Baby Journal (Part 3)- Faith Challenges
Entry date: 11/6/07
Today is Tuesday the 6th of November. It marks the two week point from when Karen and I had our first major scare. Allow me to tell you about it:
On Tuesday the 23rd of October, I was supposed to meet with the men at the church at 6AM to be discipled. I firmly believe that the Lord had other plans, because that morning I was woken up by Karen's frantic call for help from the bathroom. She had woken up on her own at around 7AM and went to the bathroom. The day before she had a nose bleed and was feeling menstrual cramps. (Warning: this will be graphic...) Then, that morning she bled and passed a large object from her body. She was convinced she had a miscarriage. That's when she called me over.
When she called me I was asleep, but I woke up and ran to the bathroom. I noticed there was excessive blood in the toilet and that Karen was sobbing. She told me she had a miscarriage. I told her that she knew her body better than I did and so I believed her. I immediately called home and my mother picked up. I told her to come and to bring as much family as she could and to pray because we thought we had a miscarriage. At some point Karen called her mom and she drove over as well.
Karen and I spent a long time sitting on the bed crying together. There were literally a million thoughts running through my head. I thought of times I had talked with people about being a dad, about how I told everyone we were pregnant and how I was so proud, about our friend at church who recently had a miscarriage and I told her I didn't know what to say because I hadn't experienced that before. Was the Lord allowing us to experience a deep loss like that so that we could relate to people like our friend at church?
Our mothers (and my sister Emmy) arrived and comforted us and prayed for us. We came to terms with the thought of losing our child, so we called the midwives and explained everything to us. She calmly told me over the phone to, "not jump to any conclusions" and to immediately go to the Radiology center for a sonogram. In the mean time Emmy is not saying anything. I asked her why and mom gently said it was because Emmy thought the baby was fine. I passed it off and continued calling church friends asking them to pray for us.
We went to the radiology center and a female gave Karen a sonogram. To our MAJOR delight, the baby was clearly visible on the television monitor! In fact, s/he had a heartbeat of 150 per minute and (get this!) his legs were folded and his hands were raised into the air! I said out loud, "it's as if our child is praising the Lord!" We told friends and family the good news and thanked them for praying for us. Josh brought out a thought- God must have HUGE plans for our child because Satan is trying to attack him when he's innocent and helpless in the womb!
The Drama Saga Continues
So, after that scare we learned that it was a subchorionic hemorrhage. It is basically a blood clot in the uterine wall and that was what was "passed" that dreadful morning. The baby, we were told, is healthy and strong and the clot did not affect it at all.
Well, as I said above, today is two weeks after that horrible day. This morning, Karen passed two blood clots- this time they were no larger than two dimes. She actually called me and told me, very calmly over the phone, that she had bled this morning and passed two clots. Again, she had the same symptoms the day before- bloody nose and cramping. Anytime there is bleeding during the pregnancy, it is cause for concern, but at this point we knew it wasn't a miscarriage. Not only that, we have our full trust in the Lord that He will take care of the situation and He will protect our child.
So, the drama saga continues! We went to Washington Radiology Center and they informed us that the blood clots will go away and that everything was fine, BUT, now our child has a noticeable choreo-something-cyst in the brain. This is nothing, according to the doctor; except that it is paired with another red flag- our baby also has a different colored bowel. Since these two factors are together, there is a __% chance that the baby will be born with abnormalities or genetic defects. Do you see what I mean when I call it the "drama saga?" Again, the devil does not want this baby to live!
We Give Up!
Karen and I have totally given the pregnancy up to the Lord. We are not fearful of any "defects" or "abnormalities" because we know that God is in control and that we can do nothing to affect this pregnancy outside of God's will. When I study Jesus' ministry in the Bible, I see Him constantly sticking up for the poor, weak, downcast, lowly. Our child is weak and helpless and we know that Jesus is there to love and protect the little children. (For reference, read the beatitudes in Matthew!)
A Prayer for Little Bit
Precious little child, know that God is with you and that He loves you so dearly. Your little life is in His hands and He will guide you into His perfect will for you. We love you, little bit! God has placed you in our lives for a reason and we thank Him for you. May you be blessed by His never ending grace and mercy! We pray for you everyday!