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Baby loss is heartbreaking for everyone. `

Updated on October 24, 2011

Angel's footprints


The world is a darker place when the innocent perish

I am heartbroken to day. I have been on my daily chores of making sure my children get to school. Only to be told that a dear friend who I had thought would be holding her much loved and wanted baby girl in the next few weeks will instead have to go through child birth in misery, despair and torment. As the scan was not one of joy and rapture , but of pain, heart ache and death. At some point her little princess heart stopped beating and all hope had left when the ultrasound gave up the little life altering secret of her womb.

There was no why's or what had happened. Just a quick hard smack in the face on that screen that so many others have watched with joy. That I myself less than twelve months ago looked on with hope and love.

This time there was just pain, heartache and the death of a baby girl and of all joy and hope for the future.

I myself live with this horror for 11 years and now I find it harder to watch some one I care about go through the loss , more than it hurt to go through it myself. Why? Because in this I am helpless even though I have knowledge of it all.

Nothing anyone says or does will matter. No one can bring that little princess back for her. No one will be able to make her breathe when she gives birth. And as she sees her dead baby all hopes that the screen and doctors got it wrong will fade and the pain will stick sharply all over again.

I almost did not write this out of respect. Then I realised I was holding back to others how it is to watch it from the outside , as well as experience it. And the fact that this event is now written in black and white forever means that there will always be a record of that poor little girl who never got to shine here on earth.

Life is too cruel sometimes and my friend is yet to hear the idiotic words of what some see as comfort.

I know some fool will tell her , her baby was too precious for this life blah blah. Truth is , she would much rather her have been a naughty pain in the rear end and been alive with her right now.

These words hold no comfort for a mother who merely wants to do what so many others do and rear their child. Keep them safe and warm. We give birth to say hello, not goodbye.

I don't know why her baby died. All I know is she will never be forgotten and will always be missed.


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  • Ddraigcoch profile image

    Emma 6 years ago from UK

    I am so sorry to hear of another baby lost and gone. And of another mother suffering.

    I can not wait to be able to support her. But I am not meant to know yet, her sister in law is also my friend and told me. So I have to keep quiet until she is ready.

  • homesteadbound profile image

    Cindy Murdoch 6 years ago from Texas

    I was able to get pregnant only one time in my life, and I too learned of its death during an ultrasound. The technician said the doctor would need to speak with me, but I knew the heart was not beating, where in previous ones it had been. It is hard. And I do think it would have been easier if another had followed, but it was not to be. Your friend is lucky to have someone who understands.

  • Ddraigcoch profile image

    Emma 6 years ago from UK

    Thank you so much Eiddwen, Fay and Carole. And I have some secret news. She is pregnant again, but very early on, so not many know,lol. I am over the moon at her pregnancy. It will still hurt to miss this little baby, but somehow a new baby does sometimes help heal a bit.

  • Carole Anzolletti profile image

    Carole Anzolletti 6 years ago from The Phantom Queen's Labyrinth

    beautiful and grateful to read this...makes you realize how precious both life and death are, and how it helps us renew our bonds to those in need...

  • profile image

    Fay Paxton 6 years ago

    Thanks for this very heartfelt hub. Indeed, there are no words of comfort.


  • Eiddwen profile image

    Eiddwen 6 years ago from Wales

    Such a heart tugging hub.

    What do we say ? Nothing seems to fit does it. Your friend is lucky to have you and my heart goes out to her.

    Take care


  • Ddraigcoch profile image

    Emma 6 years ago from UK

    Thank you for your comment. xxx

  • mulberry1 profile image

    mulberry1 6 years ago

    So true. I've had two friends who lost babies. One found out the baby was anencephalic during an ultrasound (the brain stopped developing)and the other had the baby die during birth. Both were so tragic... and you're right, you feel helpless.