- Mental Health»
Are We Afraid of Happiness?
A friend of mine and I were talking the other day about how, when things are going well, we get nervous. It seems that when things are humming along, there will soon be a huge bump in the road. Life is like that. You have the good, the bad and the ugly. There can come a point though where it seems the bad and the ugly outweigh the good, at least for some people.
After talking about this for awhile, it suddenly occurred to me that we were both a little afraid to be happy. We felt it would bring an onset of bad luck if we "relaxed" into our good times. We had to stay on guard for the next bad thing that happened. Pretty sad, when you think about it. Now if you're thinking we're both just a little wacky, I wouldn't blame you. However, just to stand up for my sanity a little, I have since asked everyone I know how they feel about this. When they really gave it some thought, the surprising answer was that they too were feeling much the same way.
I have some friends who have that "I don't worry about anything" attitude. To be honest, I don't believe them. I think it's a front, a defense mechanism to some point. If they truly feel that way, then I would love to know their secret! I may worry too much, but it is hard not to these days. People have so many issues to deal with that it can truly make you paranoid and jumpy.
So, back to being afraid to be happy. I am working very hard at changing my attitude. I am trying to enjoy the good and know that the bad and the ugly will pass eventually. I am also trying to realize that being afraid to be happy is not going to save me from the bad times. I have got to get over being superstitious about being happy.
My dad would always tell me, "It doesn't help to worry about things." I would roll my eyes and think he was just being a typical man! I only say this because so many men have told me basically the same thing. I don't know if women actually worry more, or if we are just more open about it. However, I am now starting to understand and appreciate my dads advice. It really doesn't help to worry about things as it won't change anything. The only exception to this is if you discover a solution to a problem while worrying about it. Then you might change the outcome.
For all of us who are nervous about happiness, we need to remind ourselves that the world will not end if we just relax and enjoy it. Just throw caution to the wind and try it. I have always believed that you influence your life with your thoughts and this is no exception. If we get nervous and expect something bad to happen, it probably will. We've "willed" it to, in a sense. So I am trying to let go and not be afraid that just because I'm happy today, I'm not going to be "punished" for it tomorrow!
Everyone have a happy day and really enjoy it!