Anger management and stress reduction

Anger management - understanding anger

Anger is a powerful emotion that can become volatile. It is like a bull raging inside of you that can go berserk any moment. You need to be in control of your emotions to keep anger in check; you need good anger management techniques or strategies to keep this steam productive and moving your life in the right direction.

Though people often talk about anger control, I would like to state things differently here. You need to manage your anger or Use Anger appropriately. Yes, you did read it right, I said you need to use anger appropriately. I would like to elaborate with an analogy here. Imagine that you have a powerful computer loaded it with the right kind of software and tools. What use is this powerful computer to you if do not know how to work with it? Similarly you cannot use your emotions well or intelligently unless you know how to handle them.

Understanding anger is important. This is the first step in anger management. You should know that anger rises within you when you feel inadequate, frustrated for not getting your way, when you have been told you are useless, when sickness makes you incapable of doing certain things or when you feel you have been unjustly targeted. Anger can take many directions - it can turn to self pity, depression, rage that exacts pain from others for what you have been through, even suicidal thoughts. Anger needs to be dealt with well and should be channelized into productive avenues.

Dealing with anger - eliminating stress

Watch out for these anger symptoms..

It is important to understand that anger is an emotion and like all emotions, you need to be in control over your anger and not let it control you.

Somehow, people have got around to thinking that only if anger gets out of control, it is an issue. When anger is employed properly, it will get you the right results.

So, if your anger is getting in the way of your performance or good relationships, you should give this some attention.

If you want to deal with your anger watch the words you speak or listen to. Words conjure up thoughts, thoughts leads to emotions, emotions leads to actions, actions to habits and habits to character.

If you want to plug any gap in the system, begin with looking at your words. What are you saying? Are you saying things like ‘That guy drives me over the bend’, ‘I cannot stand her’ or something to that effect, be sure that you are already meditating on your course of action when the next provocation comes.

Anger management and stress reduction techniques

There are many anger and stress management strategies or techniques, here I discuss some of them. These are quite useful as self help anger management techniques. These are simple things that you can do by yourself, you just need to be aware of your emotions.

Change your thoughts; identify words that are provocative and people who are provocative. What do they say that makes you angry? Go into the truth of it. Is there a need for change within?

Redirect your anger and channel them towards self improvement.

Direct your anger towards changing the things that are negative, direct it towards learning skills or self improvement. I want to share this experience with you. When I started writing theses articles, my typing speed was something like 600 words per day, laugh as much as you would, that was all I could manage. I was told in no uncertain terms by my husband that I was a dud and I couldn’t get past the first few articles. I was angry but I refused to take help, on the other hand I decided to teach my self to type at a better pace my anger was directed at the keyboard, not at people. My husband and I, we continue to be in that great relationship that we have always had. My decision to direct my anger and channel it, not only helped me learn a new skill, but also helped reduce my frustration and stress levels.

I took another decision: ‘I will not react but respond with action’. Today no one laughs at me, there is more respect for what I do. People should never be at the receiving end of your anger; it should be those things that make you feel inadequate, or incomplete. Respond, do not react. Direct your anger towards tasks not at people- the energy and the adrenalin flowing in that anger is now neatly converted into productive anger.

If you are too angry, just walk away until you can compose yourself to respond and not react. The words you blurt out in anger cannot be taken back. Anger makes you say things that you do not mean. It will only cause you embarrassment and shame while ruining a good relationship or what could have been one.

Self help - anger management techniques

Change your thoughts

It is not worth while just controlling your anger or ignoring your anger. You may be calm for a while and then suddenly lash out when you are less prepared. Program your mind to change the way you think and feel. Load your mind with the right software and tools. Keep telling yourself that you do not react, you are fun to be with, you can see the funny side of things, you hate getting into fights and soon, you will be doing what you think. The change is slow, but it does happen if you are consistently saying and repeating these positive affirmations over yourself.

My anger has been under a tight lid, I don’t have to fight it so much any more. I have learnt to ignore those taunting words, I focus in other directions, mostly creative, and, my revenge is that I prove them wrong not with words but by deeds. I don’t flaunt them around, but they speak for themselves. I end up being the winner.

Try humor

Laugh at yourself, make a joke of your flaws. It reduces your stress to a large extent. See the humor in the situation, and lighten it up, you will never feel stressed out again. Take a humor break, laugh and let your mind and muscles relax. You will respond to the situation in a different way.

Pick out your battles; deciding not to fight every thing that comes your way will be an important step towards anger and stress management. If you take offence with every word that is said or every opinion of others, you will never get anywhere. Staying focussed on your goals will help you pick up your fights right. You will only be dealing with those matters that are directly concerned with your goals and not disputing every opinion that others have.

Expect road blocks or obstacles but be prepared to face them

Do not expect life to be fair; that is highly idealistic, be realistic. There are all kinds of people around you, who don’t care a damn about fair play. Take every thing that comes your way and turn them to your advantage. If anyone calls you a nag, make that work for you by directing it towards learning a new skill- we call it by another name there – persistence.

Anger is not wrong or bad, don’t brood over events and pondering on it is not wise as anger feeds more anger, it rankles and makes you bitter or revengeful. The bible says (I summarize): Be angry but do not sin, do not let the sun go down on your anger - the wisest advice I’ve ever heard on the subject. It means its okay to get angry, but don’t let it unresolved for long or it will influence you to be hurtful and harmful. This is what causes you to stress.

Resolve issues immediately, not when you or the other person is still angry, but when things have cooled off and you can think rationally, speak, communicate ‘how you feel’ about the issue. Communication often clears up all misunderstandings. Putting things off for a later time will only cause you to flare up at the smallest provocation. This flare up may seem irrational, out of proportion and look as though you are unreasonable and small.

Anger management helps reduce stress

When you are in control over your emotions, you will be able to think rationally, make the right choices and decisions and change the direction of your life. A highly volatile person is never considered to be a mature, when you are in control over your anger you will be able to keep under wraps other negative emotions too. You will not only be considered mature but emotionally intelligent too. Your workplace relationship and atmosphere will improve and you will be able to live life with little or no stress.

You will be the master and the author of your life. When you act out in anger you hurt people physically or when you internalize anger you hurt your self both , emotionally and physically. Your heart rate is up, your blood pressure is up, you tend to get peptic ulcers, and various stress related problems. When you are emotionally healthy and have emotions under control, your health improves by leaps and bounds. Your relationship with others improves, while your self confidence and self esteem grows your performance at work soars, you are in charge now!