A Reflection on the “Modern World”

Ever wonder why we continue to struggle to earn more and more money? Even if it means losing time to spend with our children and family? In this hub I will share my reflection on this phenomenon.

In today’s Western world, we tend to be increasingly lonely. We also tend to be more and more self-focused. Of course, we have our kids and our aging parents as well. However, the focus seems to be on how to live our life as it “should” be. I often wonder who decides what is wrong and right in my life. I guess it would be me, not my friends or colleagues.

An ordinary family in Sweden waits until the age of 30 to have kids. However, in the country side it is more common to have children at the age of 22... This suggests that perhaps our “cousins in the country side” make different life choices that allow more time spent with their families.

Of course, I think that we all try to make choices that we consider the best. However, in many cases, we can be constrained. For example, almost every child in Sweden has his or her own room, even if he or she does not live with parents full time. Both parents have prepared separate rooms for each child. Also, by the age of 6, many children have their own smart phones. My question is: why? Most people do not want their children to be bullied or to stand out. As a direct result of that mentality, many parents work full time in order afford the newest gadgets and trends to keep their children current. Parents also have their needs when it comes to technological equipment, laptops, wireless audio—all units in the home should be connected in a network.

This phenomena scares me and makes me wonder if this is really is for the best? I would agree with these ideals if everyone seemed to be satisfied and happy with their lives. Yet, this is not always the case. I see mothers working full time, leaving their children at a kindergarten. The children cry (often between the ages of 1-5) for their mothers. I have spoken to mothers who admit to crying when they get in the car to drive off to work. They constantly doubt whether or not it is right to leave the kids at such a young age. Mothers and fathers work all day. When they finally gets home, they only have a few hours to spend with the kids. Is it a good time of the day? On most days days it is not. There will be cooking, cleaning to do. The kids and parents get tired. At 20.00 when the kids are in bed, the parents are exhausted. And so cycle continues year after year.

We leave our kids at kindergarten and our old folks at homes for elderly people. What about us in the middle? We feel unhappy and lonely. Some surveys point out that the mental issues such as depression and anxiety increase, especially among women born in the 1970s. There are no clear answers explaining why, but it could be attributed to all demands and pressure in today’s world. The same can be seen in our teenagers. I believe that if the parents do not feel good and satisfied with their lives, how too can their children be happy?

What is wrong with common sense and mediocrity; must we all consume ourselves in materialism? I have difficulty understanding why it is difficult to recognize our children’s frustration and how much they long for us—not material goods. As they mature they, of course, adopt the behavior in the work around them and view all material things as really important.

Are there really any options? No one wants to expose their children to bullying or teasing. Of course, that always is a risk to take when making choices that differs from the crowd; however, I think that there are always reasons to be mean, if someone wants to. I think that if we all made some more choices to benefit the time spent with our families, this would not be an issue. Nothing is, by the way and a bit OT... Most of my friends could choose to work less and own a cheaper car, a smaller house and perhaps just one tablet for the kids to share. There always are choices, but we are so afraid of being different—so afraid that we lose ourselves in our fears.

No one—and I mean no one—is going to thank you for not making choices that give you and your family a happier life. No one is going to blame you if you chose to make some changes that benefit you and your children. Maybe there might be some envy, but that is a completely different thing...

Of course, there are families that struggle with their finances and have difficulty getting things to work. I am not writing about them. I write about people who make good money and that feel unhappy and miserable due to the lack of quality time spent with their kids. This actually is a common issue today and a strange issue to me. We all have a choice and when money is not an issue, why not cut down a bit and get just a bit better on following our hearts?

Our children grow up so fast. One day in the near future, they will move away. Do you think they will come and visit often? I think they will if they are accustomed to spending time with their parents, if they see their parents visiting their grandparents and if emphasis is placed on the importance of time spent with family. We are our kids’ role models and we show them the way through life. When they leave, ready to stand alone, that is all they know.

Our kids might be smarter than us and make other choices, but that is how the human race grows so there it might be hope for the next generation. I hope that more parents of today wake up and start making some changes towards a more harmonic life with less money and material stuff but with more love and happiness. We all have a choice. If you are happy the way your life is today, that is great, if not; at least try to change something. The important thing is not to do what you think you should do, it is to follow your heart. Go for the things you think that you otherwise will regret later on. That is how I live my life today:)