to Afghanistan again, so this 23 year old fellow Airman can stay home and spend time with his young wife and witness his first kid to be born. Adopted kids become superhumans in all sense and you have proved us right.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Lord, what a great story about a pretty special step son. Thank you for sharing that and thank you, as always, for the wonderful words.

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      Amazing story, Bill. How courageous of you to wear you heart on your sleeve and bear all! Although, those of us who love you (obviously, many!) know these wonderful attributes of yours. It's always heartwarming to see someone's self -struggle to become the person they want to be and who they really are deep inside. You overcame some pretty tremendous hurdles. In retrospect, if they are hurdles created by oneself, they certainly can be overcome!

      I like you, have strong, loving parents. I believe that foundation causes both the rebellion we may choose to exhibit AND the strength to reach deep inside and grab hold of the deeply instilled morals, knowledge and recognition of right and wrong, grab ourselves by the bootstraps and climb out of our self-dug holes, one step at a time.

      I commend you my friend. Your parents gift to God was instilling in you, their gift from God, a sense of pride, self-worth, compassion and zest for life.

      How forturnate for all of us!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sha, you always say the nicest things! Thank you my dear friend! I'm not sure if I'm courageous....but I am a teacher...and I always want to share experiences, even if they were painful, so others might learn.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 4 years ago

      Advice for all ages to follow in making life worthwhile and meaningful. Loved your video with all the photos. Quite a background and transition posted in it: Bill the teen driver, beach guy, casual man, outdoorsman, etc.; and leading to the great character we see today!

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      You underestimate yourself, my friend. Do you read your responses? Do you see how many followers you have? You have a message. You give people hope and strength. You're an inspiration! You are our gift from God. Your parents were the channel. Everything has its purpose, you know that!

      I just wish I could hear your videos. They don't come thru clearly at home or at work. I would love to hear your voice and see your animations!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Dianna, we all have a story to tell and if we look hard enough, there are lessons in each story. Thank you so much!

    • neeleshkulkarni profile image

      neeleshkulkarni 4 years ago from new delhi

      you are a fighter and a winner Billy.that about sums it up .

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sha, there you go inflating my head again. LOL I truly do appreciate you. Try going to YouTube; the videos are there as well and maybe that will make a difference.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Neeles, thank you! I think the fighter is in each of us.

    • cclitgirl profile image

      Cynthia Calhoun 4 years ago from Western NC

      Dang, sometimes I can't believe how similar we are. I can't deal with fake people. I've tried hard to please during the course of my short 33 years, but I'm finding that less and less of a necessity. I'm finding it more important to be empathetic, but I have to find my own way. Though it's hard for me to always stand up for what is right, I try, even though that means I might step on some toes. I hate conflict. But, if the cause is that important to me, I will quietly persevere until I am satisfied enough to move on. I am a dreamer and I have a million and one interests. I am incapable of being bored and when I hear kids saying that, it makes me crazy. I can't cram enough things into my day to feel like I've really made an impact somehow, somewhere. For now, I endeavor to make a difference through my own writing and artwork and I am finally, finally doing EXACTLY what I want to do. Hopefully it goes somewhere before my savings does. Ha ha. In any case, you are someone I look up to - like a big bro. :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Cyndi, if I have your respect I am a rich man. We do have quite a few similarities; I have always liked you from day one to today and I doubt that is going to change. I look forward to following along on your new life choice. YOU GO GIRL!

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      I'll check out You Tube, Bill. I feel I'm missing the personal connection you're offering....

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sounds good Sha; just finished a new one about loving yourself...it's on now.

    • girishpuri profile image

      Girish puri 4 years ago from NCR , INDIA

      Great message in your hub, thanks

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you girishpuri; I appreciate it greatly!

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      Are you in You Tube as Bill Holland or billybuc?

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Here's the URL for one of them; the rest should be listed on the right hand side of the page http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TF3HUgkpmyQ&fea...

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      Thanx for the link, Bill. I just watched your Simplicity video. Food for thought, for sure. You're a very relaxed orator. I can see why your students loved you. I've added your You Tube site to my favorites so I can have a moment with you whenever I need to hear your voice and the profound words with which you speak!

      Hugs to yourself and Bev from Florida!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Sha! I'm not sure how profound I am. It seems like the things I talk about are pretty simple concepts...I'm just surprised more people don't clue in to the simpler life. Maybe in time! Hugs coming back atcha!

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      You are profound, Bill. I look forward to everything you post. You always have something to say either I need to hear, or hits home to me and forces me to reflect; to go inside. You're a great friend.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      As are you, Sha! Now get busy on that house and make it livable! :)

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      It's livable again, finally! Trying to catch up on my hubmail so I can post again. It's been too long!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sha, we just got back from a walk on the beach. I see you have a new hub so off I go to check it out.

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