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Let's Build Your Biceps

Updated on May 9, 2012

First before we begin, it's good to keep a few things in mind.

It's mostly genetic. Some guys cannot build biceps. Michael Jordan couldn't play baseball well because he was born with a basketball body. Not a baseball body. His thighs and lower body are not thick and muscular -- they're pretty much stick legs he's got, and this is the part of the body that baseball players get their power to both HIT and THROW. The ones who forget this often tear parts of their upper body because it requires a force that their slingshot-ligaments can't sustain and net. The point is -- if you fail to build them, don't feel bad. Not only do you have plenty of other muscles on your arms alone that you can build that women will like, biceps aren't as necessary as you think.

Good. Now let's build some biceps.

1) You should always focus on the muscle. Isolate it. You would be absolutely surprised how many people do what they think are bicep exercises and then it's their elbows that get the burn. When you stand up, always be conscious of how your arms are bent. It helps to know geometry. Get them in perfect right angles. Do not go past ninety degrees. Too many people go the whole 180 and end up doing forearm exercises instead. None of this stretching with weights in your hand. If you tear a ligament, it's for life. A bone heals.And why does it matter if you isolate the muscles? Because you're going to feel strains and pulls, and this can take a week to fix. This will dent your workout regime because...tomorrow you probably really wanted to work on your chest, right? Well your forearms are in pain. You'll have to do that next week because push-ups are out of the question, chin ups, and definitely bench presses.

2) Work out for twenty minutes a day. Forget more. I know you want to, but your body adjusts to the nutrients you put in your body and takes a while to sort all the mail and place it in the right slots. The same goes for exercising. You want to do more, whatever. I'm not your mother.

3) Vitamin C, A, all that stuff. Drink juice like you've got a perpetual cold. And don't ever stop. Your biceps are growing and changing and you want it to have professonal help.

4) Eat right too. You get some egg whites, dump the yolk, then you get some refried black beans, Multi-grain cherrios, and to stand it...put slices of non-fat mozzerrela cheese.

5) Don't do steroids. No they're not as bad as people say they are, but they're still pretty f*cked. See you're gonna end up coming across one of these juicers, right...he's gonna arm wrestle you for fun and just maul you. The thing is, he's not getting any delicious tay from the girls around him. They slobber over him, talk about him to their girlfriends, they all want to meet him, but absolutely none of them actually take him seriously because every guy in their life works out and only THIS one looks like the Hulk. Steroid abuse is f*cked because what these things do is trick your body into thinking it has a full course of problem...your body already has a full course of testerone, and natural testerone has this thing about it where if it shows up to work and there's someone already doing it's job, it clocks out and goes home. That means that once that temp worker leaves, the testerone that would normally be there is nowhere to be found. Steroids work the part of the brain that is responsible for your libido. When Barry Bonds is out there hitting home runs, it's preceded by this strange ritalin-like you're excited and comfortable to actually focus...potheads with high IQs know what I'm talking about...yet any special education teacher can tell you that the same part of the brain where a kid gets horny is also where he gets his aggression. That's why we get temporarily unnerved and even mad when even an ex we don't even give a crap about is hooking up with another dude. If the hint of being dumped even enters the medulla oblongata of a juicer, he's not taken to a very nice place. That's why Ben Affleck straight Van-der-Slooted that girl in the after-school special. All she did was simply say "I'm concerned about you"...(i.e...I have identified a problem that you have that could lead to an irreconcilable difference or I wouldn't have even brought it up). So don't take steroids.

6) Get a rubber bungy from SportsMart or something, attack one end to your bed post, and then pull on it pull on it pull on it.

7) Now go and do some pull-ups. Tell me how many you can do. Remember that pull-ups are for biceps, chin-ups are forearms and wrists.

8) If you're going to work out biceps, work out your wrists too. It's possible to hurt other parts of your body simply for not being an equally developed. Ask people with bad backs. However they got said bad back -- they all got that way from thinking biceps were enough to lift heavy stuff all day long. Now they're fat and with back problems.

9) Know the damage that sports you play can do to your muscles while this is going on. I know it seems like this blog has very little to do with biceps, but if you don't take care of these things you're wasting your time. For example, what's the most dangerous sport? Football? Nope. Baseball? Possibly. But there is no sport that is worse for musclebuilders then basketball. Number one, the strain of the having your arms moving all the time, then the movement of your feet, you risk all kinds of ankle, elbow, knee, wrist, shoulder, everything injuries. This will put a damper on your workout time. This also means better breathing techiques so the oxygen makes it in your body more frequently.

10) It's all about your body being used to the beating you're giving it. If it accepts the exercises, i.e. you don't have strains every day, and your regiments don't get interrupted, and you don't over do it, and you're genetic pre-disposed to having them if you work, and you don't do steroids, well then yeah, anyone can build some biceps.


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      Mandy 7 years ago

      This really helped me on my report